Went on a date, here are some notes:
Limiting beliefs:
- Don't touch her, it's weird, you're not high energy
- Don't highfive her, or hug her, it's weird
- Don't kiss her or get too close, it's weird
- Don't tell her she looks cute and you're thinking about kissing her.. it's weird.
- Don't tell her you want to do anything sexual to her, it's weird.
*If you continue to look so cute, I'll be forced to try and kiss you later*
- You can't, because she's smoking.
- Use it as a barrier and instead say: Too bad you're smoking, or else I'd probably try and kiss you right now... but you're smoking, so it's too bad ;)
* ADD KINO TO STRAWBERRY FIELDS (HOLD HANDS, ETC)
* Eye contact got more over time = she grew more comfortable
* TEST TO GO FOR THE KISS... when holding eye contact slowly go in... slowly... see if she pulls back. If she doesn't = green light.
- You don't HAVE to kiss her... but now you just know you can.
- As long as you do it slowly. Slow is key.
Biggest failure: You didn't kino, that's why the gap to a kiss or even sex felt so great, and THAT's why it felt weird.
---
What I did right:
- Didn't feel like going, felt REALLY tired (Almost felt like sleeping).
- Felt really nervous.
- Nervous when she opened the door, and on greeting.
- Felt more comfortable after some talking... (After getting to know her a bit)
- Strawberry fields (Even though I totally messed up the first one, it still went awesome -> SHE'LL EAT ALL OF THE STRAWBERRIES AND SCREW THE FARMER!)
- Questions game (Went sexual with questions, but she went backwards (non-sexual), so I took that as a hint as her not being ready... even though she answered the sexual questions truthfully, I should've pushed. But I kept thinking: "I don't want to be the creepy sexual guy that's only thinking about sex.", even though I should RISK CREEPY.)
- Qualified sexually during the questions game ("Craziest place sex... lemme guess, foot of the bed", her: "Noooo, on the beach ;)")
- LOL! She asked me what are the 3 most important things in a relationship. It came out so fast, almost like I had pre-rehearsed it (She didn't caught on, but that's how I felt about it haha)
- Honesty, trust & respect. - Credit; David X
- She agreed.
- Set all the right frames:
- Non-judgemental
- Adventurous
- Independent
- Good at keeping secrets/discreet
- Baited her to invest (Still haven't heard any jokes ;))
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Loads of realisations #2
They just keep on coming... 60's and SNS are striking home... this time the biggest thing I've learned is:
Eye contact + blank stare + silence = still golden.
and
Screening for good logistics (and how fucking easy it is, if you remember to just do it)
AA stays throughout the night... the thing you should strive for is not giving a fuck when you get rejected or weird people out.
If you can instantly (or very quickly) say: "fuck it", when this happens... that's when you've reached Social God Mode.
How I was at the end, is the same as I am ALL THE TIME. The same thought patterns, the same worries, the same every thing... only difference is I say what's on my mind and don't give a fuck.
I'll admit to mistakes: Oh, I forgot your name, oh I ran out of stuff to say. I just don't give a fuck. Why? They're not responsible for my happiness... I am.
Bad body language is FINE... as long as you're comfortable. (e.g. not worrying about what they're thinking of you, e.g. in your head)
- leaning in doesn't count as bad body language... it's just needy and bad. With bad body language I mean folding of the arms, or not dancing and just looking around for a while.
Eye contact + blank stare + silence = still golden.
Had an awesome time
Nervous at start, approached first girl sober (really felt heart racing and afterwards felt like: wooow, feel the adrenaline, that was awesome!)
- Thought pattern after this was: "Yeah well... I approached, but I didn't go direct and I'm still a pussy for chickening out on the other 5-10 girls I saw... why is this SO HARD?!" (Next time when you get here, build it up... go indirect, chat with people, get in the mood to socialize)
Didn't approach enough... (stuck to the group I came with, or walked off and didn't approach ANY groups)
Usually go for loners (need to open mixed groups more, or 1 girl/2 guys, even try indirect and ask logistical questions at first, see how that goes. And then hit on her if she's single.)
Was sober at start, later 1-2 beers, kinda tipsy
Went direct EVERY TIME (you looked cute/nice, had to come meet you)
tried instantly for its on moment (her: "wow really forward... what... are you doing?") BUT, she was complying... curling her fingers in mine. Eventually I kinda let her go.. should've kept going and talked normally. Ignore her comments.
- I was LOOKING at our hands when going for the it's on moment... next time, feel it out, do it but hold eye contact and talk about something else. Don't draw attention to it... do you ever kino her shoulder and look at where you're touching? No... because it's fucking weird... same goes for the IOM.
CONSTANTLY ran out of stuff to say and went in my head thinking: alright... what routine to use
SNAKEBITE:
1st girl: I didn't hear you...
