Immediate goal (<1 week): Have 1 casual conversation per day (on the subway) to practice conversational skills.
Short term goal (<1 month): Be able to have a fun and flirtatious conversation with woman I find sexually attractive for at least 20 minutes or more. (And use statement of intents).
Medium goal (1-3 months): Get my first same night lay with a girl I find sexually attractive.
Long term goal (>3 months): Be able to pull same night lays consistently with woman I find sexually attractive. (Consistently = every 2-3 nights I go out)
My ultimate goal is: to be able to go out, without any notes or weird missions that I have to do. Without having to try out new games/routines/lines, and just being able to comfortably walk up to a HOT girl, be comfortable in conversation (without being scared of running out of things to say!) and see if she has an awesome personality too (e.g. fun to be around).. and be able to escalate (without fear of disapproval) and take her home that night.
"Go out without notes and be able to pull same night lays consistently with attractive woman."
This will make me feel like all my hard work has been paying off. I don't even care if I had to make a promise that I can't tell ANYONE that I brought someone home, I'm not doing it to get validation from friends.
Notes:
- Approaching is always a little nerve racking, like an adrenaline shot. And I truly belief that it'll never go away. Ever. You just learn to handle it.
- I can't guarantee that she has the logistics to be able to come home with me. Not only that, but I can't even guarantee that she'll find me attractive, I can only improve my chances by practicing. So it doesn't have to be her, I'll just move on to the next attractive girl. ;) As long as I pull THAT night.
I realize now why I don't care anymore when I get flakes or get blown out.... it's not even about any particular girl anymore. It's about MY game, MY skill-set, and improving it.
I want to get it top notch so that I'll be able to have choices in the woman I date/sleep with.
And I feel that if I'm able to pull same night lays consistently that my game is where I want it to be.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
The first girl I went direct on.
How many people can say they have a picture of the ass of the first girl they went direct on. ;)
"Hey, I have a policy of meeting the hottest girl in the club when I go out, and tonight it's you. My name’s Coldman." *shake hands*
She had a great smile too.
PUA - FR 07 - 2011-03-27 - Conversational Sticking Point
What I did right:
- I felt shitty, low energy, had a cold, and was REALLY nervous, but I went out anyway.
- Got to the club sober
- When girls wanted to pass without asking me if they could, I'd say: "Yeah... sure you can pass!" *While putting my hand on their waist*
- One girl looked at me, said "Thanks", with a smile. And stayed for a sec... she wanted to talk, but I didn't go further. "She's not hot enough!", "I don't know what to say!", etc, I thought.
- Being sober I could look around, got LOADS of laughs when I made eye contact (approach invitations), you can easily see which girl is going to be receptive when you approach.
- Even after 3-4 glasses of wine I still felt sober. (And then I got drunk and just started dancing like crazy through groups of girls and stuff, blowing myself out and just having a good time :P)
- "SANDWICH!", saw 2 girls dancing and I just pushed myself in there shouting: "SANDWICH!", they look at me like: wtf?. So I continue to push myself in there shouting: "SANDWICH!". Eventually I got 1 girl grinding in front of me, and 1 girl behind me.
- When leaving 1 place to go to another I said to myself: "This is fucking ridiculous, alright, open the next woman you see direct.", I didn't see anyone, until 1 passed me by almost near the exit so I went: "You look FUCKING SEXY!" with direct eye contact. She looked at me... thought for a second... and walked off without saying a word. She wasn't even attractive.
- Got wine in a champagne glass. Made me look like a high roller. ;)
- Made outrageous compliance tests on opening:
- "You can't pass until you pay the toll" *Point to cheek for a kiss*
- Made a girl hold a drink so I could go dance in a dance-circle.
- Girl threw a drink in the air and made me wet: "Hey! You made me wet! ;)" *point to cheek for a kiss* (Got cheek to cheek kiss)
- Also when opening her I put my hand on her neck instead of the usual hand-on-waist... she seemed to be okay with it.
- Grabbed girls by the hips, and then moved them aside to pass through, really animated. (Even when there's LOADS of space around them, which makes it even funnier)
- 1 chick went really easily, the other really stiff and got an angry face.
What I did wrong:
- I feel like I can't hold a conversation, and for this reason alone I don't approach. I even use this as an excuse not to go to bars/clubs alone cause I feel like if I approach I'll just be an approaching machine, going through every group with small chit-chat that doesn't go anywhere and is really really boring.
- I also didn't approach, because I felt like every time I wanted to; I could see the girl reject me in my head. Made me feel like: "Fuck it, why even bother."
- Didn't open the first set I saw.
- Was really choosy in who I opened ("No, not her, she's not hot", "No, not her, there's guys around her", etc)
- Go direct on target, "So who are we here with tonight?", introduce yourself to the group, and focus back on her.
What I learned:
- Learned that AA is a fucking myth, I can open anyone whether I'm in state or not... it's easy. I don't need social momentum, I don't need warm-up sets, I don't need to get in state.
- Though I still have a negative self belief that;
1. I'll get rejected by 4/5 HOT woman. (STOP DOING CRAZY OPENERS AND GETTING NEGATIVE RESPONSES, OR DO IT AND TELL THEM YOU'RE JOKING AFTER-WARDS AND HAVE A NORMAL CONVERSATION)
2. I can't maintain a normal conversation.
- I opened a lot of girls, and yet I'd still not open every hot girl I saw because of these beliefs.
- Social proof is not important, I didn't notice any difference while holding a champagne glass, also while doing the sandwich only a quarter of the room saw it. The other side didn't see my social proof. Nobody cares. It's alright if it happens, but don't revolve your game around it.
- I can: Open, kino (IOM), SOI, etc, I've done it loads of times before. It's easy and not scary.
- Don't be choosy, talk to EVERYONE in close proximity (This is the best way to learn how to maintain a conversation with strangers, practice) and be sexual towards your target (Escalate the vibe = Holding face, getting closer and touch)
- Proof the brain wrong ("Your interaction is going to go great!").
- Think about all the woman who you have successfully opened.
- Remember all the smiles and hot girls that are willing to talk to you to support this new belief.
- Don't look for IOI's, Escalation = attractive. If she's not giving you an approach invitation, it just means she's not YET attracted. Escalate and she WILL be.
- You don't always have to talk, sexual tension keeps the interaction interesting. Just be comfortable with silence.
- If she likes you, she'll help you seduce her... she'll try to keep the conversation going too.
- Assume she wants your cock.
------------------------------
What to do better next time:
- Bait to invest and qualify (See qualify notes)
- Half-a-hug ("You're giving me a lousy half-a-hug back ;)")
- "Hold this"
- "Tell me a joke"
- "What's your favourite place on your body to be kissed besides your lips"
- Sexual frames
- "You look like a nice girl on the outside, but I detect a serious naughty side."
- "You look really adventurous, kinda like the type of girl that really goes for what she wants and isn't afraid to let herself have some fun."
- Strawberry fields
- Story about how sex isn't a big deal and how it won't get weird after-wards.
- Say overtly sexual shit to build more sexual tension
- You're really an awesome person, I like you, I'm really glad I met you. Don't get any ideas, I'm trying to get into your pants, but if nothing happens I'm glad I met you. ;)
- "Too bad we're in a club, or else I'd throw you up against that couch, bend you over and take care of business... but, we're in a bar, So we can't do that ;)"
- “you’re lucky your friend is around or I would already be fingering you right now”
------------------------------
Goals for next time:
- Learn conversational topics and qualifying statements.
- Be comfortable with silence.
- Go sober.
- When you get to the club, before anything open the first group of girls you see.
- Don't get a drink, don't go dancing, don't circle around, don't go to the bathroom
- Proof the brain wrong ("Your interaction is going to go great!").
- Think about all the woman who you have successfully opened.
- Remember all the smiles and hot girls that are willing to talk to you to support this new belief.
- Get rejected 25 times by having a NORMAL conversation. (Rejection = them walking away or telling you to "fuck off!")
- Normal conversation consists of:
- Fluff talk
- Banter (Humor)
- Teasing
- Cocky & Funny (Stop undressing me with your eyes/You're just trying to get me into bed)
- Sexual humor (innuendo's/misinterpretations)
- Tongue & Cheek Romanticism (roleplay that you're together)
- Irresistible asshole (looking for easy lay - goal=laughter)
- Roleplay (We are amazing like superheroes/New GF for the next 10 min/convince other people your married or pregnant. She's your "wife".)
- Takeaways = Punish resistance (Some girls need ZERO takeaways, some need 100. The more she likes you, the harder the takeaways can be.)
1. We're through/Divorce/Girls like you are bad for me
2. Statements of intent/If you stick around bad things will happen/Ignore her and give short answers
3. You're a player aren't you?/Just so you know, I think you're fucking hot, but we're not having sex
4. I thought you were awesome, I didn't know you were X, if that's true, then fuck this, I'm out.
5. (Pulling), I want you to come, but I'm not going to beg you. You know I like you, either come or don't. If you don't trust me, don't come.
6. (In isolation), Promise this won't be a one night stand/I know this sounds weird, but I'm not into one night stands/I like you, but if that's all you think I want from you after talking to you all night, then fuck this... I'm out
- Stories
- Cold reads
- Qualifying statements
- Sexual frames
- Statements of intent
- I felt shitty, low energy, had a cold, and was REALLY nervous, but I went out anyway.
- Got to the club sober
- When girls wanted to pass without asking me if they could, I'd say: "Yeah... sure you can pass!" *While putting my hand on their waist*
- One girl looked at me, said "Thanks", with a smile. And stayed for a sec... she wanted to talk, but I didn't go further. "She's not hot enough!", "I don't know what to say!", etc, I thought.
- Being sober I could look around, got LOADS of laughs when I made eye contact (approach invitations), you can easily see which girl is going to be receptive when you approach.
- Even after 3-4 glasses of wine I still felt sober. (And then I got drunk and just started dancing like crazy through groups of girls and stuff, blowing myself out and just having a good time :P)
- "SANDWICH!", saw 2 girls dancing and I just pushed myself in there shouting: "SANDWICH!", they look at me like: wtf?. So I continue to push myself in there shouting: "SANDWICH!". Eventually I got 1 girl grinding in front of me, and 1 girl behind me.
