Went on a date, here are some notes:
Limiting beliefs:
- Don't touch her, it's weird, you're not high energy
- Don't highfive her, or hug her, it's weird
- Don't kiss her or get too close, it's weird
- Don't tell her she looks cute and you're thinking about kissing her.. it's weird.
- Don't tell her you want to do anything sexual to her, it's weird.
*If you continue to look so cute, I'll be forced to try and kiss you later*
- You can't, because she's smoking.
- Use it as a barrier and instead say: Too bad you're smoking, or else I'd probably try and kiss you right now... but you're smoking, so it's too bad ;)
* ADD KINO TO STRAWBERRY FIELDS (HOLD HANDS, ETC)
* Eye contact got more over time = she grew more comfortable
* TEST TO GO FOR THE KISS... when holding eye contact slowly go in... slowly... see if she pulls back. If she doesn't = green light.
- You don't HAVE to kiss her... but now you just know you can.
- As long as you do it slowly. Slow is key.
Biggest failure: You didn't kino, that's why the gap to a kiss or even sex felt so great, and THAT's why it felt weird.
---
What I did right:
- Didn't feel like going, felt REALLY tired (Almost felt like sleeping).
- Felt really nervous.
- Nervous when she opened the door, and on greeting.
- Felt more comfortable after some talking... (After getting to know her a bit)
- Strawberry fields (Even though I totally messed up the first one, it still went awesome -> SHE'LL EAT ALL OF THE STRAWBERRIES AND SCREW THE FARMER!)
- Questions game (Went sexual with questions, but she went backwards (non-sexual), so I took that as a hint as her not being ready... even though she answered the sexual questions truthfully, I should've pushed. But I kept thinking: "I don't want to be the creepy sexual guy that's only thinking about sex.", even though I should RISK CREEPY.)
- Qualified sexually during the questions game ("Craziest place sex... lemme guess, foot of the bed", her: "Noooo, on the beach ;)")
- LOL! She asked me what are the 3 most important things in a relationship. It came out so fast, almost like I had pre-rehearsed it (She didn't caught on, but that's how I felt about it haha)
- Honesty, trust & respect. - Credit; David X
- She agreed.
- Set all the right frames:
- Non-judgemental
- Adventurous
- Independent
- Good at keeping secrets/discreet
- Baited her to invest (Still haven't heard any jokes ;))
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Loads of realisations #2
They just keep on coming... 60's and SNS are striking home... this time the biggest thing I've learned is:
Eye contact + blank stare + silence = still golden.
and
Screening for good logistics (and how fucking easy it is, if you remember to just do it)
AA stays throughout the night... the thing you should strive for is not giving a fuck when you get rejected or weird people out.
If you can instantly (or very quickly) say: "fuck it", when this happens... that's when you've reached Social God Mode.
How I was at the end, is the same as I am ALL THE TIME. The same thought patterns, the same worries, the same every thing... only difference is I say what's on my mind and don't give a fuck.
I'll admit to mistakes: Oh, I forgot your name, oh I ran out of stuff to say. I just don't give a fuck. Why? They're not responsible for my happiness... I am.
Bad body language is FINE... as long as you're comfortable. (e.g. not worrying about what they're thinking of you, e.g. in your head)
- leaning in doesn't count as bad body language... it's just needy and bad. With bad body language I mean folding of the arms, or not dancing and just looking around for a while.
Eye contact + blank stare + silence = still golden.
Had an awesome time
Nervous at start, approached first girl sober (really felt heart racing and afterwards felt like: wooow, feel the adrenaline, that was awesome!)
- Thought pattern after this was: "Yeah well... I approached, but I didn't go direct and I'm still a pussy for chickening out on the other 5-10 girls I saw... why is this SO HARD?!" (Next time when you get here, build it up... go indirect, chat with people, get in the mood to socialize)
Didn't approach enough... (stuck to the group I came with, or walked off and didn't approach ANY groups)
Usually go for loners (need to open mixed groups more, or 1 girl/2 guys, even try indirect and ask logistical questions at first, see how that goes. And then hit on her if she's single.)