2nd girl: wow... this interaction keeps getting weirder! (already felt she was kinda hesistant at first, but as she wanted to walk off I kept talking, making statements and kept reingaging her as she gave me more and more compliance... even walking back to hear what I had to say... and then I went for the sexual frame too soon, or I just did snakebite too weird...)
Direct approach, false time constraint as I sat down... later friend came in, INSTANTLY greeted him, made statement (you seem like you're from the same school)
did snakebite, her: "yeah... I'm not feeling the poison :P"
I constantly said: well... I just ran out of stuff to say (which is the truth... haha, but it's not really something that'll help me in seduction)
holded eye contact with a girl a lot while silent... got close into her face without her breaking eye contact...
tried to get her number, she didn't give it...
me: "playing hard to get... I see :P do you have a boyfriend?"
her: "no..."
me: "then there's no reason not to give me your number"
her: "uuhhhh welll.... uhhh"
me: "alright, nevermind... I can already tell that I won't see you again based on your response so.... I don't want a flaky number, I want to see you again though"
*silence*
me: "you're kinda cool though... you can be my best friend for the next... 10 minutes ;)"
her: "hhaha 10 minutes? alright :P"
me: "so... i like your sense of humor though, tell me a joke"
her: instant reply: "nooo i don't know any"
seeing as she didn't even THINK first, I couldn't tell her: aahh I saw it, it was a dirty joke... it would've been out of place.
after opener, every time I asked who they were there with and how they knew eachother and they ALWAYS complied. ALWAYS.
Who are you here with, how do you all know eachother
and how did you get here? (Bike, Public transportation)
I got AWESOME responses.... I expected girls to be all negative EVERY TIME, but they weren't... they were happy to talk to me. (Even the ones that looked like they had an attitude) Until it got weird and I got this kinda feeling that I was unwanted so I left... (usually after baiting her to invest and her not complying and then looking around with a blank expression face)
fast escalation (snakebite -> sexual frame -> weirded some girls out..)
check
a calm reaction to resistance (look at her funny, eye contact)
check
persistence
check... but, should've overstayed my welcome longer... fuck social pressure, stay in there until she tells you to fuck off or leaves.
---
People are bored as fuck at social gatherings
You're adding value no matter what when you approach (even when you're creepy you'll give them a conversation piece for the rest of the night)
- This is fucking true.... I saw people I've approached, and even though my interaction was horrible, they'd still rather be talking to me than be bored.
- How do I know this? Easy, after awkward silence and her looking away, she reingaged me.. and was investing after I baited her to (e.g. ask her question, her replying truthfully and with eye contact/smile/etc)
So how would you act if you knew the woman you were talking to
already liked you?
I bet you probably held face contact, got really close to her, and didn’t
feel the need to say or do anything special. In fact, you probably sat back
and let her talk most of the time (qualify herself) while you smirked
thinking “it’s just a matter of time”.
- Yup, every time I was in conversation and she answered ANY question I asked with eye contact I would assume attraction, got really close and held eye contact/silence.
- Why did I assume attraction? Easy... she wasn't weirded out after I told her she was cute/nice and asked some logistical questions/statements.
---
Next time instead of snakebite -> good girl, naughty side (or different side, if it's too early)
- If you continue to look so cute I'm forced to flirt with you later (or some more)
- half-a-motherfucking-HUG
- 3D escalation (GET PEOPLE TO FUCKING MOVE, NO MATTER WHAT or WHERE you are in the interaction... get the calibration, fuck up a couple of times, 3D escalation is TOO HUGE to ignore)
I noticed that I used snakebite to reward her compliance (oh, you do this/that school.. awesome! pound it! snakebite)
It's not working... or it's too soon... (or I'm not doing it right, they're not laughing...)
reward with halfahug
or reward with highfive (and go into an IOM)
"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted"
And that I did... A LOT. Imagine how much more experience I would get if I approached EVERY girl that I liked... (loud music and mixed groups are still scaring me)
Loud music because: I'm scared she won't hear me and it just not going well. (Also I can't use long questions/statements/roleplays, keep the questions/statements short)
Mixed groups because: Guys are bigger than me? lol, I dunno... I always feel like guys would be hostile towards me, even though about 99/100 guys I meet are cool guys and like me)
In order to speed up the learning process I have to:
Stay in the interaction until I get a "fuck off", or she/they walk off.
Open girls EVERY WHERE, no matter the situation.
- And I've approached 1 girl/4 guys before (direct), so I know I can do it :)
- And I've approached girls in LOUD ASS clubs too (direct), they liked me, they smiled, interaction fizzles... byebye cute girl, but.... I know I can do it.
