15 lessons from 2011

I was just going over on what I've learned in 2011 and made a list of the 15 most important ones. Just wanted to share them with you guys, have fun. ;)




1. Your mind is not you

Kinda the same as the first. People think that what they are thinking is who they are. The beliefs they have about themselves and others is who they are and what defines them as a person. This is false.

Sometimes you do something you're really proud of and you think you're awesome, you can achieve anything. Other times you fail at something and think that you can't do anything.
So which one is true? Neither. These are temporary and state depended beliefs. These are not you.

Your brain WILL fuck you up if you let it. Don't fucking listen to it. Do what you want, without holding back. Just don't think about it, your brain is your biggest enemy, especially in the world of pickup where everything is run by emotions.

Let me share with you a quote from: The Way of the Superior Man (by David Deida)

Quote:

"Your mind is just a display of conditioning of your past, of thoughts, of things people have told you, things you've read, your own idea's, things you've watched on TV.... all of which changes. Think back 10 years and you'll probably think; "Well, I thought I knew what was going on then, but now I'm 10 years older and now I REALLY know what's going on" But of course, in another 10 years you'll feel like what you knew now was very immature. We're constantly growing, therefore to trust your own mind is a mistake."

Even before we do something we imagine how much effort it's going to take and if we're able to achieve the result we're after.
There's a psychological term (that most depressive and pessimistic people have) called: selective interpretation.
It basically says that people who suffer from this overestimate the difficulty of certain tasks and exaggerate the amount of energy needed to complete those tasks. They have a difficulty of making an realistic estimate on how much effort is needed to get success.

Stop believing the mental chatter inside your mind, because your mind is not you.



2. Excuses, worrying and procrastinating.

"An excuse is something you tell yourself to feel good about the bad decision you're making."

We all want to do stuff. We have desires, wants, needs. Yet we come up with SO MANY excuses in our heads as to why we shouldn't do it. The worst part is, we belief them.
How many times have you seen that gorgeous girl that you KNOW you wanted to meet, but you haven't actually gone over and talked to her, because;
- You weren't in the mood/Just woke up
- Thought she probably wouldn't be friendly
- Thought you needed to read another ebook before you would be ready
- I waited too long, and now I creeped her out.
- *insert lame excuse here*

How many times have you thought about kissing an attractive girl you were talking to, but didn't, because;
- She's not ready
- She probably won't kiss me back and I'll look like a fool

And not just with women. This type of procrastination spreads throughout all area's of your life. School/work-projects, bills, chores, etc.
All this extra worrying and mental clutter causes more stress, which in return will cause more unhappiness.
Stop procrastinating and worrying, either decide to do something, or don't.

Worrying also kills conversations and fun vibes. If you're talking to someone and you're constantly in your hear worrying that you're going to run out of things to say, guess what happens? You're going to run out of things to say.
That's because your mind can only focus and think about 1 thing at a time, and if you choose to focus on worrying, then that'll be your conversational topic.
Instead you should accept that you might run out of things to say, and it's okay. Because your mind will come up with new conversational topics if you just STOP worrying.

I love that one scene in Avatar, where the lead guy is just starting to get used to his new Avatar body, and he says:
"My feet are getting tougher. I can run farther every day.
I have to trust my body to know what to do."

You too have to trust your own mind that it'll come up with the right things to say.
Have you ever approached a girl not knowing what to say, but the moment you stood in front of her you just said: "Hi", and went from there.
You didn't have a mental clog, did you? Unless you were worring.

This brings me to my next point:



3. Acceptance & action

People create fears, anxieties and negative emotions inside themselves, because they think how they view the world is not how it's supposed to be.
They see a beautiful girl walking down the street and want to go talk to her. But they think: "what are other people gonna think? They're gonna judge me. They're gonna think I'm a weirdo. They're gonna think I'm a freak.".
But is the problem that they're gonna think you're a freak? Or is the problem that you're expecting them NOT to think you're a freak? Or are you expecting them not to be there? Or that you don't want them to be there?

It doesn't have anything to do with the external environment, but that you expect it to be different. It's only caused by OUR rejection. The external environment doesn't do anything.
So if we didn't reject the external environment we wouldn't experience the negative emotions and we wouldn't hold ourselves back. We simply accepted everything as it was in this moment and emotions wouldn't exist and we would just follow our desires.

Simply accept everything that's going on in this present moment as it is, and then taking action on what you want to do.
This is the essence of not giving a fuck and being indifferent.
This is the core of not seeking approval from other people.

Let me give you a quick example so you can understand this concept better:
Imagine you're driving in your car and you're on your way to meet a friend. Now he's sitting at the end of a busy road with lots of traffic lights.
And you get a red light on EVERY traffic light. Now I can imagine this would piss you off.

What's the real problem here? Is it that the traffic light is red. Or is it that you expect and want it to be green?

Now in the same scenario, imagine your friend is 20 minutes late, and you're on that same road. There are no parking spots to park your car. You're still getting all red lights. Does it still piss you off? I can imagine that it wouldn't. You can just relax in your car, listen to some tunes, etc, because your friend hasn't shown up yet.

It wasn't the fact that the light was red that you felt pissed off in the first scenario. But it was that you expected it to be green.
And when the light was red in the second scenario, and you wanted it to be red. You didn't feel pissed off, or felt any form of anxiety.

Any anxiety we experience is because we put an expectation on the external environment to be different. There's no other reason.
It's about what we're trying to do. We think that the external environment is preventing us from getting and doing what we want.
But it's YOU and your expectation.

Same goes for other people when they don't meet our expectations. We feel pissed off, but realize that you can't change people. Deal with them as they are. Unconditional acceptance of others is the key to happy relationships.



4. Know your own self worth

If you don't know who you are, then you won't know what you're worth.
And if you don't know what you're worth, then you'll always be cutting yourself short.

I remember when I got my first numberclose, I'd be so excited and told all my friends. They were all excited for me: "Great job man! Awesome!"
I felt validated.

A few months after that I finally hit a point where I would tell my friends I got a number, but this time they wouldn't validate me: "So what? You do this shit all the time. It's not special."
Now instead of trying to do more amazing things in order to get validated, I got something better. I got a wake-up call.

Stop seeking validation from other people, because you're not always going to get it. If you make other people in charge of your happiness I can guarantee you that your life will be full of dissapointment and irregular happy days.

Taken from RSD (by Awesomejohn):

Quote:

Validation is a drug, and a very addictive one. Our highest highs and our lowest lows come from others when we are confused and reacting too much. To take one you have to take the other. Who here HASN'T been feeling on top of the world because things were going extremely well with a girl you just met, and then felt deflated because she seems more into some other guy later? Those "highest highs" are extremely painful to give up. You will NEVER have enough. External validation seems to be something that comes and goes, it wears off, and you go seeking more. You could number close a supermodel and be in full shining nimbus glory or whatever for 3 days, maybe even a week, but it WILL eventually dissipate and fade, and you will be left with whatever you were before. This is too large of a part of your life to just remove. And what I mean by that is that it must be replaced with something else. You have done it, I almost guarantee you, from time to time. Self validation, being satisfied with the performance you gave. Challenge yourself, every day, do something you didn't think you were capable of, every day, Scare yourself, scream, laugh, and do it again. You expose yourself to a range of emotions that is typical of people who have all the power and resources to experience whatever they want, only YOU know it came from within so you get more gratification. Will that sort of thing fade in 3-4 days? No fucking way.

When I was practicing game I would go out, fail and try again. I would get numbers, be excited and have them flake. I never gave up though. But the most important thing I had was a core satisfaction that I lived a day that had more challenge and excitement than most people get in a year. Now how, coming from that place, would you EVER let those people judge you?



5. Never settle

We all want the best, but we don't all get it. People settle for less.
Sometimes you might get a girl into you, you think she's pretty good. But she's lacking some traits that you want in a girl.
Who cares, you're getting laid right? Wrong.
You think this won't affect you and how you view yourself? You're gonna start believing that you can't do better, are you're just too lazy to even try.

Keep on searching for the women that will make you feel something. The women that will make you feel alive.
The Women that will make you laugh, cry, live. That's what this is about.
Not marrying some 30 year old chubby girl who gives you blowjobs twice a week, because you're too fat to fuck her properly.

This brings me to my next point:



6. Love is self-deception

We all know that quote that floats around in society: "Love makes blind".

It's true, when we settle and think our girlfriends/wives are awesome, but they lack a few traits and we look past them.
Now I'm not saying dump that bitch cause she doesn't listen to your Mettalica albums. I mean important core traits. Like when you think it's important to treat people with equal respect, and she keeps talking down to other people. Deep down you really can't stand this, but who cares? You're getting laid right?
You get affection, love, sex, all the things you want from a girl. Realize though that there are 6.985 billion other people in the world and if she doesn't meet up to your expectations don't stick around just because you "love" her.

Now I say love is self-deception, because you think that one girl is special, when she really isn't. She's only special, because she's the closest to what you want in a girl at that specific time. You really think there isn't a girl around that is equally awesome or even better than her?
If you're happy with the current girl you're seeing and there are no flaws to her. Awesome. I'm happy for you. But if you're not, don't settle and stick around just because you "love" her.



7. Jealousy comes from your own insecurities

I was dating this girl for quite some time. She was awesome, we had fun times. But she didn't want to be exclusive and when she spent time with other men I felt this pain in my stomache. I felt really nauseous and sick. I realized this was jealousy.