Was sober at start, later 1-2 beers, kinda tipsy
Went direct EVERY TIME (you looked cute/nice, had to come meet you)
tried instantly for its on moment (her: "wow really forward... what... are you doing?") BUT, she was complying... curling her fingers in mine. Eventually I kinda let her go.. should've kept going and talked normally. Ignore her comments.
- I was LOOKING at our hands when going for the it's on moment... next time, feel it out, do it but hold eye contact and talk about something else. Don't draw attention to it... do you ever kino her shoulder and look at where you're touching? No... because it's fucking weird... same goes for the IOM.
CONSTANTLY ran out of stuff to say and went in my head thinking: alright... what routine to use
SNAKEBITE:
1st girl: I didn't hear you...
2nd girl: wow... this interaction keeps getting weirder! (already felt she was kinda hesistant at first, but as she wanted to walk off I kept talking, making statements and kept reingaging her as she gave me more and more compliance... even walking back to hear what I had to say... and then I went for the sexual frame too soon, or I just did snakebite too weird...)
Direct approach, false time constraint as I sat down... later friend came in, INSTANTLY greeted him, made statement (you seem like you're from the same school)
did snakebite, her: "yeah... I'm not feeling the poison :P"
I constantly said: well... I just ran out of stuff to say (which is the truth... haha, but it's not really something that'll help me in seduction)
holded eye contact with a girl a lot while silent... got close into her face without her breaking eye contact...
tried to get her number, she didn't give it...
me: "playing hard to get... I see :P do you have a boyfriend?"
her: "no..."
me: "then there's no reason not to give me your number"
her: "uuhhhh welll.... uhhh"
me: "alright, nevermind... I can already tell that I won't see you again based on your response so.... I don't want a flaky number, I want to see you again though"
*silence*
me: "you're kinda cool though... you can be my best friend for the next... 10 minutes ;)"
her: "hhaha 10 minutes? alright :P"
me: "so... i like your sense of humor though, tell me a joke"
her: instant reply: "nooo i don't know any"
seeing as she didn't even THINK first, I couldn't tell her: aahh I saw it, it was a dirty joke... it would've been out of place.
after opener, every time I asked who they were there with and how they knew eachother and they ALWAYS complied. ALWAYS.
Who are you here with, how do you all know eachother
and how did you get here? (Bike, Public transportation)
I got AWESOME responses.... I expected girls to be all negative EVERY TIME, but they weren't... they were happy to talk to me. (Even the ones that looked like they had an attitude) Until it got weird and I got this kinda feeling that I was unwanted so I left... (usually after baiting her to invest and her not complying and then looking around with a blank expression face)
fast escalation (snakebite -> sexual frame -> weirded some girls out..)
check
a calm reaction to resistance (look at her funny, eye contact)
check
persistence
check... but, should've overstayed my welcome longer... fuck social pressure, stay in there until she tells you to fuck off or leaves.
---
People are bored as fuck at social gatherings
You're adding value no matter what when you approach (even when you're creepy you'll give them a conversation piece for the rest of the night)
- This is fucking true.... I saw people I've approached, and even though my interaction was horrible, they'd still rather be talking to me than be bored.
- How do I know this? Easy, after awkward silence and her looking away, she reingaged me.. and was investing after I baited her to (e.g. ask her question, her replying truthfully and with eye contact/smile/etc)
So how would you act if you knew the woman you were talking to
already liked you?
I bet you probably held face contact, got really close to her, and didn’t
feel the need to say or do anything special. In fact, you probably sat back
and let her talk most of the time (qualify herself) while you smirked
thinking “it’s just a matter of time”.
- Yup, every time I was in conversation and she answered ANY question I asked with eye contact I would assume attraction, got really close and held eye contact/silence.
- Why did I assume attraction? Easy... she wasn't weirded out after I told her she was cute/nice and asked some logistical questions/statements.