- When leaving 1 place to go to another I said to myself: "This is fucking ridiculous, alright, open the next woman you see direct.", I didn't see anyone, until 1 passed me by almost near the exit so I went: "You look FUCKING SEXY!" with direct eye contact. She looked at me... thought for a second... and walked off without saying a word. She wasn't even attractive.
- Got wine in a champagne glass. Made me look like a high roller. ;)
- Made outrageous compliance tests on opening:
- "You can't pass until you pay the toll" *Point to cheek for a kiss*
- Made a girl hold a drink so I could go dance in a dance-circle.
- Girl threw a drink in the air and made me wet: "Hey! You made me wet! ;)" *point to cheek for a kiss* (Got cheek to cheek kiss)
- Also when opening her I put my hand on her neck instead of the usual hand-on-waist... she seemed to be okay with it.
- Grabbed girls by the hips, and then moved them aside to pass through, really animated. (Even when there's LOADS of space around them, which makes it even funnier)
- 1 chick went really easily, the other really stiff and got an angry face.
What I did wrong:
- I feel like I can't hold a conversation, and for this reason alone I don't approach. I even use this as an excuse not to go to bars/clubs alone cause I feel like if I approach I'll just be an approaching machine, going through every group with small chit-chat that doesn't go anywhere and is really really boring.
- I also didn't approach, because I felt like every time I wanted to; I could see the girl reject me in my head. Made me feel like: "Fuck it, why even bother."
- Didn't open the first set I saw.
- Was really choosy in who I opened ("No, not her, she's not hot", "No, not her, there's guys around her", etc)
- Go direct on target, "So who are we here with tonight?", introduce yourself to the group, and focus back on her.
What I learned:
- Learned that AA is a fucking myth, I can open anyone whether I'm in state or not... it's easy. I don't need social momentum, I don't need warm-up sets, I don't need to get in state.
- Though I still have a negative self belief that;
1. I'll get rejected by 4/5 HOT woman. (STOP DOING CRAZY OPENERS AND GETTING NEGATIVE RESPONSES, OR DO IT AND TELL THEM YOU'RE JOKING AFTER-WARDS AND HAVE A NORMAL CONVERSATION)
2. I can't maintain a normal conversation.
- I opened a lot of girls, and yet I'd still not open every hot girl I saw because of these beliefs.
- Social proof is not important, I didn't notice any difference while holding a champagne glass, also while doing the sandwich only a quarter of the room saw it. The other side didn't see my social proof. Nobody cares. It's alright if it happens, but don't revolve your game around it.
- I can: Open, kino (IOM), SOI, etc, I've done it loads of times before. It's easy and not scary.
- Don't be choosy, talk to EVERYONE in close proximity (This is the best way to learn how to maintain a conversation with strangers, practice) and be sexual towards your target (Escalate the vibe = Holding face, getting closer and touch)
- Proof the brain wrong ("Your interaction is going to go great!").
- Think about all the woman who you have successfully opened.
- Remember all the smiles and hot girls that are willing to talk to you to support this new belief.
- Don't look for IOI's, Escalation = attractive. If she's not giving you an approach invitation, it just means she's not YET attracted. Escalate and she WILL be.
- You don't always have to talk, sexual tension keeps the interaction interesting. Just be comfortable with silence.
- If she likes you, she'll help you seduce her... she'll try to keep the conversation going too.
- Assume she wants your cock.
------------------------------
What to do better next time:
- Bait to invest and qualify (See qualify notes)
- Half-a-hug ("You're giving me a lousy half-a-hug back ;)")
- "Hold this"
- "Tell me a joke"
- "What's your favourite place on your body to be kissed besides your lips"
- Sexual frames
- "You look like a nice girl on the outside, but I detect a serious naughty side."
- "You look really adventurous, kinda like the type of girl that really goes for what she wants and isn't afraid to let herself have some fun."
- Strawberry fields
- Story about how sex isn't a big deal and how it won't get weird after-wards.
- Say overtly sexual shit to build more sexual tension
- You're really an awesome person, I like you, I'm really glad I met you. Don't get any ideas, I'm trying to get into your pants, but if nothing happens I'm glad I met you. ;)
- "Too bad we're in a club, or else I'd throw you up against that couch, bend you over and take care of business... but, we're in a bar, So we can't do that ;)"
- “you’re lucky your friend is around or I would already be fingering you right now”
------------------------------
Goals for next time:
- Learn conversational topics and qualifying statements.
- Be comfortable with silence.
- Go sober.
- When you get to the club, before anything open the first group of girls you see.
- Don't get a drink, don't go dancing, don't circle around, don't go to the bathroom
- Proof the brain wrong ("Your interaction is going to go great!").
- Think about all the woman who you have successfully opened.
- Remember all the smiles and hot girls that are willing to talk to you to support this new belief.
- Get rejected 25 times by having a NORMAL conversation. (Rejection = them walking away or telling you to "fuck off!")
- Normal conversation consists of:
- Fluff talk
- Banter (Humor)
- Teasing
- Cocky & Funny (Stop undressing me with your eyes/You're just trying to get me into bed)
- Sexual humor (innuendo's/misinterpretations)
- Tongue & Cheek Romanticism (roleplay that you're together)
- Irresistible asshole (looking for easy lay - goal=laughter)
- Roleplay (We are amazing like superheroes/New GF for the next 10 min/convince other people your married or pregnant. She's your "wife".)
- Takeaways = Punish resistance (Some girls need ZERO takeaways, some need 100. The more she likes you, the harder the takeaways can be.)
1. We're through/Divorce/Girls like you are bad for me
2. Statements of intent/If you stick around bad things will happen/Ignore her and give short answers
3. You're a player aren't you?/Just so you know, I think you're fucking hot, but we're not having sex
4. I thought you were awesome, I didn't know you were X, if that's true, then fuck this, I'm out.
5. (Pulling), I want you to come, but I'm not going to beg you. You know I like you, either come or don't. If you don't trust me, don't come.
6. (In isolation), Promise this won't be a one night stand/I know this sounds weird, but I'm not into one night stands/I like you, but if that's all you think I want from you after talking to you all night, then fuck this... I'm out
- Stories
- Cold reads
- Qualifying statements
- Sexual frames
- Statements of intent
Friday, March 25, 2011
Escalation by GoneSavage
No one has to prove himself to you.
You do, however, have to prove yourself to yourself.
How you would even find out who the #7 PUA is, baffles me. Why you would care, or find it important enough to repeat is really alarming.
I can't tell you who the #7 football player is. And I bet this information is readily available. Fact is, I don't care. It has no bearing on my life. My success, happiness, or improvement.
The community sometimes becomes an unfortunate misdirection for the guys who found it with the best intentions of *self improvement.*
Get back on track, man. Who cares what other guys look like or what they do with their time.
You know how Zan says "everything I know, I learned from women"?
He uses it as a marketing distinction to separate himself from the guru-worshipers.
But, really, how can it be any other way? Get out there and let women be your teachers!
A guy can give you an idea, but ultimately you have to go out and use it. Test it.
If women have taught me anything it's this: Escalate.
Despite looks.
Despite personality.
Despite state.
Despite frame.
Despite voice.
Despite social proof.
Despite peacocking.
Despite ego / lack of ego.
Despite micro expressions. (LOL)
Despite mirror neutrons. (LOL again)
Escalation» is attraction. Escalation» is arousal. Escalation» is screening. Escalation» is the highest compliment you can give another person. Escalation» is seduction.
So, I'm going to go in field with you. Soon. Not to prove anything, just out of empathy.
I'm asking a favor though. Go out at least once (hopefully more than once), first, and focus only on two things:
Open and escalate.
Open. Escalate. Open. Escalate. Escalate. Open. Escalate. Escalate. Escalate. Open. Escalate. Escalate. Escalate. Escalate.
No excuses.
No looking for indicators of interest.
No wondering if she "likes" you or not.
No worrying about calibration.
No worrying about being thought of as creepy.
No worrying about what the other guys around you think.
No worrying about getting blown out, etc.
No excuses.
Open. With and introduction or compliment or whatever you want.
Follow with "Hey, let me show you something cool."
Google the Trust Test and use it.
"You seem cool, let me get your number."
No worrying about awkwardness. Any awkwardness is hers.
Your silence maintains sexual tension, it's passive escalation».
If you focus on anything else, focus on your own arousal.
What about her turns you on?
What would you like to see her doing to you?
What would be happening if the lights were out and no one had to know? (see other hypotheticals on this thread)
Don't ask me a million "what ifs."
Get out there and try it.
Report back results.
This only takes courage. Confidence is not even required.
Confidence means acting with assurance; courage means acting despite having no assurance whatsoever.
If you refuse to do it for yourself, then do it for the sake of seduction science research.
The community used to be about sharing an enthusiasm for experimentation.
It wasn't about bellyaching.
It wasn't about arguing your own limitations.
It wasn't about arguing who's ugly and who's not.
It wasn't about name-dropping and marketing, either.
Get out there -- despite all your perceived limitations -- open, and escalate. Report back.
GoneSavage
You do, however, have to prove yourself to yourself.
How you would even find out who the #7 PUA is, baffles me. Why you would care, or find it important enough to repeat is really alarming.
I can't tell you who the #7 football player is. And I bet this information is readily available. Fact is, I don't care. It has no bearing on my life. My success, happiness, or improvement.
The community sometimes becomes an unfortunate misdirection for the guys who found it with the best intentions of *self improvement.*
Get back on track, man. Who cares what other guys look like or what they do with their time.
You know how Zan says "everything I know, I learned from women"?
He uses it as a marketing distinction to separate himself from the guru-worshipers.
But, really, how can it be any other way? Get out there and let women be your teachers!
A guy can give you an idea, but ultimately you have to go out and use it. Test it.
If women have taught me anything it's this: Escalate.
Despite looks.
Despite personality.
Despite state.
Despite frame.
Despite voice.
Despite social proof.
Despite peacocking.
Despite ego / lack of ego.
Despite micro expressions. (LOL)
Despite mirror neutrons. (LOL again)
Escalation» is attraction. Escalation» is arousal. Escalation» is screening. Escalation» is the highest compliment you can give another person. Escalation» is seduction.
So, I'm going to go in field with you. Soon. Not to prove anything, just out of empathy.
I'm asking a favor though. Go out at least once (hopefully more than once), first, and focus only on two things:
Open and escalate.
Open. Escalate. Open. Escalate. Escalate. Open. Escalate. Escalate. Escalate. Open. Escalate. Escalate. Escalate. Escalate.