- Need to write down some NORMAL lines in-between sexual frames/roleplays/investments, sorry Epik, but you told me that you go from opener to snakebite to fuck/murder/marry to roleplay.... but to me.. that's weird. I want to be normal and sexy as fuck. I'll use your stuff... but... I need some NORMAL lines too. Some normal getting to know you questions.... hmmmmmmmmm what do I want to know....? (hint: personality)
So... from the "what do you do" question/statement, you go into the: "why choose that?" or "I see, so you like helping people... you must be a really good friend... etc"
To be continued... I'm fucking tired, I'm going to bed... can't wait until Thursday/Friday. Going out alone is getting closer... once I can: Hold conversations with mixed groups (fucking easy, but I'm not doing it because of fear) and am far enough to be able to isolate girls from groups consistently.
Eye contact + blank stare + silence = still golden.
and
Screening for good logistics (and how fucking easy it is, if you remember to just do it)
AA stays throughout the night... the thing you should strive for is not giving a fuck when you get rejected or weird people out.
If you can instantly (or very quickly) say: "fuck it", when this happens... that's when you've reached Social God Mode.
How I was at the end, is the same as I am ALL THE TIME. The same thought patterns, the same worries, the same every thing... only difference is I say what's on my mind and don't give a fuck.
I'll admit to mistakes: Oh, I forgot your name, oh I ran out of stuff to say. I just don't give a fuck. Why? They're not responsible for my happiness... I am.
Bad body language is FINE... as long as you're comfortable. (e.g. not worrying about what they're thinking of you, e.g. in your head)
- leaning in doesn't count as bad body language... it's just needy and bad. With bad body language I mean folding of the arms, or not dancing and just looking around for a while.
Eye contact + blank stare + silence = still golden.
Had an awesome time
Nervous at start, approached first girl sober (really felt heart racing and afterwards felt like: wooow, feel the adrenaline, that was awesome!)
- Thought pattern after this was: "Yeah well... I approached, but I didn't go direct and I'm still a pussy for chickening out on the other 5-10 girls I saw... why is this SO HARD?!" (Next time when you get here, build it up... go indirect, chat with people, get in the mood to socialize)
Didn't approach enough... (stuck to the group I came with, or walked off and didn't approach ANY groups)
Usually go for loners (need to open mixed groups more, or 1 girl/2 guys, even try indirect and ask logistical questions at first, see how that goes. And then hit on her if she's single.)
Was sober at start, later 1-2 beers, kinda tipsy
Went direct EVERY TIME (you looked cute/nice, had to come meet you)
tried instantly for its on moment (her: "wow really forward... what... are you doing?") BUT, she was complying... curling her fingers in mine. Eventually I kinda let her go.. should've kept going and talked normally. Ignore her comments.
- I was LOOKING at our hands when going for the it's on moment... next time, feel it out, do it but hold eye contact and talk about something else. Don't draw attention to it... do you ever kino her shoulder and look at where you're touching? No... because it's fucking weird... same goes for the IOM.
CONSTANTLY ran out of stuff to say and went in my head thinking: alright... what routine to use
SNAKEBITE:
1st girl: I didn't hear you...
2nd girl: wow... this interaction keeps getting weirder! (already felt she was kinda hesistant at first, but as she wanted to walk off I kept talking, making statements and kept reingaging her as she gave me more and more compliance... even walking back to hear what I had to say... and then I went for the sexual frame too soon, or I just did snakebite too weird...)
Direct approach, false time constraint as I sat down... later friend came in, INSTANTLY greeted him, made statement (you seem like you're from the same school)
did snakebite, her: "yeah... I'm not feeling the poison :P"
I constantly said: well... I just ran out of stuff to say (which is the truth... haha, but it's not really something that'll help me in seduction)
holded eye contact with a girl a lot while silent... got close into her face without her breaking eye contact...
tried to get her number, she didn't give it...
me: "playing hard to get... I see :P do you have a boyfriend?"
her: "no..."
me: "then there's no reason not to give me your number"
her: "uuhhhh welll.... uhhh"
me: "alright, nevermind... I can already tell that I won't see you again based on your response so.... I don't want a flaky number, I want to see you again though"
*silence*
me: "you're kinda cool though... you can be my best friend for the next... 10 minutes ;)"
her: "hhaha 10 minutes? alright :P"
me: "so... i like your sense of humor though, tell me a joke"
her: instant reply: "nooo i don't know any"
seeing as she didn't even THINK first, I couldn't tell her: aahh I saw it, it was a dirty joke... it would've been out of place.
after opener, every time I asked who they were there with and how they knew eachother and they ALWAYS complied. ALWAYS.
Who are you here with, how do you all know eachother
and how did you get here? (Bike, Public transportation)
I got AWESOME responses.... I expected girls to be all negative EVERY TIME, but they weren't... they were happy to talk to me. (Even the ones that looked like they had an attitude) Until it got weird and I got this kinda feeling that I was unwanted so I left... (usually after baiting her to invest and her not complying and then looking around with a blank expression face)
fast escalation (snakebite -> sexual frame -> weirded some girls out..)
check
a calm reaction to resistance (look at her funny, eye contact)
check
persistence
check... but, should've overstayed my welcome longer... fuck social pressure, stay in there until she tells you to fuck off or leaves.