---
Next time instead of snakebite -> good girl, naughty side (or different side, if it's too early)
- If you continue to look so cute I'm forced to flirt with you later (or some more)
- half-a-motherfucking-HUG
- 3D escalation (GET PEOPLE TO FUCKING MOVE, NO MATTER WHAT or WHERE you are in the interaction... get the calibration, fuck up a couple of times, 3D escalation is TOO HUGE to ignore)
I noticed that I used snakebite to reward her compliance (oh, you do this/that school.. awesome! pound it! snakebite)
It's not working... or it's too soon... (or I'm not doing it right, they're not laughing...)
reward with halfahug
or reward with highfive (and go into an IOM)
"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted"
And that I did... A LOT. Imagine how much more experience I would get if I approached EVERY girl that I liked... (loud music and mixed groups are still scaring me)
Loud music because: I'm scared she won't hear me and it just not going well. (Also I can't use long questions/statements/roleplays, keep the questions/statements short)
Mixed groups because: Guys are bigger than me? lol, I dunno... I always feel like guys would be hostile towards me, even though about 99/100 guys I meet are cool guys and like me)
In order to speed up the learning process I have to:
Stay in the interaction until I get a "fuck off", or she/they walk off.
Open girls EVERY WHERE, no matter the situation.
- And I've approached 1 girl/4 guys before (direct), so I know I can do it :)
- And I've approached girls in LOUD ASS clubs too (direct), they liked me, they smiled, interaction fizzles... byebye cute girl, but.... I know I can do it.
- Need to write down some NORMAL lines in-between sexual frames/roleplays/investments, sorry Epik, but you told me that you go from opener to snakebite to fuck/murder/marry to roleplay.... but to me.. that's weird. I want to be normal and sexy as fuck. I'll use your stuff... but... I need some NORMAL lines too. Some normal getting to know you questions.... hmmmmmmmmm what do I want to know....? (hint: personality)
So... from the "what do you do" question/statement, you go into the: "why choose that?" or "I see, so you like helping people... you must be a really good friend... etc"
To be continued... I'm fucking tired, I'm going to bed... can't wait until Thursday/Friday. Going out alone is getting closer... once I can: Hold conversations with mixed groups (fucking easy, but I'm not doing it because of fear) and am far enough to be able to isolate girls from groups consistently.
Eye contact + blank stare + silence = still golden.
and
Screening for good logistics (and how fucking easy it is, if you remember to just do it)
AA stays throughout the night... the thing you should strive for is not giving a fuck when you get rejected or weird people out.
If you can instantly (or very quickly) say: "fuck it", when this happens... that's when you've reached Social God Mode.
How I was at the end, is the same as I am ALL THE TIME. The same thought patterns, the same worries, the same every thing... only difference is I say what's on my mind and don't give a fuck.
I'll admit to mistakes: Oh, I forgot your name, oh I ran out of stuff to say. I just don't give a fuck. Why? They're not responsible for my happiness... I am.
Bad body language is FINE... as long as you're comfortable. (e.g. not worrying about what they're thinking of you, e.g. in your head)
- leaning in doesn't count as bad body language... it's just needy and bad. With bad body language I mean folding of the arms, or not dancing and just looking around for a while.
Eye contact + blank stare + silence = still golden.
Had an awesome time
Nervous at start, approached first girl sober (really felt heart racing and afterwards felt like: wooow, feel the adrenaline, that was awesome!)
- Thought pattern after this was: "Yeah well... I approached, but I didn't go direct and I'm still a pussy for chickening out on the other 5-10 girls I saw... why is this SO HARD?!" (Next time when you get here, build it up... go indirect, chat with people, get in the mood to socialize)
Didn't approach enough... (stuck to the group I came with, or walked off and didn't approach ANY groups)
Usually go for loners (need to open mixed groups more, or 1 girl/2 guys, even try indirect and ask logistical questions at first, see how that goes. And then hit on her if she's single.)
Was sober at start, later 1-2 beers, kinda tipsy
Went direct EVERY TIME (you looked cute/nice, had to come meet you)
tried instantly for its on moment (her: "wow really forward... what... are you doing?") BUT, she was complying... curling her fingers in mine. Eventually I kinda let her go.. should've kept going and talked normally. Ignore her comments.
- I was LOOKING at our hands when going for the it's on moment... next time, feel it out, do it but hold eye contact and talk about something else. Don't draw attention to it... do you ever kino her shoulder and look at where you're touching? No... because it's fucking weird... same goes for the IOM.
CONSTANTLY ran out of stuff to say and went in my head thinking: alright... what routine to use
SNAKEBITE:
1st girl: I didn't hear you...