No excuses.
No looking for indicators of interest.
No wondering if she "likes" you or not.
No worrying about calibration.
No worrying about being thought of as creepy.
No worrying about what the other guys around you think.
No worrying about getting blown out, etc.
No excuses.
Open. With and introduction or compliment or whatever you want.
Follow with "Hey, let me show you something cool."
Google the Trust Test and use it.
"You seem cool, let me get your number."
No worrying about awkwardness. Any awkwardness is hers.
Your silence maintains sexual tension, it's passive escalation».
If you focus on anything else, focus on your own arousal.
What about her turns you on?
What would you like to see her doing to you?
What would be happening if the lights were out and no one had to know? (see other hypotheticals on this thread)
Don't ask me a million "what ifs."
Get out there and try it.
Report back results.
This only takes courage. Confidence is not even required.
Confidence means acting with assurance; courage means acting despite having no assurance whatsoever.
If you refuse to do it for yourself, then do it for the sake of seduction science research.
The community used to be about sharing an enthusiasm for experimentation.
It wasn't about bellyaching.
It wasn't about arguing your own limitations.
It wasn't about arguing who's ugly and who's not.
It wasn't about name-dropping and marketing, either.
Get out there -- despite all your perceived limitations -- open, and escalate. Report back.
GoneSavage
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Qualification explained by Sinn
So in order to hopefully rectify this I have written this post.
First a definition of qualification for those who are unaware of such things and the reasons that we need to qualify.
In the attraction phase, we, the PUA, Demonstrate value and attributes of an attractive man and the woman rewards us with indicators of interest. Qualification is its mirror opposite, where we will entice her to demonstrate value so that we can reward her with indicators of interest.
The reason behind this is as follows. Women become attracted to men ALL the time. Re-read that sentence 100 times. A woman doesn’t have the time necessary to get to know every guy she is attracted to. So when you have good attraction game, you will be able to get a woman’s REAL phone number in a short amount of time. However when you call her the next day, this is the difference in thinking between men and women.
PUA: She gave me her number it’s on.
Woman: Yeah he was attractive but why would I see him again? Why is he calling me he doesn’t even know anything about me, he must just want sex. I don’t feel like having sex. I’m not going to call him back.
Or Buyer’s Remorse as it has been called many times.
However if you can convince a woman that you like her for reasons other than her looks and sexuality, she will be motivated to see you again. Ideally you will develop actual standards and find things that you actually like in the particular girl.
So the old way that we did this was through the use of the Bait-Hook-Reel-Release model.
Now a quick word. If you have a proper conversational ratio, meaning that she is speaking about 40% of the time by now, she should be giving you things about herself that you can qualify her for. You can also qualify arbitrarily by telling the entire group that they are cool or fun.
When she has not given you reasons to qualify her and you can tell she is attracted, you will want to bait her to tell you cool things about herself. You can do this through the use of questions or statements.
In the beginning you want to make the hoops small and innocuous. When I took my initial program many years ago, Mystery just taught us to ask “ what you have going for you more than your looks.” That is what I call a large hoop. And even if a woman is attracted she may refuse to answer that question as out of the blue it is too big of a compliance request. I noticed that as I was in field girl would answer it most of the time, but sometimes it would not go over. At the time I was reading a lot of sales lit and I learned about the concept of a yes-ladder. Basic idea is that the more someone says yes the more likely they are to say yes in the future. I applied this to qualification by starting with smaller qualification hoops leading to medium sized hoops and ending with the large hoop “ What do you have going for you besides your looks.”
Small hoops are any question that presents a stereotype that a woman wants to be seen as. She should be able to answer yes to this question with little or no thinking. Some examples are “ Are you adventurous, Are you smart, are you a good friend?”
Medium hoops require a little more thinking and are actually where you will find out if your qualification is taking or not. Some examples are “what nationality are you? What do you want to be when you grow up?” It’s here that a woman can if uninterested stop the qualification by not answering or giving a slow answer such as ”I’m a mutt.”
Side note, a woman will not answer a qualification question for one of two reasons. One she is not attracted. These answers will be short and succinct. Like “I don’t know”. The other reason is that she sees you as an authority and doesn’t want to say something to make herself seem less cool. If she is making an effort to answer the question, you need to reward her.
Large hoops are blatantly qualifying questions where she will realize she is qualifying herself but do it anyway because she has already invested earlier.
So the old model required us to bait with a question and would sometimes sound like a job interview as you pummeled the girl with questions. So the first mistake to correct is only asking questions. Any question can be turned into a statement fairly easily. For example let’s say I want to find out what nationality a girl is. I could ask, “What nationality are you?” Or I can say, “ You look very German.” And wait for her to either agree or disagree. You get the exact same information, at which point you need to give her an indicator of interest or compliment if you want to be normal.
Qualification will be the first point in the interaction where you can start to hit on the girl. So as soon as she answers the question, we reward her with a compliment. For example “ OMG you’re German! I love German girls, my ex-fiancé was German and we went over there and traced her whole family tree. It’s such a cool culture.
The compliment should be non-generic and non-physical. The more in-depth and specific you can be, the more qualified she will feel.
In the old model, the next step was to release by throwing a small IOD like “ can’t even talk to you anymore.” Then return to normal conversation. This is where guys get into trouble most of the time and the main reason why I felt the need to write this post. You DON'T need to release every time. In fact if you follow this cycle dogmatically the girl will even notice it. You may even have girls respond to I can’t talk to you by saying ok.
The key to releasing is to do it ONLY when a woman feels uncomfortable with you hitting on her. If she is accepting your compliments and likes them then there is NO reason to release it and it will seem fake. So the release in my model has been changed to a tease and it still remains at the end of the cycle but this time there is a piece before the release. And that piece is asking a rapport question.
One of the main reasons that guys have problems being able to qualify girls is that they go in with the intention of trying to qualify a girl. Instead of actually trying to find out what is cool about the girl. So when you BHRR without exploring the topic of conversation, it comes across as fake. If you were really that interested in her nationality you would probably ask a question like “ Have you ever been to Germany” etc…
The more actual interest you can show here the better.
Now onto to releases. The best way to release is to throw in a non-sequitor tease. Something along the lines of “Too bad you're such a dork!” The point of a release is to pop the bubble of tension that has been created by hitting on her. This makes her more comfortable as you have released the tension created by hitting on her. But remember you don’t have to do it every time. Only when she appears uncomfortable with you hitting on her. Generally with a bigger IOI. Another way of releasing tension on smaller hoops (Which get smaller IOIs BTW) is to structure a challenge to her quality.
PUA: Are you adventurous?
Girl: Yeah Totally
PUA: Awesome I love adventurous people. There’s just so much more fun. What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done? Don’t say running with scissors.
Girl: One time I went skydiving
The last thing I want to talk about is the idea of continuous qualification. Meaning that comfort and qualification and later on relationship and qualification are going to cycle. You will need to keep giving her reasons that you like her FOREVER. So when you are stuck for things to say on a date or 10 year into your marriage tell the girl why you like her.
- SINN (June 24, 2009)
Saturday, March 19, 2011
PUA - FR 06 - 2011-03-19 - Attempt SNL, got pretty close
Got to the club sober, got AA for the first 30 minutes from building negative social momentum;
Saw 2 hot girls behind me in line to buy coins for alcohol, didn't approach: -1 social momentum
started walking towards the dance floor, some hot girls walked by, didn't approach: -2 social momentum
and I was thinking to myself: "yeah approaching sucks and yeah rejection sucks, but fuck it... this night is gonna fucking suck if I don't step up right now and go do something"
then approached a girl who was passing by: "Hey, you look beautiful and I had to come meet you", her: "Yea thx, and sorry got to go meet my friends" and she started walking away
so I grabbed her hand, pulled her in close and tried to go for makeout, her: "yea cool, sorry, got to go".
After all the negative social momentum I build, this 1 approach alone didn't get me in: Social God Mode (e.g. Fuck the ego Mode), but AA was definitely less (And with AA I mean being in your head)
But at least I had less negative social momentum.
Went to smoking area, saw hot girl, and tried talking myself out of approaching again.
so I grabbed my friend and told the chick: "Hey, it's my buddy's birthday give him a birthday kiss"
she refused, but wished him a happy birthday... at this point I merged the set of my friends and hers. Go me.
Then went back to the dancefloor, saw a chick, tried to dance with her, rejected
Saw another chick, smoking hot, with 5 sorta tough guys around her, gave her my hand and tried to dance with her, rejected
so I ignored rejection and just grabbed her hand and got rejected again. (Should've gotten closer, I was way too far away from her)
I wanted to push resistance even more with the chick, but I started looking around me and for the first time in my life I was actually pretty fucking scared that I was gonna get knifed right then and there... I mean, I saw that there were 5 dudes with her and I was like; "Fuck it, it's scary and that's why I should do it.", but I didn't realize how intimidating they were until I got close and opened the chick.
I realized it wasn't worth getting knifed over, so I ejected.
5 guys laughing at my rejection, lol, who gives a fuck, I tried anyway... and I know at least 4 of them wants to fuck the girl but are too pussy to make a move, they can't judge me for trying ;)
Saw another chick, introduced myself to her AND her friends and then grabbed her hand and danced with her, went for mutual hand caressing... it wasn't mutual, but I was caressing her hand and she was okay with it.
Went for makeout, got it.
While making out I put my knee in between her legs and starting rubbing her pussy lol. Also grabbed and caressed her ass a couple of times. Got no objections.
I figured I should just try and pull her home now so I told her: "Let's go", while pulling her physically.
She asked: "Where to?"
I said: "We're going on an adventure, don't worry it'll be fun ;)"
she said: "Noooo, I do crazy stuff when I'm drunk :D"
I tried to get past resistance; "that's alright, me2, let's go ;)"
her: "Nonononono!! :D", she pulled back
so some more dancing ensued, *number exchange*
Me: "Let's take a picture"
Her: "Nooooo, I'd rather not!"
Me: "Ok cool, I like being discreet anyway ;)"
Spun her around and she started to grind on me, I told her she smelled nice, got a thanks.
Then grabbed her hand and put it on my erected cock, and told her: "This is what you're doing to me, it's your fault". She laughed.
Grabbed and caressed her ass and told her "She should stop being so sexy, it won't work on me." She laughed.