But why did it bother me that other guys would stick their penis in her vagina? Why did it bother me that she would cuddle up and kiss other guys? I was in love, sure. But when she was with me I wouldn't feel those other guys. She would just shower and it would be like those other guys never fucked her.
It didn't bother me that she was talking about past sexual experiences, just the current ones she was having without me. so what was it then?
What I also realized is that it came from my own insecurities. I felt the need for exclusivity and felt jealous because I was scared shitless that she will compare, and that I would not measure up and that she would leave me.
Jealousy usually is just an expression of insecurity, of fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, feeling left out, feeling not good enough, or feeling inadequate.

I realized that her fucking other men, doesn't necessarily mean that she won't spend time with me anymore.
And even then, woman are awesome people, but they're not your possession. They are free to do whatever they want, and you have no control over it.

They'll leave you if they find someone better, that's life. Wouldn't you do the same? Being in an exclusive relationship doesn't guarantee that she'll stay with you. People in exclusive relationships and marriages leave their spouse all the time if they find someone better.



8. An approach a day keeps the guru away.

Reading/listening to advice on how to meet and attract woman is awesome, but if you're not applying it in real life then it's meaningless.

Just take what little thing you need and then go out and apply it. if you have TOO much material in your head you'll suffer from analysis paralysis.
Analysis paralysis is caused when you either have too much material in your head to work with... or too little. Analysis paralysis actually refers to over-analyzing (or over-thinking) a situation.

Having too little material in your head brings uncertainty, your mind will come up with various excuses to not approach: "I don't know what to say", "I don't know how to start an interaction", "I certainly don't know how to get her number".

This is easily solved, read an ebook and get out there and practice. Only read 1 ebook, not 10... Now I can hear you say: "But Coldman, wait a minute, isn't it better for me to know EVERY technique and method there is out there before putting myself at risk of getting rejected?".

No, my young padawan.... because:
Having too much material in your head will make your thought pattern go all over the place: "Should I go indirect/direct?", "What to do after that? Should I use cocky & funny, push/pull? Should I tease/neg her? Should I ask where she's from and then use deep connection to build rapport with her?", etc.

After a while backwards rationalization will set in and your mind will go: "I think she's hot and I want to talk to her, and yet here I am not approaching.. what's going on? Oh... I must have approach anxiety." And thus reinforcing that belief.

Quote:

Cognitive dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding conflicting ideas simultaneously. A classical example of this idea (and the origin of the expression "sour grapes") is expressed in the fable The Fox and the Grapes by Aesop. In the story, a fox sees some high-hanging grapes and wishes to eat them. When the fox is unable to think of a way to reach them, he surmises that the grapes are probably not worth eating, as they must not be ripe or that they are sour. This example follows a pattern: one desires something, finds it unattainable, and reduces one's dissonance by criticizing it.

Source: wikipedia.org


This is why people often say they have approach anxiety, when in fact they are suffering from analysis paralysis.
Btw, have you ever had the thoughts: "Hey she's hot, I want to approach her... fuck I have approach anxiety. Oh well, she wasn't that hot anyway." It's the same thing. It's easier to live with the fact that she wasn't that hot anyway than with the fact that you're letting your fears hold you back.

Analysis Paralysis is almost always caused by reading too much from various Pick-up guru's that all have different methods to how they seduce woman. I'm not saying there is only 1 Master pickup artist that has a method that works... but it would be very wise to not read everything before actually going out and practicing. And with practicing I mean grasping the fundamentals; open, flirting (e.g. Getting to a moment of: I like you and you like me) and closing.
Any method will have these fundamentals, I can almost guarantee it. Only after grasping this should you attempt to perfect your game by mixing different PUA styles together and eventually make your own style that is congruent with your personality.

So let the field be your teacher. By getting experience from the field, instead of an ebook. This is what I mean when I say: "an approach a day keeps the guru away."

Also remember that you never regret doing an approach. Only the ones you didn't.



9. I always have to be 'on'

Sometimes I would see an amazing girl right outside my house on my way to work, and I just wouldn't be in the mood, or just wasn't feeling it.
I felt like I always had to be 'on', and always in a good happy vibe in order to succeed with woman. Else what's the point in trying?
First of, let me say that it has detrimental effects on your own self-esteem. Because later in the day I would always think about it and think to myself: "Fuck, I was such a pussy, I should've just said hi". But that was because NOW I was awake and in a good happy state.
It's like my first example, sometimes you feel like you can do anything, and sometimes you feel like you're worth shit. Realizing that it's just a mental state you're in and it doesn't determine how your interaction will go.
Just by going over and saying 'hi', you'll instantly shoot yourself in a social vibe. Just the adrenaline of actually going over will wake you the fuck up.

This need to always be 'on' wasn't just with the initial approach either. It was also with girls I was seeing. I always felt like I had to be in the best vibe I could be in. I could never feel down or unhappy about something. This took A LOT of energy.
I had interactions go awful and still get a date, and I had interactions go amazing and get a flake.
What I realized was that once she understand what you're about, and has an overall feeling about you (and your vibe), you can fuck-up a couple of times.
If she likes you it's HARD to change that and vice versa. Take the pressure off yourself. As long as you don't pop out of the sexual/relationship frame, you'll be fine.
A quick course on frames: Frames are underlying tones on how the interaction is viewed. They are defined by how you treat other people. If you're really sexual with a girl and she accepts it, then she'll see you as a sexual being. The longer you've stay that way, the harder it is to pop-out of that frame.

Now in order to stay in that sexual frame you have to keep showing you're sexual. And the longer she knows you, the less frames you have to put up, because you're not going to pop-out of it easily.
Sexual frames are pretty much stuff you say/do that you wouldn't do with female friends. Hand caressing (and caressing in general), kissing, saying sexual/romantic stuff.
Always ask yourself: "Can she interpret this as me being 'just' a friend?", if so then it's not a sexual frame.

People aren't aware of this but frames are set all the time, it's inevitable to avoid it. Whether it's a creepy frame, friendly frame, sexual frame, relationship frame, etc.

Frames are personal. This is why guys can think they have a shot with a girl (sexual frame), and the girl just sees them as friends (friendly frame).
What happened here is the guy put up friendly frames when he thought he was being clear about his sexual desire. Though because frames are personal she misinterpreted them as friendly frames.



10. There are no mistakes

Have you ever felt stupid when you told a girl a joke and she didn't laugh? We've all been there. It doesn't mean that you completely fucked up. It just meant that she didn't understand what you were trying to convey.
If the goal in pickup is to connect with people and basically saying: "Look, we have the same worldview". Than a mistake like the one above would be a disconnect.
Have you ever said something sexual to a girl, for instance: "I want to take you home and eat your pussy for 2 hours straight", and she got offended/shocked? That's another disconnect. You weren't at the same level of interest. Imagine saying the same thing to your wife that you've been married to for 5 years. She would be excited, turned on, and happy. Because you have the same level of interest.
It wasn't what you said that was the mistake, it was just uncalibrated. She wasn't at the same level as you. That's why it's a disconnect. Maybe if you said it 1 hour later she would be excited, cause you gave her time to get on the same interest level and NOW it's appropriate and calibrated.

Disconnects and calibration go hand in hand.

These disconnects are detrimental at the first few minutes of the interaction, but later you can make more and more, because she's more invested in the interaction.
The more attractive/value you are to her, the more mistakes (disconnects) you can make.

It's like you tell a joke to your close friends and they don't think it's funny, do they stop wanting to be your friend now? No... because they've known you for so long and are heavily invested. Also because they are your friends for so long, you're more than likely have connected on many other levels. 1 disconnect doesn't change much.

This is also the reason why you don't have to be 'on' all the time. Because the more she knows you, and the more she's invested, the harder it is to break her perception of you and the overall frame of the interaction.



11. If something's difficult to say, lead up to it.

When I started going direct, I had a really hard time with it. Saying filthy sexual things was nerve-wracking to me. Though I found a little trick to help make it a little easier.

Whenever I was about to say something that was scary (even just approaching), I would lead up to it.
Things like: "Hey... I have to tell you something", or "Hey... I'm wondering..."
Now when she's staring you right into your eyes, not only are you building suspense, but now you're fucked. As her mouth opens and she asks: "What is it?".
You've just cornered yourself. You can either run off like a little sissy, or say what you wanted to say.

I noticed that I wouldn't get anxiety or any negative emotion when I just said: "I have to tell you something", then after that I just followed through with what I had to say.

Me: Hey... I'm wondering...
Her: yes?
Me: What are you gonna do about the fact that I want to fuck you?


12. You're a sexual being, don't hide it.

Whenever I tried to get girls on dates, or even approach them. I would always hide the fact that I was attracted to them and I wanted to do filthy and naughty things with them.
Now going up to a girl and saying: "Hey, I want to fuck you", is totally uncalibrated. You don't know if she's a psychopath and cuts your dick off when you show it. So get to know her first.
But when she agrees to go on a date with you, and you're both there. You both want to have sex with each-other. You're both sexual beings. Trying to hide it is just stupid and rude.
I would always try to be really coy with my touchings, and give excuses as to why I was escalating and doing things: "Oh, yeah... I have to show you something awesome, but it's in my bedroom... come see."

This is stupid and insults the womans intellect. She knows you want to fuck her, why else would you go on a date with her? Just lead her into the bedroom and have sex. She wants it too. Stop trying to hide it.