2nd girl: wow... this interaction keeps getting weirder! (already felt she was kinda hesistant at first, but as she wanted to walk off I kept talking, making statements and kept reingaging her as she gave me more and more compliance... even walking back to hear what I had to say... and then I went for the sexual frame too soon, or I just did snakebite too weird...)
Direct approach, false time constraint as I sat down... later friend came in, INSTANTLY greeted him, made statement (you seem like you're from the same school)
did snakebite, her: "yeah... I'm not feeling the poison :P"
I constantly said: well... I just ran out of stuff to say (which is the truth... haha, but it's not really something that'll help me in seduction)
holded eye contact with a girl a lot while silent... got close into her face without her breaking eye contact...
tried to get her number, she didn't give it...
me: "playing hard to get... I see :P do you have a boyfriend?"
her: "no..."
me: "then there's no reason not to give me your number"
her: "uuhhhh welll.... uhhh"
me: "alright, nevermind... I can already tell that I won't see you again based on your response so.... I don't want a flaky number, I want to see you again though"
*silence*
me: "you're kinda cool though... you can be my best friend for the next... 10 minutes ;)"
her: "hhaha 10 minutes? alright :P"
me: "so... i like your sense of humor though, tell me a joke"
her: instant reply: "nooo i don't know any"
seeing as she didn't even THINK first, I couldn't tell her: aahh I saw it, it was a dirty joke... it would've been out of place.
after opener, every time I asked who they were there with and how they knew eachother and they ALWAYS complied. ALWAYS.
Who are you here with, how do you all know eachother
and how did you get here? (Bike, Public transportation)
I got AWESOME responses.... I expected girls to be all negative EVERY TIME, but they weren't... they were happy to talk to me. (Even the ones that looked like they had an attitude) Until it got weird and I got this kinda feeling that I was unwanted so I left... (usually after baiting her to invest and her not complying and then looking around with a blank expression face)
fast escalation (snakebite -> sexual frame -> weirded some girls out..)
check
a calm reaction to resistance (look at her funny, eye contact)
check
persistence
check... but, should've overstayed my welcome longer... fuck social pressure, stay in there until she tells you to fuck off or leaves.
---
People are bored as fuck at social gatherings
You're adding value no matter what when you approach (even when you're creepy you'll give them a conversation piece for the rest of the night)
- This is fucking true.... I saw people I've approached, and even though my interaction was horrible, they'd still rather be talking to me than be bored.
- How do I know this? Easy, after awkward silence and her looking away, she reingaged me.. and was investing after I baited her to (e.g. ask her question, her replying truthfully and with eye contact/smile/etc)
So how would you act if you knew the woman you were talking to
already liked you?
I bet you probably held face contact, got really close to her, and didn’t
feel the need to say or do anything special. In fact, you probably sat back
and let her talk most of the time (qualify herself) while you smirked
thinking “it’s just a matter of time”.
- Yup, every time I was in conversation and she answered ANY question I asked with eye contact I would assume attraction, got really close and held eye contact/silence.
- Why did I assume attraction? Easy... she wasn't weirded out after I told her she was cute/nice and asked some logistical questions/statements.
---
Next time instead of snakebite -> good girl, naughty side (or different side, if it's too early)
- If you continue to look so cute I'm forced to flirt with you later (or some more)
- half-a-motherfucking-HUG
- 3D escalation (GET PEOPLE TO FUCKING MOVE, NO MATTER WHAT or WHERE you are in the interaction... get the calibration, fuck up a couple of times, 3D escalation is TOO HUGE to ignore)
I noticed that I used snakebite to reward her compliance (oh, you do this/that school.. awesome! pound it! snakebite)
It's not working... or it's too soon... (or I'm not doing it right, they're not laughing...)
reward with halfahug
or reward with highfive (and go into an IOM)
"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted"
And that I did... A LOT. Imagine how much more experience I would get if I approached EVERY girl that I liked... (loud music and mixed groups are still scaring me)
Loud music because: I'm scared she won't hear me and it just not going well. (Also I can't use long questions/statements/roleplays, keep the questions/statements short)
Mixed groups because: Guys are bigger than me? lol, I dunno... I always feel like guys would be hostile towards me, even though about 99/100 guys I meet are cool guys and like me)
In order to speed up the learning process I have to:
Stay in the interaction until I get a "fuck off", or she/they walk off.