Tried to pull her again, she rejected and then she got pulled away by friends. She promised she'd call me tomorrow.
Later on I saw her at the smoking area, opened her again and build some comfort. (What do you do for fun, etc (While caressing her back, trying to turn her on))
I figured I should build some comfort else I'd never see her again outside the club (had it happen loads of times, she'll like you in the club, but the next day she won't know who you are other than the really hot "sexual" guy in the club and get flakes)
Went for mutual hand caressing again, only it wasn't mutual (wtf?), she just sorta let me caress her hands...
I figured the SNL isn't happening so I tried to setup a day2:
me: "Do you like movies?"
her: "Yeah"
me: "ok cool, on sunday me and my friends are going to see this movie in theaters, you should come",
she said she had other plans (Birthday or something)
She went on to the dancefloor, we both agree we'd see eachother on the dancefloor again, but I didn't see her and we didn't meet up.
It was funny, cause she looked like the typical "nice" girl and I thought I wouldn't get away with so much... funny how our judgments usually suck.
Later on tried some more sets to dance, but got rejected.
------------------------------
My magic number = 5, not bad.
(A magic number is how many women you have to contact before you find one who has interest in you based solely on your presence.)
What to do better next time:
- Bait to invest and qualify
- Half-a-hug ("You're giving me a lousy half-a-hug back ;)")
- "Hold this"
- "Tell me a joke"
- "What's your favourite place on your body to be kissed besides your lips"
- Sexual frames
- "You look like a nice girl on the outside, but I detect a serious naughty side."
- "You look really adventurous, kinda like the type of girl that really goes for what she wants and isn't afraid to let herself have some fun."
- Strawberry fields
- Story about how sex isn't a big deal and how it won't get weird afterwards.
- Say overtly sexual shit to build more sexual tension
- You're really an awesome person, I like you, I'm really glad I met you. Don't get any ideas, I'm trying to get into your pants, but if nothing happens I'm glad I met you. ;)
- "Too bad we're in a club, or else I'd throw you up against that couch, bend you over and take care of business... but, we're in a bar, So we can't do that ;)"
- “you’re lucky your friend is around or I would already be fingering you right now”
------------------------------
p.s. What does it mean when she doesn't caress your hands back, but she just sorta takes it and lets me caress hers, because this happens to me A LOT.
Is the girl shy or something? Or do I need to escalate the vibe more?
Saw 2 hot girls behind me in line to buy coins for alcohol, didn't approach: -1 social momentum
started walking towards the dance floor, some hot girls walked by, didn't approach: -2 social momentum
and I was thinking to myself: "yeah approaching sucks and yeah rejection sucks, but fuck it... this night is gonna fucking suck if I don't step up right now and go do something"
then approached a girl who was passing by: "Hey, you look beautiful and I had to come meet you", her: "Yea thx, and sorry got to go meet my friends" and she started walking away
so I grabbed her hand, pulled her in close and tried to go for makeout, her: "yea cool, sorry, got to go".
After all the negative social momentum I build, this 1 approach alone didn't get me in: Social God Mode (e.g. Fuck the ego Mode), but AA was definitely less (And with AA I mean being in your head)
But at least I had less negative social momentum.
Went to smoking area, saw hot girl, and tried talking myself out of approaching again.
so I grabbed my friend and told the chick: "Hey, it's my buddy's birthday give him a birthday kiss"
she refused, but wished him a happy birthday... at this point I merged the set of my friends and hers. Go me.
Then went back to the dancefloor, saw a chick, tried to dance with her, rejected
Saw another chick, smoking hot, with 5 sorta tough guys around her, gave her my hand and tried to dance with her, rejected
so I ignored rejection and just grabbed her hand and got rejected again. (Should've gotten closer, I was way too far away from her)
I wanted to push resistance even more with the chick, but I started looking around me and for the first time in my life I was actually pretty fucking scared that I was gonna get knifed right then and there... I mean, I saw that there were 5 dudes with her and I was like; "Fuck it, it's scary and that's why I should do it.", but I didn't realize how intimidating they were until I got close and opened the chick.
I realized it wasn't worth getting knifed over, so I ejected.
5 guys laughing at my rejection, lol, who gives a fuck, I tried anyway... and I know at least 4 of them wants to fuck the girl but are too pussy to make a move, they can't judge me for trying ;)
Saw another chick, introduced myself to her AND her friends and then grabbed her hand and danced with her, went for mutual hand caressing... it wasn't mutual, but I was caressing her hand and she was okay with it.
Went for makeout, got it.
While making out I put my knee in between her legs and starting rubbing her pussy lol. Also grabbed and caressed her ass a couple of times. Got no objections.
I figured I should just try and pull her home now so I told her: "Let's go", while pulling her physically.
She asked: "Where to?"
I said: "We're going on an adventure, don't worry it'll be fun ;)"
she said: "Noooo, I do crazy stuff when I'm drunk :D"
I tried to get past resistance; "that's alright, me2, let's go ;)"
her: "Nonononono!! :D", she pulled back
so some more dancing ensued, *number exchange*
Me: "Let's take a picture"
Her: "Nooooo, I'd rather not!"
Me: "Ok cool, I like being discreet anyway ;)"
Spun her around and she started to grind on me, I told her she smelled nice, got a thanks.
Then grabbed her hand and put it on my erected cock, and told her: "This is what you're doing to me, it's your fault". She laughed.
Grabbed and caressed her ass and told her "She should stop being so sexy, it won't work on me." She laughed.
Tried to pull her again, she rejected and then she got pulled away by friends. She promised she'd call me tomorrow.
Later on I saw her at the smoking area, opened her again and build some comfort. (What do you do for fun, etc (While caressing her back, trying to turn her on))
I figured I should build some comfort else I'd never see her again outside the club (had it happen loads of times, she'll like you in the club, but the next day she won't know who you are other than the really hot "sexual" guy in the club and get flakes)
Went for mutual hand caressing again, only it wasn't mutual (wtf?), she just sorta let me caress her hands...
I figured the SNL isn't happening so I tried to setup a day2:
me: "Do you like movies?"
her: "Yeah"
me: "ok cool, on sunday me and my friends are going to see this movie in theaters, you should come",
she said she had other plans (Birthday or something)
She went on to the dancefloor, we both agree we'd see eachother on the dancefloor again, but I didn't see her and we didn't meet up.
It was funny, cause she looked like the typical "nice" girl and I thought I wouldn't get away with so much... funny how our judgments usually suck.
Later on tried some more sets to dance, but got rejected.
------------------------------
My magic number = 5, not bad.
(A magic number is how many women you have to contact before you find one who has interest in you based solely on your presence.)
What to do better next time:
- Bait to invest and qualify
- Half-a-hug ("You're giving me a lousy half-a-hug back ;)")
- "Hold this"
- "Tell me a joke"
- "What's your favourite place on your body to be kissed besides your lips"
- Sexual frames
- "You look like a nice girl on the outside, but I detect a serious naughty side."
- "You look really adventurous, kinda like the type of girl that really goes for what she wants and isn't afraid to let herself have some fun."
- Strawberry fields
- Story about how sex isn't a big deal and how it won't get weird afterwards.
- Say overtly sexual shit to build more sexual tension
- You're really an awesome person, I like you, I'm really glad I met you. Don't get any ideas, I'm trying to get into your pants, but if nothing happens I'm glad I met you. ;)
- "Too bad we're in a club, or else I'd throw you up against that couch, bend you over and take care of business... but, we're in a bar, So we can't do that ;)"
- “you’re lucky your friend is around or I would already be fingering you right now”
------------------------------
p.s. What does it mean when she doesn't caress your hands back, but she just sorta takes it and lets me caress hers, because this happens to me A LOT.
Is the girl shy or something? Or do I need to escalate the vibe more?
Friday, March 18, 2011
The Long Hard Road? by Richard La Ruina (Gambler)
-It works
-It works for everyone (yes even you)
-It works fast and it’s easy.
Here’s the truth on these promises when it comes to good Pickup training:
-Yes it works
-It works to an extent for everyone
-It can be fast-ish and easy-ish but that isn’t always the case.
-THERE WILL BE SOME TOUGH TIMES!
Let me break down the truth behind the marketing…
Pick Up definitely works, there is a mountain of undeniable evidence of guys that have transformed their lives. The big question is how quickly and easily it works. I’ll be able to give you an idea of that, first let me ask you a few questions:
-Have you slept with and had relationships with some women already?
-Are you comfortable in some social situations?
-Do you have natural qualities of either humour, cockiness, story-telling skills, interesting life experience, acting, dancing.
-Do you have female friends?
-Are you successful and confident in a particular area – eg work or sport?
-Are you in decent shape and do you dress pretty well?
-Are you good at picking up new skills quickly?
-Are you intelligent?
You can take the above and assign a few points for each “Yes” answer and then add them together to see how much you can likely achieve in a given period of time. Guys that have a few of the above going for them will be at an advantage. It’s not the same for everyone, these guys WILL be better than guys that say “no” to the above. A guy that is confident at work, has interesting stuff to talk about, has some natural conversational quality and has some experience with women could get this area totally handled in a few hours. A guy that has never kissed a girl, is unemployed, and has nothing interesting going on might take months to even get a number (assuming he doesn’t do some intense training like the Residential Course).
I was a guy who started game at 25. At that point i’d had a girlfriend and slept with one other girl, those were also the only girls i’d kissed. I had no female friends, and no real male friends. I was bad in all social or group situations, comfortable talking with my mum but not naturally funny or good at telling stories. I was good at learning things quickly and was intelligent. I was confident on the stock market but this didn’t translate to dealing with people in that realm since I did it all from home by myself with just the computer for company. My starting point was lower than 90% of the students I see.
And now the final point, the thing the marketers never mention – It can be very fucking tough!
When you are gaming, you are putting your soul on the line. You are sticking your neck out. You are rolling the dice. It’s not like signing up to that distance learning course, this is something you have to do, more like tennis lessons. Except we don’t really care if we are good at tennis, we can live with always being shit at tennis, at being “the kind of person that will always SUCK at tennis”, we can’t live with always being shit with women, we’d rather be dead. We need that hope that we will someday be good. That hope is something that we can cling to.
When we start taking action we are giving away our hope and exchanging it for either:
-Success with women
-The memory of the attempt at being successful which failed.