---
People are bored as fuck at social gatherings
You're adding value no matter what when you approach (even when you're creepy you'll give them a conversation piece for the rest of the night)
- This is fucking true.... I saw people I've approached, and even though my interaction was horrible, they'd still rather be talking to me than be bored.
- How do I know this? Easy, after awkward silence and her looking away, she reingaged me.. and was investing after I baited her to (e.g. ask her question, her replying truthfully and with eye contact/smile/etc)
So how would you act if you knew the woman you were talking to
already liked you?
I bet you probably held face contact, got really close to her, and didn’t
feel the need to say or do anything special. In fact, you probably sat back
and let her talk most of the time (qualify herself) while you smirked
thinking “it’s just a matter of time”.
- Yup, every time I was in conversation and she answered ANY question I asked with eye contact I would assume attraction, got really close and held eye contact/silence.
- Why did I assume attraction? Easy... she wasn't weirded out after I told her she was cute/nice and asked some logistical questions/statements.
---
Next time instead of snakebite -> good girl, naughty side (or different side, if it's too early)
- If you continue to look so cute I'm forced to flirt with you later (or some more)
- half-a-motherfucking-HUG
- 3D escalation (GET PEOPLE TO FUCKING MOVE, NO MATTER WHAT or WHERE you are in the interaction... get the calibration, fuck up a couple of times, 3D escalation is TOO HUGE to ignore)
I noticed that I used snakebite to reward her compliance (oh, you do this/that school.. awesome! pound it! snakebite)
It's not working... or it's too soon... (or I'm not doing it right, they're not laughing...)
reward with halfahug
or reward with highfive (and go into an IOM)
"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted"
And that I did... A LOT. Imagine how much more experience I would get if I approached EVERY girl that I liked... (loud music and mixed groups are still scaring me)
Loud music because: I'm scared she won't hear me and it just not going well. (Also I can't use long questions/statements/roleplays, keep the questions/statements short)
Mixed groups because: Guys are bigger than me? lol, I dunno... I always feel like guys would be hostile towards me, even though about 99/100 guys I meet are cool guys and like me)
In order to speed up the learning process I have to:
Stay in the interaction until I get a "fuck off", or she/they walk off.
Open girls EVERY WHERE, no matter the situation.
- And I've approached 1 girl/4 guys before (direct), so I know I can do it :)
- And I've approached girls in LOUD ASS clubs too (direct), they liked me, they smiled, interaction fizzles... byebye cute girl, but.... I know I can do it.
- Need to write down some NORMAL lines in-between sexual frames/roleplays/investments, sorry Epik, but you told me that you go from opener to snakebite to fuck/murder/marry to roleplay.... but to me.. that's weird. I want to be normal and sexy as fuck. I'll use your stuff... but... I need some NORMAL lines too. Some normal getting to know you questions.... hmmmmmmmmm what do I want to know....? (hint: personality)
So... from the "what do you do" question/statement, you go into the: "why choose that?" or "I see, so you like helping people... you must be a really good friend... etc"
To be continued... I'm fucking tired, I'm going to bed... can't wait until Thursday/Friday. Going out alone is getting closer... once I can: Hold conversations with mixed groups (fucking easy, but I'm not doing it because of fear) and am far enough to be able to isolate girls from groups consistently.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Some notes on DJ Fuji's 21 Convention talk of 2010
Discipline is doing what's necessary, even when you don't feel like it.
Where I lack discipline?
1a. Approaching
Reason: Don't feel like it
Fix: Go to bed on time & get up early
- Eat healthy
- Exercise to gain energy
- Don't drink to excessive amounts (and get a hangover)
Why Fix It?: To have a happier dating life.
When: Next time you see a hot girl, open, no matter how you feel and no matter how the interaction goes... doesn't matter.
1b. Approaching 2
Reason: Don't want dissaproval (scared of failure/rejection)
Fix: Accept everything and realize it's not you or your skillset... it's a numbers game/pleasure.
- She's not rejecting YOU, her logistics aren't right or she's just not ready.
Why Fix It?: To have a happier dating life.
When: Next time you see a hot girl, open, no matter how you feel and no matter how the interaction goes... doesn't matter.
2a. Escalating
Reason: Don't want to blow it... take it easy and steady.
Fix: Blow me or blow me out (MODE ONE BABY)
Why Fix It?: Not escalating will make her lose interest and you end up losing the girl or wasting a lot of time... and usually both.
- If she walks away, she was gonna walk away ANYWAY. Whether you went for the kiss or not.
- She's just not ready, and will be down for it later... you have progressed forward.
- Doing NOTHING will keep you from progressing and is actually de-escalating.