Open girls EVERY WHERE, no matter the situation.
- And I've approached 1 girl/4 guys before (direct), so I know I can do it :)
- And I've approached girls in LOUD ASS clubs too (direct), they liked me, they smiled, interaction fizzles... byebye cute girl, but.... I know I can do it.
- Need to write down some NORMAL lines in-between sexual frames/roleplays/investments, sorry Epik, but you told me that you go from opener to snakebite to fuck/murder/marry to roleplay.... but to me.. that's weird. I want to be normal and sexy as fuck. I'll use your stuff... but... I need some NORMAL lines too. Some normal getting to know you questions.... hmmmmmmmmm what do I want to know....? (hint: personality)
So... from the "what do you do" question/statement, you go into the: "why choose that?" or "I see, so you like helping people... you must be a really good friend... etc"
To be continued... I'm fucking tired, I'm going to bed... can't wait until Thursday/Friday. Going out alone is getting closer... once I can: Hold conversations with mixed groups (fucking easy, but I'm not doing it because of fear) and am far enough to be able to isolate girls from groups consistently.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Some notes on DJ Fuji's 21 Convention talk of 2010
Discipline is doing what's necessary, even when you don't feel like it.
Where I lack discipline?
1a. Approaching
Reason: Don't feel like it
Fix: Go to bed on time & get up early
- Eat healthy
- Exercise to gain energy
- Don't drink to excessive amounts (and get a hangover)
Why Fix It?: To have a happier dating life.
When: Next time you see a hot girl, open, no matter how you feel and no matter how the interaction goes... doesn't matter.
1b. Approaching 2
Reason: Don't want dissaproval (scared of failure/rejection)
Fix: Accept everything and realize it's not you or your skillset... it's a numbers game/pleasure.
- She's not rejecting YOU, her logistics aren't right or she's just not ready.
Why Fix It?: To have a happier dating life.
When: Next time you see a hot girl, open, no matter how you feel and no matter how the interaction goes... doesn't matter.
2a. Escalating
Reason: Don't want to blow it... take it easy and steady.
Fix: Blow me or blow me out (MODE ONE BABY)
Why Fix It?: Not escalating will make her lose interest and you end up losing the girl or wasting a lot of time... and usually both.
- If she walks away, she was gonna walk away ANYWAY. Whether you went for the kiss or not.
- She's just not ready, and will be down for it later... you have progressed forward.
- Doing NOTHING will keep you from progressing and is actually de-escalating.
- You always go forward because you're a man, you go for what you want (Attractive quality). She can forgive you for that... she won't forgive you for being a pussy.
When: Next time you're with a girl you like... escalate. ;)
2b. Escalating 2
Reason: Don't know HOW
Fix: Do something, anything... anything is better than nothing.
Why Fix It?: Not escalating will make her lose interest and you end up losing the girl or wasting a lot of time... and usually both.
When: Next time you're with a girl you like... escalate. Even if you don't know how... just do something.
- Where are you? and What needs to happen for sex to occur? (Hand caressing? Isolation? Kiss?) and work towards it.
3. Go to bed on time
Reason: I'm doing activities until really late at night that are fun, and I don't want to go to bed early
Fix: Set an alarm clock and fucking do it. Go to bed early.
Why Fix It?: To have a happier dating life, and have more energy in the morning.
- And to be able to get up early (see below)
When: Go to bed at 12 AM.
4. Get up early
Reason: I'm doing activities until really late at night that are fun, and I don't want to go to bed early
Fix: Set an alarm clock and fucking do it. Get up early.
Why Fix It?: To have a happier dating life, and have more energy in the morning.
- Also to be able to approach when I actually DO have to get out of the house, and to not waste precious hours of the day. The day is limited. Get up earlier will give you more hours to get things done.
When: Get up at 9 AM, and do all the things you would do in the evening after 12 AM.
When on the side of action or inaction, always take action.
You only regret the inaction...
- "Oh.. I shouldn't have gone out... I shouldn't have taken that trip... I should've stayed home."
- "I shouldn't have approached that HB10 with 2 guys with her."