In the second case, the hope has now gone, leaving us with nothing to live for. Depressing for sure, but this powerful force is what stops us taking the action that we think we should, we don’t want to give
our hope away and potentially exchange it for something far worse. It’s what held me back for so long. Understand this and you can take control. But let’s get on to what you can expect on any big journey…
There will be horrible times. You will be harshly rejected, and it will hurt. You will get a number and be so happy and then be dejected when she ignores your text. You will think a girl really likes you and then she will just stop answering your calls. You will get dumped, in some shit way like by email or facebook, and it’ll probably make you cry. If you learn this stuff over a few months you will have
to experience a whole 5-10 years of bad stuff in that condensed time.
Here’s the good news:
It’s no longer left to chance, each error can be corrected next time, you are playing a computer game with “infinite lives”. You WILL know what you did wrong. Each time you fuck up and fail you’ll be further along, you’ll never go back to zero. You can at least approach, you can at least get numbers, you can at least get into relationships in the first place, you at least know you can get another date. The lows stop feeling so bad and the highs get better and better. Just like the average self-made millionnaire who went bankrupt 5 times, you need to learn and fail and suffer MORE than the average guy in order to be stronger and better than the average guy. It’ll make you into the man you want to be instead of a pussy, no one does this and gets to the end and stays a pussy. It’ll root out all of the shit things about yourself and force you to become a better man.
So here I am…I feel like I got to where I want to be. I don’t make massive mistakes, I’ve made them all already. I make small ones, and those are correctable. I can meet a beautiful girl, I can fall for
her and she’ll fall for me, i’ll want her and she’ll want me, we’ll be happy together. If it doesn’t work out, there are other girls out there, amazing girls aren’t amazingly common but i’ll find one and it
won’t take too long. I can’t be crushed for too long, I can’t be lonely for too long, and i’ll never feel helpless – I can help myself. I don’t want to be a robot with no emotions, but my game protects me
from feeling the real lows because I always know that i’m never going back to the situation I was in.
In sum, yeah it’s scary, yeah it will be tough, but it’s a road that you’ve got to take if you want to be happy.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
To kiss, or not to kiss... that's the question.
I've realized something with the help of some awesome people.
Ozzie from "The Physical Game" keeps talking about making out in clubs and how it's a goal to strive for, many other PUA's concur as this provides for more sexual comfort.
However 60 Years of Challenge says you shouldn't do it cause it releases sexual tension, which is bad if you're going for SNL (Same Night Lays), Nick Quick (Adonis) from samenightseduction.com concurs. (A natural friend of mine pulls girls and has sex with them without kissing them once, he says he only kisses his girlfriend. He's afraid of woman giving blowjobs in clubs and afterward him kissing them.)
In my experience some chicks love it, but some (most) find it tacky because it shows indiscretion. (And going for SNL you'd want to show discretion right, else ASD (Anti slut defense) kicks in and they refuse to go home with you in fear of being perceived as a slut in her friends' eyes).
Also woman need the whole backwards rationalization, to not feel like a slut that just hooks up with random dudes in clubs; "We were just going to his house to play Guitar Hero, and one thing led to another and we just had sex".
This doesn't really work anymore after you've kissed her and her friends see it. If she leaves with you it'll be obvious what's up.
So after some consideration I'm kinda leaning towards not making out in clubs now.
I'll probably only kiss in full blown isolation, somewhere in a corner where nobody sees it. And even then it's better not to... it decreases sexual tension, the most useful thing to pull SNL's.
One time I went out, on a not-so busy night, I was having a full on make-out session at the bar for the entire club to see... needless to say that woman were harder to open up after that. (Bartender got mad and threw lemons at us, telling us to get a room and shit lol)
Anyway, there's all these reasons NOT do it, and few reasons to do it.... (Oh yeah, it feels good too ;) Physically AND for the ego. But FUCK the ego, right?)
So you should stop being a mere “make out artist“ and start being a seducer who actually takes women home for sex.
Ozzie from "The Physical Game" keeps talking about making out in clubs and how it's a goal to strive for, many other PUA's concur as this provides for more sexual comfort.
However 60 Years of Challenge says you shouldn't do it cause it releases sexual tension, which is bad if you're going for SNL (Same Night Lays), Nick Quick (Adonis) from samenightseduction.com concurs. (A natural friend of mine pulls girls and has sex with them without kissing them once, he says he only kisses his girlfriend. He's afraid of woman giving blowjobs in clubs and afterward him kissing them.)
In my experience some chicks love it, but some (most) find it tacky because it shows indiscretion. (And going for SNL you'd want to show discretion right, else ASD (Anti slut defense) kicks in and they refuse to go home with you in fear of being perceived as a slut in her friends' eyes).
Also woman need the whole backwards rationalization, to not feel like a slut that just hooks up with random dudes in clubs; "We were just going to his house to play Guitar Hero, and one thing led to another and we just had sex".
This doesn't really work anymore after you've kissed her and her friends see it. If she leaves with you it'll be obvious what's up.
So after some consideration I'm kinda leaning towards not making out in clubs now.
I'll probably only kiss in full blown isolation, somewhere in a corner where nobody sees it. And even then it's better not to... it decreases sexual tension, the most useful thing to pull SNL's.
One time I went out, on a not-so busy night, I was having a full on make-out session at the bar for the entire club to see... needless to say that woman were harder to open up after that. (Bartender got mad and threw lemons at us, telling us to get a room and shit lol)
Anyway, there's all these reasons NOT do it, and few reasons to do it.... (Oh yeah, it feels good too ;) Physically AND for the ego. But FUCK the ego, right?)
So you should stop being a mere “make out artist“ and start being a seducer who actually takes women home for sex.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
My PUA journey has been long and hard...
I just wanted to share with you the road I went through, the sticking points I THOUGHT I had and how I overcame them.
I first learned about the community when I was 18 years old. A girl I thought was my girlfriend had sex with another guy, she admitted to it. I was disappointed and my young mind couldn't realize the fact that WE WEREN'T IN AN EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. She didn't cheat, she wasn't in the wrong. Anyway, I got really mad, called her a slut and that was that. Now looking back I was so ignorant haha. Poor girl...
After this I was so frustrated with my unsuccessful sex life that I went online to search for tips on how to get better with woman, and thus found the community.
First book I read was "The Game", by Neil Strauss. I thought I had it, all my problems would be solved! I couldn't stop reading it.... my first mistake.
1. I know all this material, if I can only get over this approach anxiety THEN I'll get results!
I've been reading for a year now... I read everything I could get my hands on... David DeAngelo, Mystery, etc. But I never actually approached anyone and tried it out in-field... I thought that if I ever happen to get into a conversation that I would know what to say and when to say it and girls would throw themselves at me... I bought into the PUA myth. Anyway, after a while (and by being literally pushed by a natural friend) I opened my first girl @ November 29, 2009. That whole night I didn't have AA, only to get it again the next night. Then I realized that I had to overcome it EVERY night. Some nights I did, some nights I didn't. But it didn't matter, because I had reached my second sticking point.
2. I can finally approach, but damnit, sets aren't hooking, if I can just get sets to hook THEN I'll get results!
Most of us come in the community as social retards. Admit it. And whenever I approached people I was nervous as fuck, and I wasn't smiling... basically I was just being really weird. Add this to the weird shit I was saying on opening ("Who lies more men or woman?" WHO GIVES A FUCK!) and you've got yourself a recipe for disaster. I eventually overcame it by smiling while approaching... I was still saying weird shit, but it came out better after some practice and I became congruent with it... cool, sets are hooking now, they are friendly while I approach. However, after the opener I run out of shit to say... so that was my 3rd sticking point.
3. I got sets hooking but now I run out of stuff to say... if I just build up a huge enough routine stack and know enough fluff talk THEN I'll get results!
So... instead of going out in-field, I hit the books.... read EVERY single thing I could find again for like 6 months, and had I think could be close to a 12 hour routine stack. Every day I would rehearse them, from the cube, to the trust test, to "You must be best friends, you make the same facial expressions!". I even practiced the cube on my friends first before I would throw myself into the sharks. I was afraid to mess it up and say the wrong thing with a complete stranger. Thinking back now makes me realize how far I've come since then. It's the making mistakes in-field what makes you grow and become better in the end. ;)
Anyway, it wasn't long before my next sticking point showed it's ugly face... I got a 12 hour routine stack, but I have no experience with it. After I went in-field and tried it out I realized that....
4. I don't know WHEN to use WHAT... if I just fix my inner game I'll know what to do NATURALLY and THEN I'll get results!
I didn't know the reason routines worked, I was throwing negs out there, using the cube, DHV story after DHV story, more negs, it didn't make sense. I was at a loss.... this was when I found a new revelation to game, the so called "inner game".
And I figured; if I just fix my inner game I'll know what to do NATURALLY and THEN I'll get results! So... I started reading again, did meditations daily, visualization techniques, affirmations, etc. I did all that shit, none of it worked. It's all bullshit, providing a quick fix. Your outer game is EVERYTHING, that's how people perceive you. If you feel crap, but you're still opening/escalating, you'll see results (Feeling crappy is a weird thing in and of itself, I never feel like going out, but when I'm there I feel awesome). Well, actually inner game is pretty important, because if you feel like depressed and shit you'll make other people feel like shit just from being in that negative state. But inner game is not the end all miracle to make all your fears and anxiety's go away. I'm saying this because you could feel AMAZING, be in state, be confident and all that shit, but if you still have no idea on what the fuck to do you're nowhere.
I took a break from game at this point, it was getting too weird... all the routines and shit, who am I? I was more confused than ever. And still no results.
5. The break, FUCK results!
What did help me at this point however was that I figured that people can actually like me for me, and not how big my routine stack is, so I dropped it. All of it, and just became normal. I started working on getting my body language in check (Being laid back, walking up straight, etc), getting my eye contact in check (holding it longer than before, and always trying to be the last one to break it), working on my conversation and social skills (fluff talk and talking about WHY people do what they do, basically becoming curious about people and focusing on living in the moment and not in my head thinking about what routine to use next).
I had a new motto and still live by it to this day; "If you think it, say it and if you desire it, go for it." Speaks for itself really. See hot woman, see how your mind tries to come up with bullshit excuses: "She's too hot", "She won't like you", "You'll run out of shit to say", etc, and then going for it anyway and seeing how wrong your mind is at judging the situation. Also when in conversation if I think it, I must say it. My mind always tries to talk me out of it: "It's not good enough", "Think of something better", etc. However this puts me straight back in my head and not in the moment. Not good.