- You always go forward because you're a man, you go for what you want (Attractive quality). She can forgive you for that... she won't forgive you for being a pussy.
When: Next time you're with a girl you like... escalate. ;)
2b. Escalating 2
Reason: Don't know HOW
Fix: Do something, anything... anything is better than nothing.
Why Fix It?: Not escalating will make her lose interest and you end up losing the girl or wasting a lot of time... and usually both.
When: Next time you're with a girl you like... escalate. Even if you don't know how... just do something.
- Where are you? and What needs to happen for sex to occur? (Hand caressing? Isolation? Kiss?) and work towards it.
3. Go to bed on time
Reason: I'm doing activities until really late at night that are fun, and I don't want to go to bed early
Fix: Set an alarm clock and fucking do it. Go to bed early.
Why Fix It?: To have a happier dating life, and have more energy in the morning.
- And to be able to get up early (see below)
When: Go to bed at 12 AM.
4. Get up early
Reason: I'm doing activities until really late at night that are fun, and I don't want to go to bed early
Fix: Set an alarm clock and fucking do it. Get up early.
Why Fix It?: To have a happier dating life, and have more energy in the morning.
- Also to be able to approach when I actually DO have to get out of the house, and to not waste precious hours of the day. The day is limited. Get up earlier will give you more hours to get things done.
When: Get up at 9 AM, and do all the things you would do in the evening after 12 AM.
When on the side of action or inaction, always take action.
You only regret the inaction...
- "Oh.. I shouldn't have gone out... I shouldn't have taken that trip... I should've stayed home."
- "I shouldn't have approached that HB10 with 2 guys with her."
Humor allows for escalation to happen without it being weird. (Kino, sexual frames, etc, with humor it's fine)
---
open the FIRST SET ALWAYS, no matter how you feel, no matter if it's 2 girls, guy and girl on a date, 2 guys making out, doesn't matter.
If you let 1 excuse get by, you're going to let every excuse get by.
Don't give yourself excuses. Because you'll make an excuse ladder:
"Oh, I can't approach them... they are 2 guys making out..."
What then will you say when there's 2 girls?
"Oh... I can't approach them, they're probably together..."
What about 3 girls?
"Oh... it looks like they're in a conversation right now... I don't want to disturb..."
Your goal is to OPEN, nothing else.
It's to OPEN, it's not to:
- impress people
- get attraction
- get her to like you
- get sexual
IT IS TO OPEN, UNTIL YOU OPEN NOTHING ELSE MATTERS. And when you get there... then you can worry about everything else.
Getting AA? Read this...:
Are you here to get the girl, or are you here to get the skill?
And if you're here to get the skill then why does a rejection matter?
Does it have any effect on your life whatsoever?
Don't let fear control your life... the fear is an illusion.
Don't let illusions hold you back from achieving your goals.
---------
1 girl and you make excuses, it doesn't matter that much experience wise...
...the problem comes that now your actions are influencing your beliefs.
What kind of man are you telling yourself that you are? Are you a man that goes after what he wants... apparently not, because your actions contradicts that.
When you're in-field and you see a set and you don't immediately go in...
"Let me think of a great opener and then I'll go in"
- If you thought of a great routine, you went in and took them home. It'll be worse on your inner game then if you went up straight away and got blown out.
- That sounds crazy in theory, but it's because you hesitated... When you hesitate, no matter what the outcome is...
you're telling yourself: I'm not a man of action, I'm not a man who believes in himself, I'm not a man who goes after what he wants.
instead, you're telling yourself: I'm a man who second guesses himself, I'm a man who isn't sure of himself (I've gotta think of what to say).
And that is much more damaging than anything else that you can do.
Actions influence beliefs.
---
Short is unattractive because it's stereotyped:
- With a lack of dominance.
- With a lack of survival value
- with a lack of strength
- With the lack of emotions of safety
When you're infield; YOU are NOT your results.
results have no impact on who you are
Great reactions, bad reactions. Girl likes you, girl doesn't like you, doesn't matter.
You either made mistakes or didn't. Or didn't do well, or did well.
When you blow ALL your sets, it means absolutely NOTHING to who YOU are.
And if you hook EVERY set, it means absolutely NOTHING to who YOU are.
It's simply a matter of how you performed. Mistakes or not.
Steer conversations from one topic to another one that's beneficial to you (e.g. sexuality/relationships/travel)
Where I lack discipline?
1a. Approaching
Reason: Don't feel like it
Fix: Go to bed on time & get up early
- Eat healthy
- Exercise to gain energy
- Don't drink to excessive amounts (and get a hangover)
Why Fix It?: To have a happier dating life.
When: Next time you see a hot girl, open, no matter how you feel and no matter how the interaction goes... doesn't matter.
1b. Approaching 2
Reason: Don't want dissaproval (scared of failure/rejection)
Fix: Accept everything and realize it's not you or your skillset... it's a numbers game/pleasure.