13. Eye contact + silence = golden

I always knew it was good, but 60 Years of Challenge really hit it home for me.
It does 2 amazing things: It baits her into investing. Silence is pretty uncomfortable, so she feels the need to fill it.
But also, it allows for massive sexual tension to become present.
Sexual tension isn't something you have to create, it exists naturally between a man and a woman. You can only diminish it by:
- Saying something stupid (acting clunky)
- Saying too much (nervous)
- Being too friendly/nice/apologetic (too much comfort)

Sexual tension is present when there's a gap between what you want to do, and what you can actually do at the time. Imagine 2 people wanting to fuck eachothers brains out. They both know it. But they're in a public bar. The situation won't allow it, so the sexual tension will be MASSIVE.

By being silent and letting mother nature do it's work sexual tension will by definition be present, because you both want sex and there's a gap. Just don't break the gap by doing the above stuff (talking too much, etc).



14. Her investment and your escalation is the key to any succesful pickup

Pickup is a two-way street. You can do whatever technique you want, but if she's not investing then you're not going to get anywhere. Her investment is basically her escalation on you. It's the yin to the yang.
Your approach is your escalation, then you initiate and hold the conversation, then it's her time to invest. Then you keep pushing forward, while letting her invest too. Until you get to the bedroom.

If she likes you, she'll be intrigued and will invest in the interaction (drag the conversation on, ask you questions, etc).


This brings me to my last point.



15. Game is a myth

Game, by definition, is a myth. Learning how to do tricks and techniques to change woman's perception and feelings towards you is impossible.
Girls either like you, or don't. Period. No matter what awesome game you spit.

I've noticed that whenever I thought I was doing amazing game to win over a girl, they actually already liked me at the beginning.
I thought: "Fuck yeah, my game is awesome, first she was really quiet, and then I did the cube and this and that, and now she's really investing, she likes me now"
Truth is, she already liked me. But whenever people meet new people they always are a bit stand offish at first. or shy. This has nothing to do with how good my "game" was.

It doesn't matter HOW you approach, from what angle, or HOW you set up the date, or HOW you escalate on her once she's in your house. What's important is that you just do it.
If she wants it, she'll accept your escalation/advances no matter HOW you do it (Smooth or not).

The reason sexual frames work, is because you're putting the focus on you and her. And you're saying to her: "Look... I like you... I'm thinking about kissing you".

You don't have AWESOME "game", you only put out sexual frames and hope that she goes for them too and reciprocates. If she likes you and concurs with the frame, she'll accept it and you can proceed the interaction.

So stop trying to spit amazing game and just fucking go out and find girls that you think are awesome and reciprocate that feeling.

One step beyond "baiting her to invest"

I've noticed that baiting a girl to invest, either verbally or physically, is a great way for her brain to make her like you more. She's doing all these things for you, thus, she'll backwards rationalize that she must like you a lot. This has all to do with the cognitive dissonance theory in psychology.

Cognitive Dissonance is caused when a person holds two or more conflicting or contradictory beliefs about the self. When this is experienced, it causes a person so much discomfort that they will typically rationalize one belief away.

For example, a woman you have approached and attracted suddenly finds herself wanting to go to bed with you, but this conflicts with her idea of being a good girl or at least not a slut.

Or, a woman that's doing all sorts of verbal or physical stuff to a guy she barely knows. She'll backwards rationalize that yes... she must indeed like you, very much (depending on the level of investment).

If she's investing on her own... awesome. Most girls, however, will not. So you're going to have to BAIT them to invest.

How to bait girls to invest?

• Any basic form of qualification ("I like adventurous girls, whats the most adventurous thing you've done lately?")
• Telling her what you like so she can do that certain thing.
• Have her tell you a joke ("I like your humor, beautiful woman rarely tell me jokes... what's your favorite joke?)
• Bring something forward that she's already done, but frame it so that it looks like she has done it for you. ("Those heels look amazing. I know they must hurt like hell, but that's cool cause your legs and ass look amazing because of them. And it's cool that you're wearing those.... for me. :) So as a man I'd just like to say... thank you for doing that for me.")
• Give her an easy way to physically escalate on you;

• Give her half-a-hug and then tell her she's giving you a lousy half-a-hug back.

• "Hey, are you a giver or a taker? Both (or giver)? Awesome, cause you look like you give great hand massages."

I've said this in earlier blog posts, and yes, it's awesome. However when doing this I was forgetting one key element that goes beyond "baiting her to invest". I mean, I always knew this, but I never knew exactly HOW to do it.

The thing I was forgetting was to REWARD her investment properly to encourage her to invest more.

This is basic psychology applied to pickup. Imagine little kids doing something good and getting a reward for it, you'll motivate them to do that certain behavior more. If the little kid is doing something bad, you either punish it or ignore it. (Ignore it when it comes to pickup)

How should you reward her?
Basically anything that makes her feel GOOD. The level of her investment should almost be equal to your reward.

• If she's telling you awesome stories, she's investing verbally, then your smile/laughs and warm energy should make her feel good.
• If she's caressing you, or any other high level investment, then you could caress her back (her back/arms/legs/hands/hair/etc), gently tug her hair, or anything of that nature. (She's investing by deliberate sexual touch, you have to reward it in the same way or more)

Quick note on rewards: If you've been doing something ALL THE TIME, then rewarding her with that behavior isn't sufficient. It has to be something NEW, or in any case an enhanced version of your behavior. It HAS to make her brain go: "Ah... I did this, and then he did this awesome thing in return... I want more of that. So I'm going to invest more."

Why should you encourage her to invest more into the interaction?
Simple, like I said before; she'll like you more. It will also allow you to escalate more (by rewarding her back). And... well, it just feels good when girls physically escalate on you. :)

Encourage particular behaviors you do want (using positive reinforcement), and she'll be investing a lot more into the interaction. Making your job much easier and more fun.

The 50% Rule by Mark Manson (aka Entropy)

The 50% Rule is simple, yet the ramifications for improvement are huge. The rule states this:

At least 50% of your advances towards women should be rejected. If less than 50% are rejected, then you are not being aggressive enough.

Take a moment and think about that. The implications run pretty deep. This means that 50% of your approaches should be rejected, 50% of your attempts to kiss should be rejected, 50% of your phone numbers should flake, 50% of your attempts to get her into bed should be stopped.

Now you probably think I’m crazy. You WANT us to get rejected? Either that, or you’re saying something like, “Oh, way more than 50% of my advances are rejected, and it sucks.”

Here’s why the 50% rule is important: too many guys play it safe, too many guys aren’t aggressive enough. Too many guys wait for the “right” moment and end up passing up plenty of opportunities. If rejection didn’t matter, then you’d take every opportunity, right? That’s what we should be striving for. Let me provide just a few examples where the 50% Rule can come into play and seriously help a guy out.

• A guy who always waits for the “perfect” moment to kiss a girl. He passes up tons of opportunities, but he never gets rejected either.
• A guy who passes up approaching tons of attractive women because they have an iPod on, they’re in an elevator, they’re walking the other way, or they’re with other guys. He waits for women who he knows are easy to approach instead and avoids the rejection.
• The guy who only calls phone numbers of girls he knows really liked him, not bothering with the women who seemed to give him their number out of politeness.
• Not trying to bring a woman home because he doesn’t want to seem rude. Instead he waits for next time, when often there isn’t a next time (and often there isn’t because he didn’t take her to the bedroom!)

But going a level deeper, the 50% Rule doesn’t just condition a guy to become more aggressive, it’s a tool that guarantees constant improvement, because it applies to any guy, no matter what his experience level. Some guys get decent with women, and get to the point where they rarely approach but rarely get rejected, they rarely get turned down on kisses or sex, but they rarely try. This rule applies to me just as much as it applies to the next guy. If I’m able to pick up every woman I approach, then I’m doing something WRONG, not right. I’m not being aggressive enough. I’m playing it too safe, and I’m leaving a lot of opportunity on the table.

Your brain WILL fuck you up

Your brain WILL fuck you up, all these negative beliefs, negative thoughts that hold you back. Don't fucking listen to it, it's NOT YOU. Do what you want, without holding back. Just don't think about it, your brain is your biggest enemy. JUST DO IT.

Whatever you want to say, say it.
Whatever you want to do, do it.

Your mind is just a display of conditioning of your past, of thoughts, of things people have told you, things you've read, your own idea's, things you've watched on TV.... all of which changes.

Think back 10 years and you'll probably think; "Well, I thought I knew what was going on then, but now I'm 10 years older and now I REALLY know what's going on"

But of course, in another 10 years you'll feel like what you knew now was very immature.

We're constantly growing, therefore to trust your own mind is a mistake.

From: The Way of the Superior Man (by David Deida)

Recent example I have: I was in class, scared of going for the It's On Moment (which basically is Mutual Hand Caressing), I was thinking about grabbing this chick's hand and playing with it. But....my brain was having an inner struggle:
- "JUST GO FOR IT MAN, GO FOR IT."
# "No, don't do it, what if other people see it? What if the teacher sees it. THEY'LL DRAW ATTENTION TO IT!"
- "JUST GO FOR IT MAN, ESCALATION HAS ALWAYS ENDED UP WELL FOR YOU"
# "No, don't do it... what if she rejects you? What if... what if... WHAT IF..."
- "JUST FUCKING DO ITTTTTTTTTTTT"
# "Okay, you know what, when she places her hand real close, THAT'S when you do it.. okay?"

Finally, my brain was compromising and got to a mutual agreement. I'm gonna do it.

- "Alright, you've had your way, her hands are relatively close to yours... fucking do it now!"
# "Nono, wait.. what if she thinks you're weird and you blow it with her?"
- "Dude... escalation is the way forward, even if she rejects you, you're still moving FORWARD. JUST DO IT"
# "Nonono, butbutbutbut, what if, what if, what if"


In the end I said: "Fuck you brain", and just did it. It took me a good 15-30 minutes. And I didn't concentrate at the class that was giving, I was just listening to my brain arguing.