Anyway, at this time I was basically normal, I could have normal conversations with people about bullshit, crack a few jokes and people liked me for me, I could even get numbers pretty easily at this point. Awesome. Little did I know that numbers mean shit. This got me to my next sticking point.
6. I can fluff talk about bullshit, and I'm not afraid to: tease/role-play/be Cocky&Funny/etc), but for some reason my conversations lack depth... if I can just build a deep connection I'll get woman thinking I'm their soul-mate and THEN I'll get results!
Well, you can see why having a deep connection could be helpful, and it was... for making friends. I asked people WHY they did certain things, cold reads, got in deeper, and was making awesome.... friends. I figured something was missing. Woman never saw me in THAT way. So I went back online and searched on PUA forums on how to stay clear of the LJBF-zone (Let's just be friends zone).
7. If I can just turn stuff sexual THEN I'll get results!
At this point I met samenightseduction.com, and instead of going indirect over the shoulder shit I went direct.... hardcore haha, saying to woman I wanted to fuck them, being overtly sexual with touch, telling woman their naughty etc. At some point I even said to a girl on the opener: "Hey, wanna fuck?", and she went crazy, threatening to have her posse beat me up and shit... was pretty funny. I still think she didn't want to be seen as a slut, but the fact that she invested so much energy in cussing me out showed that she cared. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. Hate is just another form of love.
Anyway after a while, and a little more practice/calibration I started to notice HOW and WHEN to set sexual frames, build tension, show sexual intention, etc. (Not yet a pro at it though, not even close).
Anyway, I realized I was blowing sets a lot by being way too available and sexually forward that it came across as being needy. So, my next sticking point came a long.
8. I can turn stuff sexual and show intent, now women know I like them and they accept it (Going direct on opener, Sexual tension, Setting sexual frames, etc) but I'm way too available and pushing forward, if I can just step back (break rapport) and bait them to invest in the conversation and qualify, then they'll be chasing ME and THEN I'll get results!
So... this is basically where I am now, 3 years later (1 year reading, 1 year getting my social life together and defeating some mad inner demons/negative beliefs and 4 months of actively gaming/seducing). And looking back I think to myself that I've wasted a lot of time on Mystery Method, being indirect and being super social (while I'm actually not even extroverted).... but I actually didn't waste anything. Sure if you look at it from a "getting laid" point of view. But before I found the community and started practicing I've never laughed out loud with a complete stranger unless it was a nervous laugh. Like really being free and social, making up jokes, getting people to laugh. I don't go out my way to approach EVERY group of people in the venue anymore except for hot girls (cause I wanna get laid of course), but if I DO happen to strike a conversation with someone, or get introduced to someone by a mutual friend I know now that I can have a good time with that person (assuming he/she is a cool person).
On to my game/sticking point atm; I'm in a predicament, because as of lately I've been reading 60 Years of Challenge (it's amazing!) and I've basically been trying to fit that into my current game, and I think I've got it figured out... the problem is 60 says don't break rapport, fair enough, I'll try not to... even though I've got this massive history and ingrained cocky&funny attitude going for me now that it's gonna be hard. (C&F breaks rapport). Going sexual actually breaks rapport too, so it's kinda confusing.
In most of the methods you have to:
1. Convince her to like you (but not in a sexual manner)
2. Now you have to convince her to have sex with you.
The shortcut is to show that you can provide her sex/pleasure, don't worry so much about selling yourself all too much. Pleasure sells itself. WOMAN LOVE TO FUCK. (Sex is a mood based thing, if you both like each other and sex isn't happening, she has to get in the mood first.)
My current game is (And what I'm going to be practicing for the next couple of months):
1. Going direct
2. showing nonverbal sexual intent (imagining fucking them), basically escalating the vibe (eye contact, close proximity, some touching)
3. Going for the IOM (It's on moment = Mutual hand caressing)
4. Arousing her sexually and building sexual tension (non-verbally by caressing her body, and verbally by saying shit I want to do to her, but putting a barrier up so it's socially acceptable, ie "Too bad we're in a bar or I'd throw you on that bar-stool, bend you over and take care of business, BUT we're in a bar, so we can't do that.", NOT: "I WANT TO FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU RIGHT NOW", big difference).
5. Leading her out of the club; "(Let)Skow!".
Of course a pickup is never this smooth, there's resistance a long the way and of course this is where game and practice comes in to play. If you say: "Hey, let's get out of here", and she says: "Nah... I wanna stay." NOW you better install some sexual frames and get her more comfortable with the idea of sex.
Setting sexual frames and my overall game is a mixture of these:
1. 60 Years of Challenge (He keeps stuff simple and basic, but it works.)
2. Captain Jack/Sinn/Adonis (Specializes in same night lays, sexual frames etc)
3. Richard Gambler (Kino escalation while being DISCREET)
4. AFC Adam Lyons (Social proof)
5. Kezia Noble (Conversation skills and deep rapport -> more for daygame, but good if you want to get less flakes)
6. Andy Yosha, SashaPUA, etc from: daygame.com
Of course lots of advice clashes, if you take it from different instructors, so I took what worked for me and suits my personality. But being direct, honest, humble, sexual and playful is my general guideline.
p.s. After all this, the excuse of: "I don't know what to say" and "I'm gonna run out of things to say" still enter my mind... it's weird how the mind works.
I first learned about the community when I was 18 years old. A girl I thought was my girlfriend had sex with another guy, she admitted to it. I was disappointed and my young mind couldn't realize the fact that WE WEREN'T IN AN EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. She didn't cheat, she wasn't in the wrong. Anyway, I got really mad, called her a slut and that was that. Now looking back I was so ignorant haha. Poor girl...
After this I was so frustrated with my unsuccessful sex life that I went online to search for tips on how to get better with woman, and thus found the community.
First book I read was "The Game", by Neil Strauss. I thought I had it, all my problems would be solved! I couldn't stop reading it.... my first mistake.
1. I know all this material, if I can only get over this approach anxiety THEN I'll get results!
I've been reading for a year now... I read everything I could get my hands on... David DeAngelo, Mystery, etc. But I never actually approached anyone and tried it out in-field... I thought that if I ever happen to get into a conversation that I would know what to say and when to say it and girls would throw themselves at me... I bought into the PUA myth. Anyway, after a while (and by being literally pushed by a natural friend) I opened my first girl @ November 29, 2009. That whole night I didn't have AA, only to get it again the next night. Then I realized that I had to overcome it EVERY night. Some nights I did, some nights I didn't. But it didn't matter, because I had reached my second sticking point.
2. I can finally approach, but damnit, sets aren't hooking, if I can just get sets to hook THEN I'll get results!
Most of us come in the community as social retards. Admit it. And whenever I approached people I was nervous as fuck, and I wasn't smiling... basically I was just being really weird. Add this to the weird shit I was saying on opening ("Who lies more men or woman?" WHO GIVES A FUCK!) and you've got yourself a recipe for disaster. I eventually overcame it by smiling while approaching... I was still saying weird shit, but it came out better after some practice and I became congruent with it... cool, sets are hooking now, they are friendly while I approach. However, after the opener I run out of shit to say... so that was my 3rd sticking point.
3. I got sets hooking but now I run out of stuff to say... if I just build up a huge enough routine stack and know enough fluff talk THEN I'll get results!
So... instead of going out in-field, I hit the books.... read EVERY single thing I could find again for like 6 months, and had I think could be close to a 12 hour routine stack. Every day I would rehearse them, from the cube, to the trust test, to "You must be best friends, you make the same facial expressions!". I even practiced the cube on my friends first before I would throw myself into the sharks. I was afraid to mess it up and say the wrong thing with a complete stranger. Thinking back now makes me realize how far I've come since then. It's the making mistakes in-field what makes you grow and become better in the end. ;)
Anyway, it wasn't long before my next sticking point showed it's ugly face... I got a 12 hour routine stack, but I have no experience with it. After I went in-field and tried it out I realized that....
4. I don't know WHEN to use WHAT... if I just fix my inner game I'll know what to do NATURALLY and THEN I'll get results!
I didn't know the reason routines worked, I was throwing negs out there, using the cube, DHV story after DHV story, more negs, it didn't make sense. I was at a loss.... this was when I found a new revelation to game, the so called "inner game".
And I figured; if I just fix my inner game I'll know what to do NATURALLY and THEN I'll get results! So... I started reading again, did meditations daily, visualization techniques, affirmations, etc. I did all that shit, none of it worked. It's all bullshit, providing a quick fix. Your outer game is EVERYTHING, that's how people perceive you. If you feel crap, but you're still opening/escalating, you'll see results (Feeling crappy is a weird thing in and of itself, I never feel like going out, but when I'm there I feel awesome). Well, actually inner game is pretty important, because if you feel like depressed and shit you'll make other people feel like shit just from being in that negative state. But inner game is not the end all miracle to make all your fears and anxiety's go away. I'm saying this because you could feel AMAZING, be in state, be confident and all that shit, but if you still have no idea on what the fuck to do you're nowhere.
I took a break from game at this point, it was getting too weird... all the routines and shit, who am I? I was more confused than ever. And still no results.
5. The break, FUCK results!
What did help me at this point however was that I figured that people can actually like me for me, and not how big my routine stack is, so I dropped it. All of it, and just became normal. I started working on getting my body language in check (Being laid back, walking up straight, etc), getting my eye contact in check (holding it longer than before, and always trying to be the last one to break it), working on my conversation and social skills (fluff talk and talking about WHY people do what they do, basically becoming curious about people and focusing on living in the moment and not in my head thinking about what routine to use next).
I had a new motto and still live by it to this day; "If you think it, say it and if you desire it, go for it." Speaks for itself really. See hot woman, see how your mind tries to come up with bullshit excuses: "She's too hot", "She won't like you", "You'll run out of shit to say", etc, and then going for it anyway and seeing how wrong your mind is at judging the situation. Also when in conversation if I think it, I must say it. My mind always tries to talk me out of it: "It's not good enough", "Think of something better", etc. However this puts me straight back in my head and not in the moment. Not good.
Anyway, at this time I was basically normal, I could have normal conversations with people about bullshit, crack a few jokes and people liked me for me, I could even get numbers pretty easily at this point. Awesome. Little did I know that numbers mean shit. This got me to my next sticking point.