Humor allows for escalation to happen without it being weird. (Kino, sexual frames, etc, with humor it's fine)
---
open the FIRST SET ALWAYS, no matter how you feel, no matter if it's 2 girls, guy and girl on a date, 2 guys making out, doesn't matter.
If you let 1 excuse get by, you're going to let every excuse get by.
Don't give yourself excuses. Because you'll make an excuse ladder:
"Oh, I can't approach them... they are 2 guys making out..."
What then will you say when there's 2 girls?
"Oh... I can't approach them, they're probably together..."
What about 3 girls?
"Oh... it looks like they're in a conversation right now... I don't want to disturb..."
Your goal is to OPEN, nothing else.
It's to OPEN, it's not to:
- impress people
- get attraction
- get her to like you
- get sexual
IT IS TO OPEN, UNTIL YOU OPEN NOTHING ELSE MATTERS. And when you get there... then you can worry about everything else.
Getting AA? Read this...:
Are you here to get the girl, or are you here to get the skill?
And if you're here to get the skill then why does a rejection matter?
Does it have any effect on your life whatsoever?
Don't let fear control your life... the fear is an illusion.
Don't let illusions hold you back from achieving your goals.
---------
1 girl and you make excuses, it doesn't matter that much experience wise...
...the problem comes that now your actions are influencing your beliefs.
What kind of man are you telling yourself that you are? Are you a man that goes after what he wants... apparently not, because your actions contradicts that.
When you're in-field and you see a set and you don't immediately go in...
"Let me think of a great opener and then I'll go in"
- If you thought of a great routine, you went in and took them home. It'll be worse on your inner game then if you went up straight away and got blown out.
- That sounds crazy in theory, but it's because you hesitated... When you hesitate, no matter what the outcome is...
you're telling yourself: I'm not a man of action, I'm not a man who believes in himself, I'm not a man who goes after what he wants.
instead, you're telling yourself: I'm a man who second guesses himself, I'm a man who isn't sure of himself (I've gotta think of what to say).
And that is much more damaging than anything else that you can do.
Actions influence beliefs.
---
Short is unattractive because it's stereotyped:
- With a lack of dominance.
- With a lack of survival value
- with a lack of strength
- With the lack of emotions of safety
When you're infield; YOU are NOT your results.
results have no impact on who you are
Great reactions, bad reactions. Girl likes you, girl doesn't like you, doesn't matter.
You either made mistakes or didn't. Or didn't do well, or did well.
When you blow ALL your sets, it means absolutely NOTHING to who YOU are.
And if you hook EVERY set, it means absolutely NOTHING to who YOU are.
It's simply a matter of how you performed. Mistakes or not.
Steer conversations from one topic to another one that's beneficial to you (e.g. sexuality/relationships/travel)
Where I lack discipline?
1a. Approaching
Reason: Don't feel like it
Fix: Go to bed on time & get up early
- Eat healthy
- Exercise to gain energy
- Don't drink to excessive amounts (and get a hangover)
Why Fix It?: To have a happier dating life.
When: Next time you see a hot girl, open, no matter how you feel and no matter how the interaction goes... doesn't matter.
1b. Approaching 2
Reason: Don't want dissaproval (scared of failure/rejection)
Fix: Accept everything and realize it's not you or your skillset... it's a numbers game/pleasure.
- She's not rejecting YOU, her logistics aren't right or she's just not ready.
Why Fix It?: To have a happier dating life.
When: Next time you see a hot girl, open, no matter how you feel and no matter how the interaction goes... doesn't matter.
2a. Escalating
Reason: Don't want to blow it... take it easy and steady.
Fix: Blow me or blow me out (MODE ONE BABY)
Why Fix It?: Not escalating will make her lose interest and you end up losing the girl or wasting a lot of time... and usually both.
- If she walks away, she was gonna walk away ANYWAY. Whether you went for the kiss or not.
- She's just not ready, and will be down for it later... you have progressed forward.
- Doing NOTHING will keep you from progressing and is actually de-escalating.
- You always go forward because you're a man, you go for what you want (Attractive quality). She can forgive you for that... she won't forgive you for being a pussy.