So I did it anyway... and she reciprocated, started playing with my hands too. It was awesome.

School Camp

School camp was awesome!

I'm okay with leading perfect strangers. Some examples: When playing soccer I instantly took charge and told them what I wanted to do: "Alright, let's play 'tienen'" *to the group*. And then some people said alright let's do that, some people disagreed and wanted to play something else, but what's important is that I instantly led the interaction.
Led during the scavenger hunt; walked in front, took the map, saying let's go here, let's do this.

It all comes naturally now.

I held back "game"-wise, (they are still classmates, don't want to be the "weird" dude). This means that I didn't go direct with words like "sexy", etc. Though after getting to know some girls I still said it. Just not TOO soon, on opener. Not sure if I ever will go direct on campus... I mean, school is like social circle, do you ever go cold approach direct at a house party? That just seems fucking weird to me. Plus reputation is a huge thing in school, I think. How to incorporate "not giving a fuck", with being careful about what people think about my reputation? Hmmm, still not sure. Maybe just do what's familiar and what has worked in the past, and stay away from the more risky "game" stuff. Leave that stuff for clubs/streets. In other words; calibrate.


My openers were indirect/situational. Was comfortable in every conversation. Comfortable with silence, other people filled in the void. And basically just let conversation come to me, saying whatever was on my mind. Commenting on surroundings. Making jokes whenever they arose. (People not laughing at my jokes is a HUGE turn off for me... my jokes are funny, you just don't share the same humor, it's okay. :))

My openers were stuff like:
- *after a teacher spoke* "What did he just say?"
- "Hey, do you know what we're eating tonight?"
- "What's on the agenda for today/tomorrow"
- "Would you happen to have a cigarette for me?"


Topics we talked about: Relationships/sex, hobbies/aspirations, what's going on at camp (how they liked the scavenger hunt for example), vacations, etc

At times I just decided to say: "fuck my current group", and just sit with a random group of girls (IT'S NOT WEIRD). This was awesome as it expanded the range of people I know. Plus it allowed me to not get into that dreaded zone where you go to camp, and only know a bunch of guys/geeks and stick to them the whole way through (and even through school)

Overall my objectives were met. Socialize with hot chicks. I didn't force anything (cold approach), I could/should have done it (indirect/situational approach), but I'm still satisfied with the way things worked out;
Made some awesome friends, collected numbers at the end, could have fucked a cute chick if she didn't have a boyfriend (who knows, maybe someday if the sexual tension stays present and we're in a room 1on1, pretty positive I could break her in that situation haha, dunno if I want to break up a happy 2 year relationship) and got a dinner-date pretty soon with a cool/hot/single chick.

With dinner-date girl, I also kept making roleplays/references like: "These houses here look awesome, we should go live here". And she mentioned she had a mosquito problem, so I said to her: "Alright cool, remind me to bring lemons when I sleep over, else I won't survive the night." (In the back of my mind if she objected I could've went direct: "Yes, eventually we're going to fuck.", or the better route in that situation would've been to say: "Yeah, after you give an awesome party, I don't wanna go home, so I'm gonna stay over, if you don't mind ;)", with no sexual intent there, obviously). But she didn't object/say anything, so..... even better. :)

How I setup the dinner date:
This whole conversation might look a bit boring in text, but the overall vibe was awesome, we had a lot of fun talking and the bus trip just flew by. One fatal mistake I made was not saying WHEN, but it just kinda flew by as: someday we'll have a dinner-date. (Not good)

Anyway, I wanted to say to her: "Let's say we have a relationship, for like 6 months, and my friends came over for dinner, what would you cook for them?", NOT as a pickup qualifying technique or whatever, I was generally curious, because.... well, I love food. But it's fucking weird to just say this out of the blue... so I took a couple of minutes to think on how to set it up so it isn't weird... and I'm a fucking genius, it went like this:

Me: "Hey, so you live by yourself... you must be a pretty good cook then?"
Her: "Obviously... you kinda have to if you live on your own"
Me: "Well, not necessarily, maybe you live on microwaved dinners or something, I dunno"
Her: "hahaha"
Me: "I suppose that IS really unhealthy though..."
Her: "Yeah :P"
Me: "Alright, so you say you're an awesome cook.... let's say we had a relationship and have been together for 6 months... and my friends came over for dinner, what would you cook them?"
Her: "uuhh... I dunno.... depends what mood I'm in, what your friends like to eat, etc"
Me: "Hmmm... alright, well these guys are my best friends, how would you impress them?"
Her: "Still dunno :o"
Me: "Alright haha, let me say it in a different way, let's say we're celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary, how would you impress ME? What would you cook?"
Her: "Well... I dunno what you like... so?"
Me: "That's true... but I'm just curious as to what is like your specialty... the best dish you can make ;)"
Her: "Hmmm... Lasagna!"
Me: "Awesome! I love Lasagna.... it's hard to make though"
Her: "Not really, how hard is it to make Lasagna? haha"
Me: "Well, some people make like Lasagna soup, and some people use too little sauce and it's too dry. And then some make it so it has no flavor to it."
Her: "Well, yeah I suppose you're right, yeah haha"
*some silence*
Me: "Man.... you got me hungry for Lasagna now!"
Her: "Haha"
Me: "You know I'm going to have to taste that awesome Lasagna you make now, right?"
Her: "Haha, yeah! :P"
Me: "Or we could just make it together... as in a date ;)"
Her: "Yeah, sure, sounds cool ;)"


I'm a fucking genius.

An approach a day keeps the guru away.

It's true.

Crazy adventures in Spain

You're NEVER, and I mean NEVER, going to belief what has happened to me in the last few days.

First of, greetings from Spain, a country I will crown as having one of the hottest woman.

So, on to my story, I went out and went to a bunch of different clubs until I've reached one with loads of hot woman, from the start they were all very wild, crazy dancing, so I got myself over there and started dancing with this very hot Spanish chick. Immediately I start to curl my hands in hers, kinoing, all that good stuff, and we start to makeout. So after a while I say to her: ''Quiero coger tu culo, porque te amo'' (I want to fuck you in the ass, because I love you), she goes: ''wow, that's very direct!'', I was like: ''yea well... You're hot so...'', we start to dance more and I say to her: ''You want to get out of here to mine?''. And she goes: ''No..... But uhhh how you say, bathroom?''.
Me: ''Sure, let's go!'' and I start leading her.

At this point I was still in denial. It can't be this easy, she must've meant something else.

We arrive at the bathroom and we make out more and I'm thinking: ''Fuck, she didn't come here for nothing'' and I start unbuttoning her pants and well.... Need I say more?

So not only did I pull my first SNL in under 5 minutes with a very hot Spanish chick (exactly my type, nice ass, slim body, cute face) that I know nothing about other than her name, in a public bathroom in the club, but...

.... That's not even the crazy part, it gets better.

The next day we text back and forth, and I try to meetup with her. She wants it too (I was expecting a flake due to the quickness of the SNL,,etc).

So the whole night we're texting back and forth but she kept saying stuff like: ''oh, I'm dancing with friends now, sorry'', So at the end of the night while walking home I decided fuck it, I'm calling her. She picked up and was excited, told me where to go. So me and my friend start walking back towards the club. (yeah, my friend too, I thought if I'm getting pussy then so is he :p)

And when we get there all the clubs are closed, she's waiting outside with 2 of her female friends and 1 male. We say hello, I kiss my girl and we start walking along the coast of the beach. After a while they sent the other guy home, so now it was me, my friend bv and 3 spanish chicks. At this point they kept talking in Spanish, but man, some words are just easy to understand in English too.

Her friend said I should show my abs, and she was like: yea, very.. Nice! (I don't even work out and have NO sixpack at all). So I went: ''I like your friend'' and she misinterpreted and shouted excitedly: ''He likes me? Oohhh! Trio trio!''. I'm like, wait.. Did she just say threesome?

So I told my girl, no, I didn't mean it like THAT, I don't want a threesome.

So we kept walking and I don't know wtf happened but these chicks were talking in Spanish and the only words I could make out were: ''Trio'' and ''Orgy sa la playa'' (playa = beach)

My friend and I kept highfiving each other and kept thinking we were both dreaming and that we would wake up any minute, because like... Well... Wtf?

Both of these days I didn't use any game, just kino and 3D escalation I suppose.

So anyway, we got to a quiet area on the beach and they start kissing each other, they start kissing us. And somehow I landed myself in a foursome or orgy or I dunno wtf this is.

Okay well that's the cool and crazy part and I don't think anyone will believe it, but, it's a very true story. I'm still wet from the shower I took to get the sand out of my butt-cheeks and dick.

Now here comes the sucky part..... It was such a high pressure situation, with the sand being everywhere and the multiple people and all, that I couldn't get it up (only semi erect). And the fact that they kept saying stuff like: "bla bla bla disfunctionale!" and laughing didn't help either. They kept trying though, bless their hearts, kept sucking my dick, stroking, kissing, etc. But, no dice.

Oh well..... I still had a crazy time, awesome adventure and a story that will beat anyone else's story at a cocktail party.

Plus it was still fun to have 2 girls suck my dick while I look over to the left and see my friend fucking this other Spanish chick.

Priceless...

The Right Mindset by Sinn

People often talk ask me what my mindset is about meeting girls, dating, pick up etc...

So I figured I should write a post about what I believe to be the perfect mindset for getting better at pickup.

Ready for it?

You have to not care, but still do the approaches.

And this is where the difficulty comes in.