- She's not rejecting YOU, her logistics aren't right or she's just not ready.
Why Fix It?: To have a happier dating life.
When: Next time you see a hot girl, open, no matter how you feel and no matter how the interaction goes... doesn't matter.
2a. Escalating
Reason: Don't want to blow it... take it easy and steady.
Fix: Blow me or blow me out (MODE ONE BABY)
Why Fix It?: Not escalating will make her lose interest and you end up losing the girl or wasting a lot of time... and usually both.
- If she walks away, she was gonna walk away ANYWAY. Whether you went for the kiss or not.
- She's just not ready, and will be down for it later... you have progressed forward.
- Doing NOTHING will keep you from progressing and is actually de-escalating.
- You always go forward because you're a man, you go for what you want (Attractive quality). She can forgive you for that... she won't forgive you for being a pussy.
When: Next time you're with a girl you like... escalate. ;)
2b. Escalating 2
Reason: Don't know HOW
Fix: Do something, anything... anything is better than nothing.
Why Fix It?: Not escalating will make her lose interest and you end up losing the girl or wasting a lot of time... and usually both.
When: Next time you're with a girl you like... escalate. Even if you don't know how... just do something.
- Where are you? and What needs to happen for sex to occur? (Hand caressing? Isolation? Kiss?) and work towards it.
3. Go to bed on time
Reason: I'm doing activities until really late at night that are fun, and I don't want to go to bed early
Fix: Set an alarm clock and fucking do it. Go to bed early.
Why Fix It?: To have a happier dating life, and have more energy in the morning.
- And to be able to get up early (see below)
When: Go to bed at 12 AM.
4. Get up early
Reason: I'm doing activities until really late at night that are fun, and I don't want to go to bed early
Fix: Set an alarm clock and fucking do it. Get up early.
Why Fix It?: To have a happier dating life, and have more energy in the morning.
- Also to be able to approach when I actually DO have to get out of the house, and to not waste precious hours of the day. The day is limited. Get up earlier will give you more hours to get things done.
When: Get up at 9 AM, and do all the things you would do in the evening after 12 AM.
When on the side of action or inaction, always take action.
You only regret the inaction...
- "Oh.. I shouldn't have gone out... I shouldn't have taken that trip... I should've stayed home."
- "I shouldn't have approached that HB10 with 2 guys with her."
Humor allows for escalation to happen without it being weird. (Kino, sexual frames, etc, with humor it's fine)
---
open the FIRST SET ALWAYS, no matter how you feel, no matter if it's 2 girls, guy and girl on a date, 2 guys making out, doesn't matter.
If you let 1 excuse get by, you're going to let every excuse get by.
Don't give yourself excuses. Because you'll make an excuse ladder:
"Oh, I can't approach them... they are 2 guys making out..."
What then will you say when there's 2 girls?
"Oh... I can't approach them, they're probably together..."
What about 3 girls?
"Oh... it looks like they're in a conversation right now... I don't want to disturb..."
Your goal is to OPEN, nothing else.
It's to OPEN, it's not to:
- impress people
- get attraction
- get her to like you
- get sexual
IT IS TO OPEN, UNTIL YOU OPEN NOTHING ELSE MATTERS. And when you get there... then you can worry about everything else.
Getting AA? Read this...:
Are you here to get the girl, or are you here to get the skill?
And if you're here to get the skill then why does a rejection matter?
Does it have any effect on your life whatsoever?
Don't let fear control your life... the fear is an illusion.
Don't let illusions hold you back from achieving your goals.
---------
1 girl and you make excuses, it doesn't matter that much experience wise...
...the problem comes that now your actions are influencing your beliefs.
What kind of man are you telling yourself that you are? Are you a man that goes after what he wants... apparently not, because your actions contradicts that.
When you're in-field and you see a set and you don't immediately go in...
"Let me think of a great opener and then I'll go in"
- If you thought of a great routine, you went in and took them home. It'll be worse on your inner game then if you went up straight away and got blown out.
- That sounds crazy in theory, but it's because you hesitated... When you hesitate, no matter what the outcome is...
you're telling yourself: I'm not a man of action, I'm not a man who believes in himself, I'm not a man who goes after what he wants.
instead, you're telling yourself: I'm a man who second guesses himself, I'm a man who isn't sure of himself (I've gotta think of what to say).
And that is much more damaging than anything else that you can do.
Actions influence beliefs.
---
Short is unattractive because it's stereotyped:
- With a lack of dominance.
- With a lack of survival value
- with a lack of strength
- With the lack of emotions of safety
When you're infield; YOU are NOT your results.
results have no impact on who you are
Great reactions, bad reactions. Girl likes you, girl doesn't like you, doesn't matter.
You either made mistakes or didn't. Or didn't do well, or did well.
When you blow ALL your sets, it means absolutely NOTHING to who YOU are.