When: Next time you're with a girl you like... escalate. ;)
2b. Escalating 2
Reason: Don't know HOW
Fix: Do something, anything... anything is better than nothing.
Why Fix It?: Not escalating will make her lose interest and you end up losing the girl or wasting a lot of time... and usually both.
When: Next time you're with a girl you like... escalate. Even if you don't know how... just do something.
- Where are you? and What needs to happen for sex to occur? (Hand caressing? Isolation? Kiss?) and work towards it.
3. Go to bed on time
Reason: I'm doing activities until really late at night that are fun, and I don't want to go to bed early
Fix: Set an alarm clock and fucking do it. Go to bed early.
Why Fix It?: To have a happier dating life, and have more energy in the morning.
- And to be able to get up early (see below)
When: Go to bed at 12 AM.
4. Get up early
Reason: I'm doing activities until really late at night that are fun, and I don't want to go to bed early
Fix: Set an alarm clock and fucking do it. Get up early.
Why Fix It?: To have a happier dating life, and have more energy in the morning.
- Also to be able to approach when I actually DO have to get out of the house, and to not waste precious hours of the day. The day is limited. Get up earlier will give you more hours to get things done.
When: Get up at 9 AM, and do all the things you would do in the evening after 12 AM.
When on the side of action or inaction, always take action.
You only regret the inaction...
- "Oh.. I shouldn't have gone out... I shouldn't have taken that trip... I should've stayed home."
- "I shouldn't have approached that HB10 with 2 guys with her."
Humor allows for escalation to happen without it being weird. (Kino, sexual frames, etc, with humor it's fine)
---
open the FIRST SET ALWAYS, no matter how you feel, no matter if it's 2 girls, guy and girl on a date, 2 guys making out, doesn't matter.
If you let 1 excuse get by, you're going to let every excuse get by.
Don't give yourself excuses. Because you'll make an excuse ladder:
"Oh, I can't approach them... they are 2 guys making out..."
What then will you say when there's 2 girls?
"Oh... I can't approach them, they're probably together..."
What about 3 girls?
"Oh... it looks like they're in a conversation right now... I don't want to disturb..."
Your goal is to OPEN, nothing else.
It's to OPEN, it's not to:
- impress people
- get attraction
- get her to like you
- get sexual
IT IS TO OPEN, UNTIL YOU OPEN NOTHING ELSE MATTERS. And when you get there... then you can worry about everything else.
Getting AA? Read this...:
Are you here to get the girl, or are you here to get the skill?
And if you're here to get the skill then why does a rejection matter?
Does it have any effect on your life whatsoever?
Don't let fear control your life... the fear is an illusion.
Don't let illusions hold you back from achieving your goals.
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1 girl and you make excuses, it doesn't matter that much experience wise...
...the problem comes that now your actions are influencing your beliefs.
What kind of man are you telling yourself that you are? Are you a man that goes after what he wants... apparently not, because your actions contradicts that.
When you're in-field and you see a set and you don't immediately go in...
"Let me think of a great opener and then I'll go in"
- If you thought of a great routine, you went in and took them home. It'll be worse on your inner game then if you went up straight away and got blown out.
- That sounds crazy in theory, but it's because you hesitated... When you hesitate, no matter what the outcome is...
you're telling yourself: I'm not a man of action, I'm not a man who believes in himself, I'm not a man who goes after what he wants.
instead, you're telling yourself: I'm a man who second guesses himself, I'm a man who isn't sure of himself (I've gotta think of what to say).
And that is much more damaging than anything else that you can do.
Actions influence beliefs.
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Short is unattractive because it's stereotyped:
- With a lack of dominance.
- With a lack of survival value
- with a lack of strength
- With the lack of emotions of safety
When you're infield; YOU are NOT your results.
results have no impact on who you are
Great reactions, bad reactions. Girl likes you, girl doesn't like you, doesn't matter.
You either made mistakes or didn't. Or didn't do well, or did well.
When you blow ALL your sets, it means absolutely NOTHING to who YOU are.
And if you hook EVERY set, it means absolutely NOTHING to who YOU are.
It's simply a matter of how you performed. Mistakes or not.
Steer conversations from one topic to another one that's beneficial to you (e.g. sexuality/relationships/travel)
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