Most guys who are reading this care too much. They think that getting a girlfriend or being able to get laid regularly is magically going to fix their lives and make them happy. Or they believe the marketing hype that they can get amazing results with women quickly with no time effort or energy and they care about getting the results they were promised. Or they get competitive or make getting women some sort of measurement of how successful of a guy they are and they have to be better then this guy or get X amount of girls into bed a month.

The point is they(You and me) care about this shit too much.

If you took the average guy off the street and asked him on a 1-100 scale how much he cares about getting laid more than he is right now, the majority of them would say 51% they would prefer to get laid more than they are versus the alternative, but they aren't willing to put the time effort and energy into it.

If you took the average guy who is involved in this stuff they would say 85-90%. Or in other words getting more girls or getting laid is THE most important thing in their lives.

This is a mindset that is going to fail you both in the short term and the long term. In the short term Pickup is hard in the beginning and if it's the most important thing in your life, you're going to be failing at what you consider the most important thing in the world which will make you feel bad. In the long term it makes you either hugely bitter (If you never get success) or feel like your entire life and whole sense of self worth is directly related to whether or not a stranger likes you...

Hopefully the past few paragraphs have illustrated why you shouldn't care so much about this stuff. Take it for what it is one of MANY different ways to meet women. There is no prize for being great at cold approach, nor does anyone other than YOU care about your sex life.

But if you stop caring completely then why even approach? Why not just continue to sit on the couch and waste away?

So how do you reconcile these two ideas into the right mindset?

You care about trying.

That's it.

You only need to care that you are actually making an effort. If you're making an effort and the results aren't coming, you can feel good knowing you did your best. You don't have to be perfect with women or some sort of "master pick up artist" all you have to do is care about trying, do the approaches and not worry about the rest.

JS-The King Of Content

Practicing daygame did wonders for my nightgame

This night was SO much fun, I kept saying: "I hope it never ends.", still not sure why. But I think it has to do with the fact that I wasn't filtering myself. And wasn't thinking about "Game", or thinking about how I suck for not approaching anyone.

Used halfahug a lot of times. It's still gold.
Eye contact + blank stare + silence = still golden.
Screening for good logistics = still gold.
I don't know why, but this line is awesome: "At first I thought you were X, but I was totally wrong! You're awesome."
    X = boring, unfriendly, prude, etc

So I started off getting free entrance and I walked off somewhere thinking all my friends were following me, but they didn't. So I was alone on the dancefloor dancing. Started randomly pointing at girls and singing to the lyrics. One girl very receptive so I just started dancing in their group. It looked like I was there with them. (I didn't really care, dancing alone is pretty fun)
No one was really hot though, so I was just kinda dancing, having fun.
===========================
So as I was walking around and I kinda got eye contact with this girl as I was walking past, and it was rude of me not to say anything...
Me: "Hey!"
and then this came out for some reason... because it was true:
Me: "I lost my friends!... well if you lose your friends you gotta make new ones right? I'm Coldman"
Her: "I'm blablabla"
Me: "Cool, so who are you here with?"
Her: "These girls here!"
Me: "Awesome... so what's like your most awesome passion?"
Her: "My passion is my boyfriend"
Me: "Awesome... but besides your boyfriend what's your passion?"
Her: "It's still my boyfriend..."
*At this point her friend who was sitting next to her interjects, tapped me and introduced herself*
*Started the IOM, and all throughout the interaction I was curling my fingers in hers, stroking her hands, etc... she didn't reciprocate"
*The whole interaction I played with her hands, put them on my body, got in close, put my hands on her hips/lower back and repeated the process*
Me: "Who are you here with?"
Her: "Ohh just these guys here! And you? Who are YOU here with?"
Me: "This awesome guy behind you!"
Me: "Hey dude, I'd like to introduce you to someone."
*introduced them to eachother... and no, he wasn't some random dude haha, he was actually 1 of the guys I came with*
Me: "So yeah, this guy, and there are some more friends I've lost outside somewhere... actually, we should go look for them together. Let's go"
*She was very compliant and wanted to go, but her friend held her back and they got to talking*

Me *interjects and started talking to the friend: "Hey, so me and your friend are just gonna go check out that lamp over there... we'll be right back, 10 seconds."
Her friend: "Nooooo, I'm not leaving her alone with you!"
Me: "Awesome... I like you already... cause you hang out with cool people, and you're very protective of them... I like that. But we'll be right back, 10 seconds, I swear."
Her friend: "Nooo, I'm coming with her."
Me: "Alright cool... of course you can come along too. Let's go! Btw, look out for us while we're walking in case we get attacked by ninja's."
Her friend *Puzzled look*: "Ninja's? haha okay :P"
*Not the best case scenario, but I didn't win over the friend yet, I got them moving though, awesome, 3D escalation.*

So I was walking in front while holding my girls hands, put them on my chest while walking.
As we were walking I said to her: "I think you're really cool, and it's a shame that I have a rule that I don't makeout in bars, else I'd totally kiss you right now. But hey, it's a rule I have."
Her: "Well isn't that a good thing? :D"
I didn't respond, I just went silent and looked at her.... gotta love it. ;)
*Started walking again, came outside, so at this point it was a group of 4 people; Me, my friend, my girl, and her friend*

Me: "So how do you guys know eachother? I bet you're like bff's."
Them: "Yeaa, we've known eachother from school blablabla"
*Some talk about school/passions to my girl*
Me to my girl's friend: "You know, I still think it's awesome, you're very protective of your friend, I really like that."
blablabla
Her: "So how old are you anyway?"
Me: "Probably too old for you haha" *while turning my body away from her for a split second while saying it, I was doing it as sort of a tease/takeaway*
"I don't know why this came out, maybe because I got so much compliance that I knew that it would get her chasing more?"
Her friend: "She's seventeen!"
Me: "Well there you go! I'm 21 :o"
blablabla
Me: "So how did you get here?"
- By public transport, taking the bus back home to the same location that I had to go too.

Me whispering in my girl's ear: "Hey, so you know what I want to do with you... we'll go to vegas, get married under mini elvis, and the next day I'll divorce you and take half your shit"
Me: "Got anything awesome at home?"
Her: "No :P"
Me: "A cool tv?"
Her: "No :P"
Me: "A Nintendo Wii?"
Her: "No :P"
Me: "Alright, well you gotta have a kitchen... I'll take that in the divorce"
Her: "hahaha my kitchen?!"
Me: "Yeah... and guess what you can have.... ALL MY BILLS!"
Her: "haha, we just met and you're already talking about getting married?! :P"
Me: "Of course... and a divorce... we're gonna have a quick romance."
Me to her friend: "So me and your friend really like eachother... are you cool with that?" *while hugging my girl*
Her friend: "Uuuhh.. Yeah... sure.. why not."

Some more talk, they were gonna go at this point, so instead of plowing through (which I can now see was a mistake to NOT do, even though I totally had nothing left to say.) I went for the numberclose.
Me: "Lemme grab your number, cause you're cute and I want to see you again. And when it's time to go home we'll grab that bus together ;)"
#numberclose
Her friend said something, can't remember what, to which I replied: "Oh... I'm just gonna start stalking her and call her 3 times a day, but that's about it."
Her friend: "Oooh haha, well if that's all, then fine :P"

Her friend: "So aren't you going to buy her a drink?"
lol wtf? Totally unexpected. Maybe she wanted to grab a free drink before they went off, or maybe she was trying to wing me... but I doubt it, cause throughout the interaction she was being a massive cockblock.
Me: "Uhhhh... sure, when I meet you guys later I promise I'll buy her a drink"
*Now thinking back, I should've bought her a slapshot... not sure if her friend would like it though if I did it in front of her. It would've been awesome nonetheless.*
*Also, buying her a drink allowed for more 3D escalation, and some more time to think of more stuff to say/do.*
===========================
*A girl had to pass through to get to her friends.*
Me: "Sure, but you have to introduce yourself first, else you can't pass"
*Started the IOM, and all throughout the interaction I was curling my fingers in hers, stroking her hands, etc... she didn't reciprocate"
*The whole interaction I played with her hands, put them on my body, got in close, put my hands on her hips/lower back and repeated the process*
Me: "You look like you lost your friends"
her: "No I didn't, they are right over there actually." *points in the distance*
her *out of the blue*: "I WANT TO GO DANCE" *drags me to the dance floor*
lol wtf? That's never happened to me before. Pretty awesome. She was leading me to the dancefloor while holding hands.

