Your mind is just a display of conditioning of your past, of thoughts, of things people have told you, things you've read, your own idea's, things you've watched on TV.... all of which changes.

Think back 10 years and you'll probably think; "Well, I thought I knew what was going on then, but now I'm 10 years older and now I REALLY know what's going on"

But of course, in another 10 years you'll feel like what you knew now was very immature.

We're constantly growing, therefore to trust your own mind is a mistake.
From: The Way of the Superior Man (by David Deida)

Friday, March 18, 2011

The Long Hard Road? by Richard La Ruina (Gambler)

If you read online marketing about getting women, it’s all about “in just 2 minutes”, the “5 secret steps”, the “simple proven method”…after a while we don’t believe any of it. This stops a lot of guys learning pick up. There are three things that marketers often promise with everything from pheromones to the latest PUA product:
-It works
-It works for everyone (yes even you)
-It works fast and it’s easy.

Here’s the truth on these promises when it comes to good Pickup training:
-Yes it works
-It works to an extent for everyone
-It can be fast-ish and easy-ish but that isn’t always the case.
-THERE WILL BE SOME TOUGH TIMES!

Let me break down the truth behind the marketing…

Pick Up definitely works, there is a mountain of undeniable evidence of guys that have transformed their lives. The big question is how quickly and easily it works. I’ll be able to give you an idea of that, first let me ask you a few questions:
-Have you slept with and had relationships with some women already?
-Are you comfortable in some social situations?
-Do you have natural qualities of either humour, cockiness, story-telling skills, interesting life experience, acting, dancing.
-Do you have female friends?
-Are you successful and confident in a particular area – eg work or sport?
-Are you in decent shape and do you dress pretty well?
-Are you good at picking up new skills quickly?
-Are you intelligent?

You can take the above and assign a few points for each “Yes” answer and then add them together to see how much you can likely achieve in a given period of time. Guys that have a few of the above going for them will be at an advantage. It’s not the same for everyone, these guys WILL be better than guys that say “no” to the above. A guy that is confident at work, has interesting stuff to talk about, has some natural conversational quality and has some experience with women could get this area totally handled in a few hours. A guy that has never kissed a girl, is unemployed, and has nothing interesting going on might take months to even get a number (assuming he doesn’t do some intense training like the Residential Course).

I was a guy who started game at 25. At that point i’d had a girlfriend and slept with one other girl, those were also the only girls i’d kissed. I had no female friends, and no real male friends. I was bad in all social or group situations, comfortable talking with my mum but not naturally funny or good at telling stories. I was good at learning things quickly and was intelligent. I was confident on the stock market but this didn’t translate to dealing with people in that realm since I did it all from home by myself with just the computer for company. My starting point was lower than 90% of the students I see.

And now the final point, the thing the marketers never mention – It can be very fucking tough!

When you are gaming, you are putting your soul on the line. You are sticking your neck out. You are rolling the dice. It’s not like signing up to that distance learning course, this is something you have to do, more like tennis lessons. Except we don’t really care if we are good at tennis, we can live with always being shit at tennis, at being “the kind of person that will always SUCK at tennis”, we can’t live with always being shit with women, we’d rather be dead. We need that hope that we will someday be good. That hope is something that we can cling to.

When we start taking action we are giving away our hope and exchanging it for either:
-Success with women
-The memory of the attempt at being successful which failed.

In the second case, the hope has now gone, leaving us with nothing to live for. Depressing for sure, but this powerful force is what stops us taking the action that we think we should, we don’t want to give
our hope away and potentially exchange it for something far worse. It’s what held me back for so long. Understand this and you can take control. But let’s get on to what you can expect on any big journey…

There will be horrible times. You will be harshly rejected, and it will hurt. You will get a number and be so happy and then be dejected when she ignores your text. You will think a girl really likes you and then she will just stop answering your calls. You will get dumped, in some shit way like by email or facebook, and it’ll probably make you cry. If you learn this stuff over a few months you will have
to experience a whole 5-10 years of bad stuff in that condensed time.

Here’s the good news:

It’s no longer left to chance, each error can be corrected next time, you are playing a computer game with “infinite lives”. You WILL know what you did wrong. Each time you fuck up and fail you’ll be further along, you’ll never go back to zero. You can at least approach, you can at least get numbers, you can at least get into relationships in the first place, you at least know you can get another date. The lows stop feeling so bad and the highs get better and better. Just like the average self-made millionnaire who went bankrupt 5 times, you need to learn and fail and suffer MORE than the average guy in order to be stronger and better than the average guy. It’ll make you into the man you want to be instead of a pussy, no one does this and gets to the end and stays a pussy. It’ll root out all of the shit things about yourself and force you to become a better man.

So here I am…I feel like I got to where I want to be. I don’t make massive mistakes, I’ve made them all already. I make small ones, and those are correctable. I can meet a beautiful girl, I can fall for
her and she’ll fall for me, i’ll want her and she’ll want me, we’ll be happy together. If it doesn’t work out, there are other girls out there, amazing girls aren’t amazingly common but i’ll find one and it
won’t take too long. I can’t be crushed for too long, I can’t be lonely for too long, and i’ll never feel helpless – I can help myself. I don’t want to be a robot with no emotions, but my game protects me
from feeling the real lows because I always know that i’m never going back to the situation I was in.

In sum, yeah it’s scary, yeah it will be tough, but it’s a road that you’ve got to take if you want to be happy.

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