6. I can fluff talk about bullshit, and I'm not afraid to: tease/role-play/be Cocky&Funny/etc), but for some reason my conversations lack depth... if I can just build a deep connection I'll get woman thinking I'm their soul-mate and THEN I'll get results!
Well, you can see why having a deep connection could be helpful, and it was... for making friends. I asked people WHY they did certain things, cold reads, got in deeper, and was making awesome.... friends. I figured something was missing. Woman never saw me in THAT way. So I went back online and searched on PUA forums on how to stay clear of the LJBF-zone (Let's just be friends zone).
7. If I can just turn stuff sexual THEN I'll get results!
At this point I met samenightseduction.com, and instead of going indirect over the shoulder shit I went direct.... hardcore haha, saying to woman I wanted to fuck them, being overtly sexual with touch, telling woman their naughty etc. At some point I even said to a girl on the opener: "Hey, wanna fuck?", and she went crazy, threatening to have her posse beat me up and shit... was pretty funny. I still think she didn't want to be seen as a slut, but the fact that she invested so much energy in cussing me out showed that she cared. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. Hate is just another form of love.
Anyway after a while, and a little more practice/calibration I started to notice HOW and WHEN to set sexual frames, build tension, show sexual intention, etc. (Not yet a pro at it though, not even close).
Anyway, I realized I was blowing sets a lot by being way too available and sexually forward that it came across as being needy. So, my next sticking point came a long.
8. I can turn stuff sexual and show intent, now women know I like them and they accept it (Going direct on opener, Sexual tension, Setting sexual frames, etc) but I'm way too available and pushing forward, if I can just step back (break rapport) and bait them to invest in the conversation and qualify, then they'll be chasing ME and THEN I'll get results!
So... this is basically where I am now, 3 years later (1 year reading, 1 year getting my social life together and defeating some mad inner demons/negative beliefs and 4 months of actively gaming/seducing). And looking back I think to myself that I've wasted a lot of time on Mystery Method, being indirect and being super social (while I'm actually not even extroverted).... but I actually didn't waste anything. Sure if you look at it from a "getting laid" point of view. But before I found the community and started practicing I've never laughed out loud with a complete stranger unless it was a nervous laugh. Like really being free and social, making up jokes, getting people to laugh. I don't go out my way to approach EVERY group of people in the venue anymore except for hot girls (cause I wanna get laid of course), but if I DO happen to strike a conversation with someone, or get introduced to someone by a mutual friend I know now that I can have a good time with that person (assuming he/she is a cool person).
On to my game/sticking point atm; I'm in a predicament, because as of lately I've been reading 60 Years of Challenge (it's amazing!) and I've basically been trying to fit that into my current game, and I think I've got it figured out... the problem is 60 says don't break rapport, fair enough, I'll try not to... even though I've got this massive history and ingrained cocky&funny attitude going for me now that it's gonna be hard. (C&F breaks rapport). Going sexual actually breaks rapport too, so it's kinda confusing.
In most of the methods you have to:
1. Convince her to like you (but not in a sexual manner)
2. Now you have to convince her to have sex with you.
The shortcut is to show that you can provide her sex/pleasure, don't worry so much about selling yourself all too much. Pleasure sells itself. WOMAN LOVE TO FUCK. (Sex is a mood based thing, if you both like each other and sex isn't happening, she has to get in the mood first.)
My current game is (And what I'm going to be practicing for the next couple of months):
1. Going direct
2. showing nonverbal sexual intent (imagining fucking them), basically escalating the vibe (eye contact, close proximity, some touching)
3. Going for the IOM (It's on moment = Mutual hand caressing)
4. Arousing her sexually and building sexual tension (non-verbally by caressing her body, and verbally by saying shit I want to do to her, but putting a barrier up so it's socially acceptable, ie "Too bad we're in a bar or I'd throw you on that bar-stool, bend you over and take care of business, BUT we're in a bar, so we can't do that.", NOT: "I WANT TO FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU RIGHT NOW", big difference).
5. Leading her out of the club; "(Let)Skow!".
Of course a pickup is never this smooth, there's resistance a long the way and of course this is where game and practice comes in to play. If you say: "Hey, let's get out of here", and she says: "Nah... I wanna stay." NOW you better install some sexual frames and get her more comfortable with the idea of sex.
Setting sexual frames and my overall game is a mixture of these:
1. 60 Years of Challenge (He keeps stuff simple and basic, but it works.)
2. Captain Jack/Sinn/Adonis (Specializes in same night lays, sexual frames etc)
3. Richard Gambler (Kino escalation while being DISCREET)
4. AFC Adam Lyons (Social proof)
5. Kezia Noble (Conversation skills and deep rapport -> more for daygame, but good if you want to get less flakes)
6. Andy Yosha, SashaPUA, etc from: daygame.com
Of course lots of advice clashes, if you take it from different instructors, so I took what worked for me and suits my personality. But being direct, honest, humble, sexual and playful is my general guideline.
p.s. After all this, the excuse of: "I don't know what to say" and "I'm gonna run out of things to say" still enter my mind... it's weird how the mind works.
Was gonna go out, but didn't
I really felt like going out and working on my game today, after reading through 60s books and having them applied to my game and seeing the results, I wanted more.... I wanted to test how far I could push it, I wanted to creep woman the fuck out.
But I didn't. I couldn't find anyone to go out with, and when someone finally decided to show up I was sitting at home at 11PM, half-drunk and not in the mood anymore.
I've had many times where I didn't feel like going out and went anyway and had the time of my life, but for some reason I couldn't convince myself today. And I still regret it. As every hour passed on the clock I was telling my friends: "Damn, I really wish I went out tonight" till the point they got sick of it.
I wasted another day, I could've gotten better.... I could've gotten laid.
I didn't feel like going out alone either, I've done it before, it's not as enjoyable as with friends I already connect with and KNOW I'll have a good time with. Guys who are at the venue are usually pretty boring, and girls at the venue usually blow me out quickly or I have an awesome interaction with them. With no base to chill and hang out with it's pretty boring getting blown out by strings of sets and then having no woman to game anymore until new ones arrive.
Also the last few times I went out I was pretty hammered, I sometimes feel like I still can't get over AA (like once every 5 nights I go out), and am scared that I'll go out and won't get over it and won't talk to fucking anyone and it's gonna suck.... not only that but I'll waste money and time. What a fucking bullshit limiting belief haha when I go out it's gonna be awesome ;) I've never had a night where I went out and went: Man this night fucking sucks.... never.
Maybe it was just a couple of bad nights when I went out alone.... maybe I'll try and go out alone again. Actually, fuck it, I will... starting next month (15th of april), I'm going out every saturday, whether I can get people to join me or not. I guess I'll just fly solo. Can't wait...
"I really enjoy creepy. In fact, I love creepy. I just love putting the pressure on her. Watching women fidget and get nervous. Awesome! I can’t wait to creep some women out tonight.
Your biggest weapons for seducing her are eye-contact, moving closer and touch. And they all come with the risk of creepy."
-60 Years of Challenge
But I didn't. I couldn't find anyone to go out with, and when someone finally decided to show up I was sitting at home at 11PM, half-drunk and not in the mood anymore.
I've had many times where I didn't feel like going out and went anyway and had the time of my life, but for some reason I couldn't convince myself today. And I still regret it. As every hour passed on the clock I was telling my friends: "Damn, I really wish I went out tonight" till the point they got sick of it.
I wasted another day, I could've gotten better.... I could've gotten laid.
I didn't feel like going out alone either, I've done it before, it's not as enjoyable as with friends I already connect with and KNOW I'll have a good time with. Guys who are at the venue are usually pretty boring, and girls at the venue usually blow me out quickly or I have an awesome interaction with them. With no base to chill and hang out with it's pretty boring getting blown out by strings of sets and then having no woman to game anymore until new ones arrive.
Also the last few times I went out I was pretty hammered, I sometimes feel like I still can't get over AA (like once every 5 nights I go out), and am scared that I'll go out and won't get over it and won't talk to fucking anyone and it's gonna suck.... not only that but I'll waste money and time. What a fucking bullshit limiting belief haha when I go out it's gonna be awesome ;) I've never had a night where I went out and went: Man this night fucking sucks.... never.
Maybe it was just a couple of bad nights when I went out alone.... maybe I'll try and go out alone again. Actually, fuck it, I will... starting next month (15th of april), I'm going out every saturday, whether I can get people to join me or not. I guess I'll just fly solo. Can't wait...
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Sexual Frames, use them when they make sense!
Only use sexual frames when they make sense. For instance I was trying to find out every possible way to show that I'm secretive..... over text. It doesn't make sense, only when the girl is in a relationship or with her friends in the club does it make sense for you to be secretive.
For instance, this chick had a boyfriend so it makes sense to show I'm secretive:
Me: Some people think it's weird when you talk to them on the street, but when you go out everyone's social!
Me: And sometimes I get a face like: "Do I know you?" or "What do you want?"
Her: yea I know, you should just kick their asses :P
Me: haha, alright, next time we're walking in the mall we'll kick someone's ass ;)
Her: sure, let's do it!
Me: haha, kick ppl's asses.... that's pretty naughty of you if I say so myself
Her: naughty eh? pffff haha, admit it... you want to do it too!
Me: Only if no one finds out ;) And I'm good at keeping secrets so if we end up in jail it's your fault! ;)
Me: You're good at keeping secrets right?
Her: haha, I am, I won't tell anything, u can trust me
Me: Cool haha, then we can do whatever we want... in the mall. ;)
Her: Something like that, yea ;)
This isn't the only conversation I had with this girl, and from previous conversations the sexual underlying tones are pretty apparent. Setting the secretive frame is essential for her to contemplate doing ANYTHING with me, or she'll risk getting caught.
I tried setting the frame of being secretive with another chick, she had no boyfriend and so through text it doesn't make sense to set it. Normal conversation ensued and right as I texted: Are you good at keeping secrets?
She had no idea what the underlying tone was (When setting these frames you have to have an underlying baseline of sexual attraction for it to make sense, so both of you know: aaahhh yeah, I'm secretive so we can fuck without anyone judging ;))
Also, some chicks won't accept the frame of them being naughty.... try to push the frame (Nono, I can tell you're naughty on the inside, but don't worry, I won't tell anyone), if they keep persisting that they're not, don't try and set even stronger sexual frames.... she's not ready for them.