Me: "Wow, you're so sexy, if I hadn't just met you I would totally kiss you right now... I have a rule though, I don't kiss in bars." (Saying it while touching her cheek with mine, because it was so damn loud in there)
*At this point I didn't really want to dance*
me: "Come here" *Led her back outside again*
blablabla (talk about logistics/school/passions)
- A friend of hers drove her there

I was mostly just being silent and looking in her eyes, at one point she blurted out: "You're really cute!" to fill the silence... awww I like compliments :)

And at this point I fucked up... I don't know why, but I wanted a makeout lol, she was really hot. Maybe to boost my ego, or maybe to show off to my friends... or maybe because the sexual tension was so high that I just totally wanted to taste her sexy lips.
So... I walked her off to a corner outside the club and basically said "Well... my rule was that I don't makeout in bars... but technically we're not IN a bar anymore, and went in for the kiss (The gap wasn't very far to kiss her because we were already standing really close, touching eachother.)"
The makeout was not too long, and not too short. Like 30 seconds I think.
Afterwards I kinda picked up on my (obvious) mistake and told her: "I hope no one saw that... I like being discreet", etc
At this point I should've sat down and do strawberry fields. But it didn't came to mind at the time.
She had to get back to her friends so I numberclosed her and we agreed to meetup later in the night.
I also forgot to ask her plans for later. Damn. I should've tried to go for the pull?
===========================
Spotted 2 gorgious girls, I think it was the only one that I approached intentionally throughout the night from across the room. Asked for them to take a picture of me and my friends. And then afterwards started talking to her.
Me: "Hey, I'm Coldman btw"
Her: "blabla I have a boyfriend", saying it with a straight and whiny face... she definitely was not interested.
Me: "Awesome... yeah my boyfriend is over there as well."
Me: "So how do you guys know eachother?"
Her ignoring me, playing with her phone.
Me: "Btw, you TOTALLY SUCK at making photo's... you're like the worst photographer EVER! haha it's all black and there was no flash!"
*Note: My phone doesn't have a flash*
Me: "I give you a 4 out of 10 at making pictures."
Her still ignoring me.
Me: "Hmmm... I know you don't actually have a text or are doing anything useful on your phone there..."
Her still ignoring me.
Me: "Wouldn't it be so awkward if I were to just stand here throughout the night, saying absolutely nothing?"
Her still ignoring me.
Me *turned to friend*: "Is she always like this?"
Her friend: "She has a boyfriend"
Me: "I never said I wanted to be her boyfriend"
Her friend: "Hey.. let's go"
Me: "Nah, fuck it, you guys stay, I'm gonna go ;) Have a nice night."

This interaction was fun, I had fun just messing around with them.


At one point the bartender came up to us trying to get us to buy drinks. All throughout the conversation I made statements that she's cute, that I liked the flower she had in her hair, and asking for logistics (what time she got off and how she got there, etc), I was also telling her that when she got off work that we would go back to my place lol. She smiled throughout the conversation and wasn't offended at any point. I'm gonna start hitting on bartenders more haha it's fun.

Throughout the night I didn't really approach. I only opened girls that walked past me or that I walked past. But I ALWAYS ALWAYS introduced myself to as many people as I could that were in close proximity.
and all throughout the night I was thinking to myself: Everyone is my friend. Had oneliners with random guys. Stuff like when the music stopped for a second: "Wait for it! It's coming...!" (Him agreeing/smiling)
Was talking to random guys at the bar, screening for logistics? lol (It's so automatic now, who are you here with, etc)

My overall vibe was being playful and teasing, smiling the whole time with a "everyone is my friend"-mentality. I also didn't give a shit and was saying whatever came to mind AND THAT I THOUGHT WAS FUNNY/IMPORTANT TO SAY. (Sometimes random thoughts came into my head and I went: Nah... that's not fun/important, so I let it go.)


I'm still not setting up the date before numberclosing (I forgot), I have a feeling they're gonna flake.
The sexual tension mostly came from nonverbals. Her blurting out: "You're cute", is a definite sign that there is sexual tension present.

The Daygame Blueprint (in-field)

This is where I've learned the most. At first I was coming up WAY too close and creeping girls out, but I slowly realized this. The best feedback you'll get is from the girls themselves. Look at them and see if they're excited or scared. And then see what action you did to cause this.

Anyway, there were 3 days in-field, the 1st day was about getting the approach right. And the last day was actually the same thing, because I kept going for 2 sets and just COULDN'T get them to stop for the life of me... probably because of the stuttering on the opener, due to my crappy English.

Now the 2nd day... was the most awesome of them all, because I requested to be teamed up with Sasha... and I did.

But before I get into the breakdown of it, here are some things I've done right over the course of 3 days IN-FIELD:
- Stopped girls and made them genuinely smile (made their day)
- Approached my first 2 set even after the bootcamp (in my own free time) - AND I got them to stop and she loved it, was actually speechless with a huge smile. I also stayed in there even when I ran out of shit to say and just said the first thing that came to my mouth: "That's... a..... uuhh... lovely.... red dress."
- Approached the first hot girl I saw in the morning when feeling like shit. (This instantly put me into the right happy-go-lucky state. (Important to note that she didn't say anything, basically ignored me and walked off.... but this didn't matter whatsoever)

---------------------------------

In-field with Sasha blew my mind away... I probably learned more in these 2-3 hours than I did over the course of a year. Though I was madly confused at the same time.

I think that if I would've payed all this money for just these 2-3 hours without the whole Daygame Blueprint... then I would still do it.

Here are some of the conversation highlights (Paraphrased from memory, of course):

Me: How do you get to that point of not giving a fuck like you have?
Sasha: On my bootcamp I make guys do crazy shit, like sitting on the sidewalk highfiving everyone. Or going into a Burger King and ordering a Big Mac. After doing stuff like this you stop giving a fuck what people think. And you've just gotta enjoy the awkwardness man, I enjoy watching woman squirm when I make it awkward for them.

Sasha: What Yad and Andy are teaching isn't direct... "You're so cute, I had to come meet you", isn't direct... what the hell is cute... if you see a girl walking on the street then you want to fuck her, if you don't then you're gay.
Sasha: Tell her the truth, tell her she's fucking sexy/hot; "Hey... I have to tell you something, you are so fucking sexy/stunning!".
Sasha: Go in close and whisper in her ear: "You're so fucking sexy, I wanna put my dick in your pussy" and back off... this will make her horny. And it's the truth.
Sasha: Whatever you're learning in there is great for beginners, but it's all based on Yad's style, he's very charismatic, he should be a TV host or something, but most guys aren't like that and it's not gonna work for them. It's bullshit man, you just gotta be direct with woman. Yad basically tricks woman into bed and when he gets them on his bed he then starts escalating with them.

Sasha: Alright, go over to that girl and tell her: "Whoever stood you up is a son of a bitch"
Me: *Opened the girl like Sasha said*
Her: "Oh, haha, I'm not being stood up, but I AM waiting for someone"
Me: "Alright awesome, hmmm... well I just run out of stuff to say"
Her: *blank stare*
Me: "Yeah... hot girls tend to make me nervous"
Her: "Oh... great..." *rolls eyes*
*silence*
Me: "awkwaaaaard"
*silence*
*silence*
*silence*
Me: "Alright, well I'm gonna go... cya"
Me: *To Sasha* Well... that was the most awkward moment of my life.
Sasha: Good, enjoy the awkwardness.

*After opening a girl direct*
Sasha: Yeah, that's good man, but next time smile more... you don't smile enough. Also, don't touch when you go THAT direct, it's TOO much.
Me: Yeah, I noticed the shock in her face haha, I don't even think she meant to go in that store... she just wanted to get away from me.
Sasha: Yeah... I'm not gonna deny that, that's probably true.

Sasha: Alright... you go up to those 2 girls and tell the less attractive one (while maintaining eye contact), that you think her friend looks amazing and if she minds that you flirt with her for a bit. And then, without waiting for a response, introduce yourself to the attractive one.

Me: So after you go direct, then what do you talk about? passion? work?
Sasha: Yeah.. well, those are good. Just get to know her a little bit, what she's up to, is she shopping or meeting up with friends, her work/passions/hobbies.

*After another approach and getting a number*
Sasha: So what do you know about her?
Me: Her name is xxx, she's polish, works in carpenting (it's her passion too), she's heading home
Sasha: and...?
Me: That's it...
Sasha: That's not enough man, you basically don't know anything about her... you had what.. like a 5 minute interaction, that's too short to get a solid number.

Me: I once walked up to a girl and said, "Wanna fuck?", is that direct?
Sasha: Yeah, but it's really uncalibrated... you don't know her. You don't know if she's friendly or whatever.

Me: So if I'm not calibrated, then how soon do you tell girls to fuck them... you like first tell them they're fucking sexy on the opener and then..
Sasha: Dude... stop asking so many questions... you've got like an information overload in your head. Just go out there and stop worrying so much. Stop reading any material, Yad and Andy gave you MORE than enough, just go out there and try it out, and do the stuff that I've said to you earlier.

Me: Do you think the Direct Dating Summit DVD's will help me?
Sasha: uuhh, just do the things I've said to you for now, if you're not ready yet, you're not ready, but eventually everyone will get to do direct game because you don't want to waste time. I don't want to waste my time with a 20 minute conversation that goes nowhere... if she likes you, she likes you. If she doesn't, she doesn't... so what? Some chicks love short bald guys, any amount of game isn't going to change that, so just go direct.

After all this Sasha gave me a nickname... "The Questions Guy".

The Daygame Blueprint

That's right... I went all the way to London from Holland by train to attend this amazing event.

I met some of the most awesome people there:

 

Anthony Paul Johnson

 

Andy Yosha

 

Yad 

Yad (Discussing mad game tactics)

 

Sasha 

(Yes, he's as fun as you would think, but can be quite serious too)

And let me just say right now, that without the in-field training this event wouldn't be worth it. But because it DID have in-field training... this event was amazing. It was just walking down busy streets in London and running up to hot girls and trying to apply all the theory you had gained during the lectures. And whenever you had a question you could ask the training coach you were with.

And sometimes I forget, but now looking back... it was A LOT of fun chasing down girls on the street. Especially when the girls are kinda puzzled at first as to why you are there and after you give them the compliment their face lights up.

But most importantly... It felt amazing just feeling like a MAN and going after what I wanted and not letting fear/excuses hold me back.

Some quick reminders:
- Slow down, don't rush through the opener. (Get them to stop FULLY first)
- FUCKING SMILE
- Talk LOUDER (Presence)

- Go out and become as comfortable as you can be talking to hot girls (Through experience and not giving a fuck)
    - The same kind of comfortable when you're in the shower or in bed.
- State your intent and be (super) direct.
- Speak your mind, don't give a shit.
- Goal is getting to know her. Be genuinely curious about her.
- HAVE FUN
- Don't care about results, go for consistency (Open EVERY hot girl you see, the more you open, the more experience you'll gain)
- Be FED UP with NO results.

