What I did right:
- I felt shitty, low energy, had a cold, and was REALLY nervous, but I went out anyway.
- Got to the club sober
- When girls wanted to pass without asking me if they could, I'd say: "Yeah... sure you can pass!" *While putting my hand on their waist*
- One girl looked at me, said "Thanks", with a smile. And stayed for a sec... she wanted to talk, but I didn't go further. "She's not hot enough!", "I don't know what to say!", etc, I thought.
- Being sober I could look around, got LOADS of laughs when I made eye contact (approach invitations), you can easily see which girl is going to be receptive when you approach.
- Even after 3-4 glasses of wine I still felt sober. (And then I got drunk and just started dancing like crazy through groups of girls and stuff, blowing myself out and just having a good time :P)
- "SANDWICH!", saw 2 girls dancing and I just pushed myself in there shouting: "SANDWICH!", they look at me like: wtf?. So I continue to push myself in there shouting: "SANDWICH!". Eventually I got 1 girl grinding in front of me, and 1 girl behind me.
- When leaving 1 place to go to another I said to myself: "This is fucking ridiculous, alright, open the next woman you see direct.", I didn't see anyone, until 1 passed me by almost near the exit so I went: "You look FUCKING SEXY!" with direct eye contact. She looked at me... thought for a second... and walked off without saying a word. She wasn't even attractive.
- Got wine in a champagne glass. Made me look like a high roller. ;)
- Made outrageous compliance tests on opening:
- "You can't pass until you pay the toll" *Point to cheek for a kiss*
- Made a girl hold a drink so I could go dance in a dance-circle.
- Girl threw a drink in the air and made me wet: "Hey! You made me wet! ;)" *point to cheek for a kiss* (Got cheek to cheek kiss)
- Also when opening her I put my hand on her neck instead of the usual hand-on-waist... she seemed to be okay with it.
- Grabbed girls by the hips, and then moved them aside to pass through, really animated. (Even when there's LOADS of space around them, which makes it even funnier)
- 1 chick went really easily, the other really stiff and got an angry face.
What I did wrong:
- I feel like I can't hold a conversation, and for this reason alone I don't approach. I even use this as an excuse not to go to bars/clubs alone cause I feel like if I approach I'll just be an approaching machine, going through every group with small chit-chat that doesn't go anywhere and is really really boring.
- I also didn't approach, because I felt like every time I wanted to; I could see the girl reject me in my head. Made me feel like: "Fuck it, why even bother."
- Didn't open the first set I saw.
- Was really choosy in who I opened ("No, not her, she's not hot", "No, not her, there's guys around her", etc)
- Go direct on target, "So who are we here with tonight?", introduce yourself to the group, and focus back on her.
What I learned:
- Learned that AA is a fucking myth, I can open anyone whether I'm in state or not... it's easy. I don't need social momentum, I don't need warm-up sets, I don't need to get in state.
- Though I still have a negative self belief that;
1. I'll get rejected by 4/5 HOT woman. (STOP DOING CRAZY OPENERS AND GETTING NEGATIVE RESPONSES, OR DO IT AND TELL THEM YOU'RE JOKING AFTER-WARDS AND HAVE A NORMAL CONVERSATION)
2. I can't maintain a normal conversation.
- I opened a lot of girls, and yet I'd still not open every hot girl I saw because of these beliefs.
- Social proof is not important, I didn't notice any difference while holding a champagne glass, also while doing the sandwich only a quarter of the room saw it. The other side didn't see my social proof. Nobody cares. It's alright if it happens, but don't revolve your game around it.
- I can: Open, kino (IOM), SOI, etc, I've done it loads of times before. It's easy and not scary.
- Don't be choosy, talk to EVERYONE in close proximity (This is the best way to learn how to maintain a conversation with strangers, practice) and be sexual towards your target (Escalate the vibe = Holding face, getting closer and touch)
- Proof the brain wrong ("Your interaction is going to go great!").
- Think about all the woman who you have successfully opened.
- Remember all the smiles and hot girls that are willing to talk to you to support this new belief.
- Don't look for IOI's, Escalation = attractive. If she's not giving you an approach invitation, it just means she's not YET attracted. Escalate and she WILL be.
- You don't always have to talk, sexual tension keeps the interaction interesting. Just be comfortable with silence.
- If she likes you, she'll help you seduce her... she'll try to keep the conversation going too.
- Assume she wants your cock.
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What to do better next time:
- Bait to invest and qualify (See qualify notes)
- Half-a-hug ("You're giving me a lousy half-a-hug back ;)")
- "Hold this"
- "Tell me a joke"
- "What's your favourite place on your body to be kissed besides your lips"
- Sexual frames
- "You look like a nice girl on the outside, but I detect a serious naughty side."
- "You look really adventurous, kinda like the type of girl that really goes for what she wants and isn't afraid to let herself have some fun."
- Strawberry fields
- Story about how sex isn't a big deal and how it won't get weird after-wards.
- Say overtly sexual shit to build more sexual tension
- You're really an awesome person, I like you, I'm really glad I met you. Don't get any ideas, I'm trying to get into your pants, but if nothing happens I'm glad I met you. ;)
- "Too bad we're in a club, or else I'd throw you up against that couch, bend you over and take care of business... but, we're in a bar, So we can't do that ;)"
- “you’re lucky your friend is around or I would already be fingering you right now”
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Goals for next time:
- Learn conversational topics and qualifying statements.
- Be comfortable with silence.
- Go sober.
- When you get to the club, before anything open the first group of girls you see.
- Don't get a drink, don't go dancing, don't circle around, don't go to the bathroom
- Proof the brain wrong ("Your interaction is going to go great!").
- Think about all the woman who you have successfully opened.
- Remember all the smiles and hot girls that are willing to talk to you to support this new belief.
- Get rejected 25 times by having a NORMAL conversation. (Rejection = them walking away or telling you to "fuck off!")
- Normal conversation consists of:
- Fluff talk
- Banter (Humor)
- Teasing
- Cocky & Funny (Stop undressing me with your eyes/You're just trying to get me into bed)
- Sexual humor (innuendo's/misinterpretations)
- Tongue & Cheek Romanticism (roleplay that you're together)
- Irresistible asshole (looking for easy lay - goal=laughter)
- Roleplay (We are amazing like superheroes/New GF for the next 10 min/convince other people your married or pregnant. She's your "wife".)
- Takeaways = Punish resistance (Some girls need ZERO takeaways, some need 100. The more she likes you, the harder the takeaways can be.)
1. We're through/Divorce/Girls like you are bad for me
2. Statements of intent/If you stick around bad things will happen/Ignore her and give short answers
3. You're a player aren't you?/Just so you know, I think you're fucking hot, but we're not having sex
4. I thought you were awesome, I didn't know you were X, if that's true, then fuck this, I'm out.
5. (Pulling), I want you to come, but I'm not going to beg you. You know I like you, either come or don't. If you don't trust me, don't come.
6. (In isolation), Promise this won't be a one night stand/I know this sounds weird, but I'm not into one night stands/I like you, but if that's all you think I want from you after talking to you all night, then fuck this... I'm out
- Stories
- Cold reads
- Qualifying statements
- Sexual frames
- Statements of intent
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