This happened with one chick where I said she's naughty, she wouldn't accept it, I pushed, she wouldn't accept it and a while later I told her she's wicked and needs to be spanked. -> No reply.
Same with another chick.
Lessons: Learn to calibrate where she's at and how strong of a sexual frame you can set. If she won't accept something weak, don't try to use a stronger one until she's comfortable with the weaker one first.
For instance, this chick had a boyfriend so it makes sense to show I'm secretive:
Me: Some people think it's weird when you talk to them on the street, but when you go out everyone's social!
Me: And sometimes I get a face like: "Do I know you?" or "What do you want?"
Her: yea I know, you should just kick their asses :P
Me: haha, alright, next time we're walking in the mall we'll kick someone's ass ;)
Her: sure, let's do it!
Me: haha, kick ppl's asses.... that's pretty naughty of you if I say so myself
Her: naughty eh? pffff haha, admit it... you want to do it too!
Me: Only if no one finds out ;) And I'm good at keeping secrets so if we end up in jail it's your fault! ;)
Me: You're good at keeping secrets right?
Her: haha, I am, I won't tell anything, u can trust me
Me: Cool haha, then we can do whatever we want... in the mall. ;)
Her: Something like that, yea ;)
This isn't the only conversation I had with this girl, and from previous conversations the sexual underlying tones are pretty apparent. Setting the secretive frame is essential for her to contemplate doing ANYTHING with me, or she'll risk getting caught.
I tried setting the frame of being secretive with another chick, she had no boyfriend and so through text it doesn't make sense to set it. Normal conversation ensued and right as I texted: Are you good at keeping secrets?
She had no idea what the underlying tone was (When setting these frames you have to have an underlying baseline of sexual attraction for it to make sense, so both of you know: aaahhh yeah, I'm secretive so we can fuck without anyone judging ;))
Also, some chicks won't accept the frame of them being naughty.... try to push the frame (Nono, I can tell you're naughty on the inside, but don't worry, I won't tell anyone), if they keep persisting that they're not, don't try and set even stronger sexual frames.... she's not ready for them.
This happened with one chick where I said she's naughty, she wouldn't accept it, I pushed, she wouldn't accept it and a while later I told her she's wicked and needs to be spanked. -> No reply.
Same with another chick.
Lessons: Learn to calibrate where she's at and how strong of a sexual frame you can set. If she won't accept something weak, don't try to use a stronger one until she's comfortable with the weaker one first.
FR: Going out + free coctails = bad news
Basically had a night out where I got free coctails all night and got so drunk that I barely remember my interactions with woman.
One thing that kept coming back, however is every time I set a low risk sexual frame (You look really cute on the outside, but I can tell on the inside you have a serious naughty side) I got blown out.
Her: Sorry, but I have to go
I think it was, because I was really drunk and couldn't handle my own state, so I said it in a really creepy turned on way.
Also I remember 1 convo with a girl and because I was drunk I couldn't calibrate her interest level, so I kept talking, but I ignored her answers. So after a while she went: Wow, could you please leave, you're talking bullshit.
So I went: No shit, I'm only trying to get into your pants.
Here the bartender told me to leave the girls alone, I could say he was jealous, but the truth is probably that I was being the "annoying drunk guy".
I also remember that I was dancing close with chicks and locking eye contact all that good stuff, but because I was too drunk I remember me going in my head: "fuck talking, I just wanna dance".
Result: Girls lost interest after a while, next time goal is to get a basic convo going (not too much, it's still dancing), and then get her from the dancefloor into the lounge area.
Basic convo is shit like: "You smell nice ;) I'm Coldman btw. *handshake and she tells me her name* are you adventurous, <girlsname>? Yes? Alright let's go on an adventure, I wanna show you something cool *take hand and lead*"
Note: A natural friend of mine goes around the dance floor, he doesn't dance; he approaches, talks, gets number, leaves... so it can be done on the dance floor.
On a sidenote: 1 of my friends threw up, and another one passed out. Free coctails ftw!
-----------
Lessons learned:
- Don't get fucking wasted, next time: No pre-drinks (before entering the club), and no hard liquor.
- Social Momentum, get the first approach out of the way, find the first hot/cute girl and approach, doesn't matter how it goes, just get it over with or else you're either gonna be too scared to do it or you've missed your chance (Don't get a drink, don't go dancing, don't circle around, don't go to the bathroom)
On a bad night I think: "That girl looks hot, should I approach? No, wait a minute, let's really check her out and see if she's as hot as I think.... alright, she is, now what can I say? What's my opener... alright cool, and then what do I say? alright cool... wait is that a good thing to say? Maybe I should try and say this, or this, or do this kino escalation technique..."
"hmmm, so confused, why I am not approaching yet? Is this approach anxiety? fuck, this is gonna be one of those nights again where I don't talk to fucking anybody, etc"
And on a good night I think: "That girl looks hot, should I approach? Yes and... see if she's also hot up close, and see if she's interested, and see if she accepts my sexual frame, and see how far I can escalate, and..."
What usually happens is I go in, opener, have a conversation and see what comes out of it IN THE MOMENT, not in my head.
p.s. I realized something; I was approaching instant and confidently. Usually you'll receive credit for this. But because it was apparent that I was drunk I didn't... they're thinking: "well, he approached me confidently... but oh wait, he's drunk... everyone's that drunk can do that, he's not confident at all."
One thing that kept coming back, however is every time I set a low risk sexual frame (You look really cute on the outside, but I can tell on the inside you have a serious naughty side) I got blown out.
Her: Sorry, but I have to go
I think it was, because I was really drunk and couldn't handle my own state, so I said it in a really creepy turned on way.
Also I remember 1 convo with a girl and because I was drunk I couldn't calibrate her interest level, so I kept talking, but I ignored her answers. So after a while she went: Wow, could you please leave, you're talking bullshit.
So I went: No shit, I'm only trying to get into your pants.
Here the bartender told me to leave the girls alone, I could say he was jealous, but the truth is probably that I was being the "annoying drunk guy".
I also remember that I was dancing close with chicks and locking eye contact all that good stuff, but because I was too drunk I remember me going in my head: "fuck talking, I just wanna dance".
Result: Girls lost interest after a while, next time goal is to get a basic convo going (not too much, it's still dancing), and then get her from the dancefloor into the lounge area.
Basic convo is shit like: "You smell nice ;) I'm Coldman btw. *handshake and she tells me her name* are you adventurous, <girlsname>? Yes? Alright let's go on an adventure, I wanna show you something cool *take hand and lead*"
Note: A natural friend of mine goes around the dance floor, he doesn't dance; he approaches, talks, gets number, leaves... so it can be done on the dance floor.
On a sidenote: 1 of my friends threw up, and another one passed out. Free coctails ftw!
-----------
Lessons learned:
- Don't get fucking wasted, next time: No pre-drinks (before entering the club), and no hard liquor.
- Social Momentum, get the first approach out of the way, find the first hot/cute girl and approach, doesn't matter how it goes, just get it over with or else you're either gonna be too scared to do it or you've missed your chance (Don't get a drink, don't go dancing, don't circle around, don't go to the bathroom)
On a bad night I think: "That girl looks hot, should I approach? No, wait a minute, let's really check her out and see if she's as hot as I think.... alright, she is, now what can I say? What's my opener... alright cool, and then what do I say? alright cool... wait is that a good thing to say? Maybe I should try and say this, or this, or do this kino escalation technique..."
"hmmm, so confused, why I am not approaching yet? Is this approach anxiety? fuck, this is gonna be one of those nights again where I don't talk to fucking anybody, etc"
And on a good night I think: "That girl looks hot, should I approach? Yes and... see if she's also hot up close, and see if she's interested, and see if she accepts my sexual frame, and see how far I can escalate, and..."
What usually happens is I go in, opener, have a conversation and see what comes out of it IN THE MOMENT, not in my head.
p.s. I realized something; I was approaching instant and confidently. Usually you'll receive credit for this. But because it was apparent that I was drunk I didn't... they're thinking: "well, he approached me confidently... but oh wait, he's drunk... everyone's that drunk can do that, he's not confident at all."
Some old field reports to get this blog started
Some old field reports to get this blog started and remind myself where I'm coming from.
--------------------------------
First field report ever (Start of the PUA journey):
PUA - FR 01 - 2009-11-29 - Blasting through approach anxiety (An aspiring PUA tale)
http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/here-vp302402.html
PUA - FR 02 - 2009-12-12 - Never learned so much before in 1 night:
http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/fr-2-never-learned-so-much-before-in-1-night-tips-pls-vt58112.html
PUA - FR 03 - 2009-12-18 - First time isolating and number close (No flake!):
http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/fr-03-first-time-isolating-and-number-close-no-flake-vt58340.html
PUA - FR 04 - 2010-04-11 - Attraction and how it works (social proof):
http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/-img-src-templates-boudoir-images-iconminipostgif-width-12-height-9-alt-post-title-post-border-0--vp344077.html
Tip: Social proof is bullshit and didn't help me AT ALL, read the field report for proof. Got some numbers, but all flaked, etc
PUA - FR 05 - 2010-11-22 - Sexual escalation
(coming soon, as this is where my game started taking a different road... from routines and being social to being sexual)
--------------------------------
First field report ever (Start of the PUA journey):
PUA - FR 01 - 2009-11-29 - Blasting through approach anxiety (An aspiring PUA tale)
http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/here-vp302402.html
PUA - FR 02 - 2009-12-12 - Never learned so much before in 1 night:
http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/fr-2-never-learned-so-much-before-in-1-night-tips-pls-vt58112.html
PUA - FR 03 - 2009-12-18 - First time isolating and number close (No flake!):
http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/fr-03-first-time-isolating-and-number-close-no-flake-vt58340.html
PUA - FR 04 - 2010-04-11 - Attraction and how it works (social proof):
http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/-img-src-templates-boudoir-images-iconminipostgif-width-12-height-9-alt-post-title-post-border-0--vp344077.html
Tip: Social proof is bullshit and didn't help me AT ALL, read the field report for proof. Got some numbers, but all flaked, etc
PUA - FR 05 - 2010-11-22 - Sexual escalation
(coming soon, as this is where my game started taking a different road... from routines and being social to being sexual)
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