50/50 = Mastery. Yad solid closes 50% of the girls he approaches. That's 1 out of 2.

Low motivation to go out? But there could be what happened a few weeks ago... Think about GOOD experiences. And just have fun... find ways that you can enjoy the process.

What is your motivation of doing this? To be able to be FREE and have choice. And allowing other people opportunities and possibilities to be free.

When you don't feel like approaching, and you're not in the mood. It's cause you're thinking about approaching from a different state (usually a low energy, analytic state).
When this happens realize that this is happening, think about it, you've done it before so you CAN do it. And just go for it. I call this stateshooting. You SHOOT yourself into state. The rest of the day there will be almost NO FEAR to approach.
The power of now is basically getting into state (Andy focusses on breathing. Mark sings out loud and moves around a lot, focussing on movement)

Speak like when you're with your friends. Tonality -> Comfortable.

You're awesome and amazing... it's HER lucky day that you approached and chose her.

Preframe:
- I HAVE to tell you something really quickly...
- I know this sounds a bit random, but...
- *On Phone*: Is that important, or can you call right back?

Context:
- I saw you walking here...
- I was there in starbucks and I ran out,
    - Compliment
        - Now my friend is alone in there, being bored, stirring his drink and it's your fault!)
        - Now I'm standing here in the rain, getting wet... because of you.

Compliment:
- I thought you were cute and I HAD to come meet you/say hello/introduce myself.
- You're fucking sexy and I HAD to come meet you/say hello/introduce myself.

On bus/metro (any high pressure situation where she CAN'T leave easily)
Relate to her situation: "I shouldn't be doing this, but..."
Use time constraints: "I've got to go in a second"

Accuse girls of hitting on you.
- Eye contact? She's picturing you naked.

When you tell girls you're NOT hitting on them... you basically ARE, but it's funny. And it can never go wrong.
- Is this seat taken? Okay cool... I'm just gonna sit here cause I like this seat...
    ...I'm not hitting on you... you're hot, but I'm not in the mood today.
    - Well... now I feel like I HAVE to hit on you just to prove I can. So Hi, I'm *name*.

If she smiles and walks away -> ALWAYS RE-APPROACH
If she smiles and walks away -> ALWAYS RE-APPROACH
If she smiles and walks away -> ALWAYS RE-APPROACH

---

DON'T FEAR THE VOID!
DON'T FEAR THE VOID!
DON'T FEAR THE VOID!
(The void is when you run out of stuff to say).
Fearing the void actually allows the void to be there, because you're focussing on it instead of focussing on being spontanious and letting thoughts flow freely. So accept and be okay with running out of stuff to say. Don't fear it, allow the fear to be there and realize it's fine. Your mind will come up with something eventually.

Say whatever comes to mind (it's REAL and in the moment), saying ANYTHING is better than NOTHING. (Silence is good... but to an extend.)
Slow down your talking so you have a longer time to think.

Make assumptions (Look at people and try and make assumptions about them to train this part of your brain)
Ask yourself first: "What does she do?" and then tell her the answer. "You look like..."
Ask yourself:
- What does she do for fun?
- Passions
- Hobbies
- Travel
- Daily Routines
- Where does she live?
- Favourite food
    - How did you discover that?

Write down 5 questions that REALLY interest you.

Always be PLAYFUL during the attraction phase.
Bait her to invest
Roleplays (2set, Devilish/Angelic, on my shoulder arguing like in the cartoons)
Challenge (qualify):
    Her: I don't like working for cafe "X".
    You: What are you on about? They have great coffee!
        NOT: Oh... why don't you like it?
Push/pull (Be unpredictable)
    - Does he like me? Or not... what's going on?
Knowledge
    - "Are you like a munich German... because when I was there I had a different vibe with girls)

Shittests? -> Ignore
Where are you from? "Mars".
Okaaay... *roll eyes*, or just ignore it completely.

Leading:
During attraction: Come here a second, we're in people's way
On a date: Tell her where to sit (Nono, this is way more comfy over here)
If she still doesn't comply go: "Okayyy... minus 10 points."

Instant date + time constraint (It'll only be for 10 minutes)
We're standing her anyway...
    - We've been talking for 5 mins now, and I'm gonna go grab a coffee anyway, tag along. I only got 10 minutes though. (Usually stay longer than 10 minutes)
Eye contact... "Comeon... It'll only be 10 minutes."
    - That's cool, well give me your number then... we'll do it another time. (Now you have a date set already, instead of a random number)
- Best coffee (weasel coffee), explain why it's the best. (Goes through digestive system of weasel, etc). Let's meet up at 7 tomorrow.

- False decisions:
    - Meet at 8 or 9?
    - Let's go on a date, tea or coffee?

Deep rapport (+/- 1 hour)
Family (Relationship with them)

Text: "Hey, it was nice to meet you, callback humor (Nice accent, don't lose it), keep in touch"
*Any text you're sending should make YOU smile, if it doesn't, don't send it*

Vibe = Screening & Rewarding.
The more she invests and gets rewarded... the more she wants the reward (Sex)
It's like a job interview, you won't be happy if you just show up and he immediately goes: You've got the job. It'll be much more rewarding when he gives you a tough interview and you've been selected out of all the other people.
So bait her to invest and qualify. Reward her for good behaviour.

---

Pull home objections:
- Where are we going? "PARIS!", or "Go see the dolphins"
- But I don't know you "only 5 mins, I have to get up early anyway"

Playful obstacles -> Come back playfully
Logical obstables -> Put her at ease
    (e.g. I'm not coming up with you, you might be a murderer) -> Yeah right.. if you really thought I was a murderer would you spent 3 hours with me?

At your house: Admit nerves, make her feel at ease... give her the power.

10 minutes do NOTHING. No kino whatsoever. Make her feel at ease in a strange environment.
Go on your bed, put on youtube/TV and make HER show you stuff. Instead of you trying to "impress" her with some awesome youtube video.

When you're on a high note say: Would you like to lie down next to me? (HOLD EYE CONTACT WHEN ASKING)
Objections? Go: "Okaayyy" *roll eyes* (As in, she's crazy/weird for not doing it)
- I'll give you a kiss anyway *kiss cheek*

Physical Push/pull (PLAYFUL AND FORCEFUL, BUT NOT AGRESSIVE... agressive comes off as needy)
- Wanna dance? cool.. wanna see my fav dance move? Throw her on bed and kiss her neck.

Talk little bit (nerves are fine). After minute kiss, after she kisses back stop lips (Almost like... I shouldn't be doing this), she'll invest MORE... let her escalate.

---

If you want to stand out, be yourself. Everyone else changes theirselves to be someone they're not just to get approval/validation.

Everything you're doing is a gift: Date/Sex. You're giving her what she wants already.

Everything in escalation is a gift, not a manipulative trick.

Escalation is a way of finding out about each other.
- What does she do for fun?
- What does her skin feel like?
- Does she like it when I touch her like this?
- What do her lips feel like?
And every time you get to a new level of intimacy, and at this new level you have new things to discover what she likes.

Woman fantasies are all about her being irresistable to men. Woman WANT to feel sexy... THIS TURNS THEM ON. Men slowly losing control (but not completely). Every woman wants to be that femme fatale that's destroying your sense of control and brings you back to that primal lust.

This is why it works when you see that hot girl and you approach. You get that GUT feeling and you just HAD to come meet her. This has to feel congruent and not like some script.

A woman's priority in dating is:
1. Social Value
2. Sex
(With men it's vice versa)

This is why BEING DISCREET is important (or being smooth)

---

You have to lead at a pace that's comfortable for her. This is why calibration is important.

Always escalate with a smile.

The most important thing about escalation is making her feel comfortable + having FUN.

---

Make a list of things you appreciate. (once a week, 5 things)
- I appreciate the subway, because it allows me to see my friends easier and get to my job.
- I appreciate my girlfriend, because of X Y Z.

What do you have to offer HER?
- A fun experience:
    - Orgasm
    - Good emotions
    - Awesome connection
    - Strong sense of safety

Make a bucket list with dates & prices and go do it.

--------------------

Some funny quotes:
Student: "Yeah, so I was talking to this girl and what do you do when you run out of statements? Because I was using statement after statement and after a while I didn't know what to say so I just said: Wanna make out?"

Instructor: "Alright, let's see, we've covered public transport, coffeeshops.. and now we've got..."
*clicks*
Instructor: "Beach?! I've never approached girls on the beach? What else..."
*clicks*
On the projector it says: "Jungle"
Instructor: "hahaha... damn you Andy! What else.."
*clicks* "The Vatican"
*clicks* "Farm"

Instructor: "So what do you guys want to hear about where to pickup girls?"
"Trains!"
"Parks!"
"In Gyms!"
"In Toilets!"

First date

Went on a date, here are some notes:
Limiting beliefs:
    - Don't touch her, it's weird, you're not high energy
    - Don't highfive her, or hug her, it's weird
    - Don't kiss her or get too close, it's weird
    - Don't tell her she looks cute and you're thinking about kissing her.. it's weird.
    - Don't tell her you want to do anything sexual to her, it's weird.
*If you continue to look so cute, I'll be forced to try and kiss you later*
    - You can't, because she's smoking.
        - Use it as a barrier and instead say: Too bad you're smoking, or else I'd probably try and kiss you right now... but you're smoking, so it's too bad ;)

* ADD KINO TO STRAWBERRY FIELDS (HOLD HANDS, ETC)

* Eye contact got more over time = she grew more comfortable

* TEST TO GO FOR THE KISS... when holding eye contact slowly go in... slowly... see if she pulls back. If she doesn't = green light.
    - You don't HAVE to kiss her... but now you just know you can.
        - As long as you do it slowly. Slow is key.