And if you hook EVERY set, it means absolutely NOTHING to who YOU are.
It's simply a matter of how you performed. Mistakes or not.
Steer conversations from one topic to another one that's beneficial to you (e.g. sexuality/relationships/travel)
Thursday, April 21, 2011
First time daygame
Day 1:
Had loads of excuses (AA), and didn't approach anyone. That day and the next I was feeling amazingly bad. I didn't feel like doing anything and I felt disappointed in myself, because I held myself back from doing what I wanted... which is to approach girls I find sexually attractive. I felt like I was going backwards and had to battle AA all over again. Like when I just started, it felt horrible. Close to depression. I got called out for it on work too, people kept asking: "What's wrong?".
Day 2:
- 2 girls, opinion opener, failed to transition. I eject.
- What time is it? While you're here can I get your opinion on... (bracelet I was wearing)
You're kinda cute, what are you up to?
Talked about our age, school, education
I held eye contact and was silent a lot, and she kept reengaging. And when the conversation went dead I started a new topic of conversation.
She invested in the interaction by telling me about the bracelets she was wearing.
Gave her half-a-hug while making a joke (Didn't tell her she gave me a lousy half-a-hug back)
After a while she went:
Her: "Well... I'm gonna go..."
I can't remember what I said, but I DO remember that "when girls run out of shit to say, their standard response is: "I'm gonna go back to my friends", this does NOT mean she's not attracted. Just say ANYTHING (doesn't matter what) to keep the interaction going" (from previous blog posts)
So I just started new conversational topics, she stayed and after a while I went to:
Me: "You should give me your number"
Her: "Nooo, I can't!"
Me: "Why?"
Her: "I don't even know you!"
Me: *silence*
Her: "Well okay sure! It's alright, you can have it!"
Then she gave me the weirdest and most awesome compliment I've ever gotten:
Her: "Wow, you're good!"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Her: "Well... the age difference... you're a lot younger than me... and... yeah... :)"
I think she was referring to my charm/game. :)
- Then saw this Super hot chick, exactly my type talking to a friend.
Me: *telling myself* OMG, Go approach, you're gonna regret it for the rest of the week.
Me: *Noo, she's with her friend.*
My Bro: "I see you watching... Do it!" (Thx for this!)
Me: "Fuck it, here I go" *turns around*
Then I see her saying goodbye to her friend, so I figured I'd wait a couple more seconds. Though due to nervousness I was walking back and forth waiting for her friend to leave. When she finally did I waited for her to pass, and then started walking/running. My heart was pounding like fucking crazy at this point.
Me: "Hey, wow, wait! stop!" *Stands in front of her*
Me: "You're too cute, I had to stop you and tell you I wanted to meet you..."
Her: "Yeah, but I don't want to meet YOU! Sorry!" *walks off*
Me: *Shouts through the streets* BUT AT LEAST I GAVE IT A SHOT, RIGHT?!
After-wards it took me a good 5 minutes to get some feeling back in my knees.
After today I feel good, happy and powerful. Like all the hard work is paying off.... and I'm doing what I want. Damn, rejection feels awesome.
- What will feel worse? Rejection or regret?
- Try and get rejected = goal.
- It's not rejection, it's a screening process.
Infield pics (First number close in daygame):
Had loads of excuses (AA), and didn't approach anyone. That day and the next I was feeling amazingly bad. I didn't feel like doing anything and I felt disappointed in myself, because I held myself back from doing what I wanted... which is to approach girls I find sexually attractive. I felt like I was going backwards and had to battle AA all over again. Like when I just started, it felt horrible. Close to depression. I got called out for it on work too, people kept asking: "What's wrong?".
Day 2:
- 2 girls, opinion opener, failed to transition. I eject.
- What time is it? While you're here can I get your opinion on... (bracelet I was wearing)
You're kinda cute, what are you up to?
Talked about our age, school, education
I held eye contact and was silent a lot, and she kept reengaging. And when the conversation went dead I started a new topic of conversation.
She invested in the interaction by telling me about the bracelets she was wearing.
Gave her half-a-hug while making a joke (Didn't tell her she gave me a lousy half-a-hug back)
After a while she went:
Her: "Well... I'm gonna go..."
I can't remember what I said, but I DO remember that "when girls run out of shit to say, their standard response is: "I'm gonna go back to my friends", this does NOT mean she's not attracted. Just say ANYTHING (doesn't matter what) to keep the interaction going" (from previous blog posts)
So I just started new conversational topics, she stayed and after a while I went to:
Me: "You should give me your number"
Her: "Nooo, I can't!"
Me: "Why?"
Her: "I don't even know you!"
Me: *silence*
Her: "Well okay sure! It's alright, you can have it!"
Then she gave me the weirdest and most awesome compliment I've ever gotten:
Her: "Wow, you're good!"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Her: "Well... the age difference... you're a lot younger than me... and... yeah... :)"
I think she was referring to my charm/game. :)
- Then saw this Super hot chick, exactly my type talking to a friend.