Biggest failure: You didn't kino, that's why the gap to a kiss or even sex felt so great, and THAT's why it felt weird.
---
What I did right:
- Didn't feel like going, felt REALLY tired (Almost felt like sleeping).
    - Felt really nervous.
    - Nervous when she opened the door, and on greeting.
    - Felt more comfortable after some talking... (After getting to know her a bit)
- Strawberry fields (Even though I totally messed up the first one, it still went awesome -> SHE'LL EAT ALL OF THE STRAWBERRIES AND SCREW THE FARMER!)
- Questions game (Went sexual with questions, but she went backwards (non-sexual), so I took that as a hint as her not being ready... even though she answered the sexual questions truthfully, I should've pushed. But I kept thinking: "I don't want to be the creepy sexual guy that's only thinking about sex.", even though I should RISK CREEPY.)
    - Qualified sexually during the questions game ("Craziest place sex... lemme guess, foot of the bed", her: "Noooo, on the beach ;)")
    - LOL! She asked me what are the 3 most important things in a relationship. It came out so fast, almost like I had pre-rehearsed it (She didn't caught on, but that's how I felt about it haha)
        - Honesty, trust & respect. - Credit; David X
            - She agreed.
- Set all the right frames:
    - Non-judgemental
    - Adventurous
    - Independent
    - Good at keeping secrets/discreet
- Baited her to invest (Still haven't heard any jokes ;))

Loads of realisations #2

They just keep on coming... 60's and SNS are striking home... this time the biggest thing I've learned is:
Eye contact + blank stare + silence = still golden.
and
Screening for good logistics (and how fucking easy it is, if you remember to just do it)

AA stays throughout the night... the thing you should strive for is not giving a fuck when you get rejected or weird people out.
If you can instantly (or very quickly) say: "fuck it", when this happens... that's when you've reached Social God Mode.

How I was at the end, is the same as I am ALL THE TIME. The same thought patterns, the same worries, the same every thing... only difference is I say what's on my mind and don't give a fuck.
I'll admit to mistakes: Oh, I forgot your name, oh I ran out of stuff to say. I just don't give a fuck. Why? They're not responsible for my happiness... I am.
Bad body language is FINE... as long as you're comfortable. (e.g. not worrying about what they're thinking of you, e.g. in your head)
    - leaning in doesn't count as bad body language... it's just needy and bad. With bad body language I mean folding of the arms, or not dancing and just looking around for a while.

Eye contact + blank stare + silence = still golden.

Had an awesome time
Nervous at start, approached first girl sober (really felt heart racing and afterwards felt like: wooow, feel the adrenaline, that was awesome!)
    - Thought pattern after this was: "Yeah well... I approached, but I didn't go direct and I'm still a pussy for chickening out on the other 5-10 girls I saw... why is this SO HARD?!" (Next time when you get here, build it up... go indirect, chat with people, get in the mood to socialize)
Didn't approach enough... (stuck to the group I came with, or walked off and didn't approach ANY groups)
Usually go for loners (need to open mixed groups more, or 1 girl/2 guys, even try indirect and ask logistical questions at first, see how that goes. And then hit on her if she's single.)
Was sober at start, later 1-2 beers, kinda tipsy
Went direct EVERY TIME (you looked cute/nice, had to come meet you)
tried instantly for its on moment (her: "wow really forward... what... are you doing?") BUT, she was complying... curling her fingers in mine. Eventually I kinda let her go.. should've kept going and talked normally. Ignore her comments.
    - I was LOOKING at our hands when going for the it's on moment... next time, feel it out, do it but hold eye contact and talk about something else. Don't draw attention to it... do you ever kino her shoulder and look at where you're touching? No... because it's fucking weird... same goes for the IOM.
CONSTANTLY ran out of stuff to say and went in my head thinking: alright... what routine to use
SNAKEBITE:
1st girl: I didn't hear you...
2nd girl: wow... this interaction keeps getting weirder! (already felt she was kinda hesistant at first, but as she wanted to walk off I kept talking, making statements and kept reingaging her as she gave me more and more compliance... even walking back to hear what I had to say... and then I went for the sexual frame too soon, or I just did snakebite too weird...)

Direct approach, false time constraint as I sat down... later friend came in, INSTANTLY greeted him, made statement (you seem like you're from the same school)
did snakebite, her: "yeah... I'm not feeling the poison :P"

I constantly said: well... I just ran out of stuff to say (which is the truth... haha, but it's not really something that'll help me in seduction)
holded eye contact with a girl a lot while silent... got close into her face without her breaking eye contact...
tried to get her number, she didn't give it...
me: "playing hard to get... I see :P do you have a boyfriend?"
her: "no..."
me: "then there's no reason not to give me your number"
her: "uuhhhh welll.... uhhh"
me: "alright, nevermind... I can already tell that I won't see you again based on your response so.... I don't want a flaky number, I want to see you again though"
*silence*
me: "you're kinda cool though... you can be my best friend for the next... 10 minutes ;)"
her: "hhaha 10 minutes? alright :P"
me: "so... i like your sense of humor though, tell me a joke"
her: instant reply: "nooo i don't know any"
seeing as she didn't even THINK first, I couldn't tell her: aahh I saw it, it was a dirty joke... it would've been out of place.

after opener, every time I asked who they were there with and how they knew eachother and they ALWAYS complied. ALWAYS.
Who are you here with, how do you all know eachother
and how did you get here? (Bike, Public transportation)

I got AWESOME responses.... I expected girls to be all negative EVERY TIME, but they weren't... they were happy to talk to me. (Even the ones that looked like they had an attitude) Until it got weird and I got this kinda feeling that I was unwanted so I left... (usually after baiting her to invest and her not complying and then looking around with a blank expression face)

fast escalation (snakebite -> sexual frame -> weirded some girls out..)
    check
a calm reaction to resistance (look at her funny, eye contact)
    check
persistence
    check... but, should've overstayed my welcome longer... fuck social pressure, stay in there until she tells you to fuck off or leaves.
---
    People are bored as fuck at social gatherings
    You're adding value no matter what when you approach (even when you're creepy you'll give them a conversation piece for the rest of the night)
- This is fucking true.... I saw people I've approached, and even though my interaction was horrible, they'd still rather be talking to me than be bored.
- How do I know this? Easy, after awkward silence and her looking away, she reingaged me.. and was investing after I baited her to (e.g. ask her question, her replying truthfully and with eye contact/smile/etc)

    So how would you act if you knew the woman you were talking to
    already liked you?
    I bet you probably held face contact, got really close to her, and didn’t
    feel the need to say or do anything special. In fact, you probably sat back
    and let her talk most of the time (qualify herself) while you smirked
    thinking “it’s just a matter of time”.
- Yup, every time I was in conversation and she answered ANY question I asked with eye contact I would assume attraction, got really close and held eye contact/silence.
- Why did I assume attraction? Easy... she wasn't weirded out after I told her she was cute/nice and asked some logistical questions/statements.
---
Next time instead of snakebite -> good girl, naughty side (or different side, if it's too early)
    - If you continue to look so cute I'm forced to flirt with you later (or some more)
    - half-a-motherfucking-HUG
    - 3D escalation (GET PEOPLE TO FUCKING MOVE, NO MATTER WHAT or WHERE you are in the interaction... get the calibration, fuck up a couple of times, 3D escalation is TOO HUGE to ignore)

I noticed that I used snakebite to reward her compliance (oh, you do this/that school.. awesome! pound it! snakebite)
It's not working... or it's too soon... (or I'm not doing it right, they're not laughing...)
reward with halfahug
or reward with highfive (and go into an IOM)

"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted"
And that I did... A LOT. Imagine how much more experience I would get if I approached EVERY girl that I liked... (loud music and mixed groups are still scaring me)
Loud music because: I'm scared she won't hear me and it just not going well. (Also I can't use long questions/statements/roleplays, keep the questions/statements short)
Mixed groups because: Guys are bigger than me? lol, I dunno... I always feel like guys would be hostile towards me, even though about 99/100 guys I meet are cool guys and like me)

In order to speed up the learning process I have to:
Stay in the interaction until I get a "fuck off", or she/they walk off.
Open girls EVERY WHERE, no matter the situation.
    - And I've approached 1 girl/4 guys before (direct), so I know I can do it :)
    - And I've approached girls in LOUD ASS clubs too (direct), they liked me, they smiled, interaction fizzles... byebye cute girl, but.... I know I can do it.
- Need to write down some NORMAL lines in-between sexual frames/roleplays/investments, sorry Epik, but you told me that you go from opener to snakebite to fuck/murder/marry to roleplay.... but to me.. that's weird. I want to be normal and sexy as fuck. I'll use your stuff... but... I need some NORMAL lines too. Some normal getting to know you questions.... hmmmmmmmmm what do I want to know....? (hint: personality)

So... from the "what do you do" question/statement, you go into the: "why choose that?" or "I see, so you like helping people... you must be a really good friend... etc"

To be continued... I'm fucking tired, I'm going to bed... can't wait until Thursday/Friday. Going out alone is getting closer... once I can: Hold conversations with mixed groups (fucking easy, but I'm not doing it because of fear) and am far enough to be able to isolate girls from groups consistently.