Me: *telling myself* OMG, Go approach, you're gonna regret it for the rest of the week.
Me: *Noo, she's with her friend.*
My Bro: "I see you watching... Do it!" (Thx for this!)
Me: "Fuck it, here I go" *turns around*
Then I see her saying goodbye to her friend, so I figured I'd wait a couple more seconds. Though due to nervousness I was walking back and forth waiting for her friend to leave. When she finally did I waited for her to pass, and then started walking/running. My heart was pounding like fucking crazy at this point.
Me: "Hey, wow, wait! stop!" *Stands in front of her*
Me: "You're too cute, I had to stop you and tell you I wanted to meet you..."
Her: "Yeah, but I don't want to meet YOU! Sorry!" *walks off*
Me: *Shouts through the streets* BUT AT LEAST I GAVE IT A SHOT, RIGHT?!
After-wards it took me a good 5 minutes to get some feeling back in my knees.
After today I feel good, happy and powerful. Like all the hard work is paying off.... and I'm doing what I want. Damn, rejection feels awesome.
- What will feel worse? Rejection or regret?
- Try and get rejected = goal.
- It's not rejection, it's a screening process.
Infield pics (First number close in daygame):
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
The Investment Ladder (Baiting to invest)
Alright, so after 2 weeks in a row of really pushing myself and trying to get blown out. I've had major epiphanies. (Also being sober when going out, which is a major boost in confidence, and helps me remember more of the interaction ;))
The cool people at samenightseduction.com tell us to bait girls to invest, but only since yesterday have I really seen the true power of it.
When baiting girls to invest they can either comply, or not. This will tell you where you are, and how attracted they are. This will tell you how strong of a sexual frame you can set and how much they are willing to invest in the interaction.
If they don't comply, you try and bait them to invest in something smaller and/or set lower forms of sexual frames. Then after they've invested with lower requests they'll be more inclined to do bigger investments because cognitive dissonance will set in and make her more attracted.
And with baiting to invest, I mean A LOT of things; 3D escalation is a form of investing (come here, do this, go there, etc), qualifying, snakebite, highfive, half-a-hugs, roleplays, tell me a joke, do a spin, silence, etc
Some require more investing than others, and you need to know how much she's willing to invest, so you don't build this ladder of you trying to get her to invest and her not complying.
Build up the investment ladder... that's what I came to realize yesterday on my walk home from the club.
Because I've noticed when I could get away with big investments on their part I would get this feel for it and could almost guarantee that I could get away with asking for lower forms of investments.
And if you can add justification for your compliance requests and form them in statements then they will get accepted A LOT more.
e.g. Instead of saying... "Do you want to come to the bar and have a drink with me?"
Say something like this... "I'm really thirsty, keep me company while I go to the bar and get a drink."
Instead of: "Tell me a joke", say: "I'll keep you company for a while, IF you tell me a joke.".
p.s. I'm using half-a-hug in every interaction I have with woman now... it's really fun to see them just sorta accepting it, and then after going: "You're giving me a lousy half-a-hug back" seeing them give this full on hug. Good stuff.
p.p.s. When girls run out of shit to say, their standard response is: "I'm gonna go back to my friends", this does NOT mean she's not attracted. Just say ANYTHING (doesn't matter what) to keep the interaction going. ---> Roleplay, Bait to invest, Move her, Be comfortable with silence
The cool people at samenightseduction.com tell us to bait girls to invest, but only since yesterday have I really seen the true power of it.
When baiting girls to invest they can either comply, or not. This will tell you where you are, and how attracted they are. This will tell you how strong of a sexual frame you can set and how much they are willing to invest in the interaction.
If they don't comply, you try and bait them to invest in something smaller and/or set lower forms of sexual frames. Then after they've invested with lower requests they'll be more inclined to do bigger investments because cognitive dissonance will set in and make her more attracted.
And with baiting to invest, I mean A LOT of things; 3D escalation is a form of investing (come here, do this, go there, etc), qualifying, snakebite, highfive, half-a-hugs, roleplays, tell me a joke, do a spin, silence, etc
Some require more investing than others, and you need to know how much she's willing to invest, so you don't build this ladder of you trying to get her to invest and her not complying.
Build up the investment ladder... that's what I came to realize yesterday on my walk home from the club.
Because I've noticed when I could get away with big investments on their part I would get this feel for it and could almost guarantee that I could get away with asking for lower forms of investments.
And if you can add justification for your compliance requests and form them in statements then they will get accepted A LOT more.
e.g. Instead of saying... "Do you want to come to the bar and have a drink with me?"
Say something like this... "I'm really thirsty, keep me company while I go to the bar and get a drink."
Instead of: "Tell me a joke", say: "I'll keep you company for a while, IF you tell me a joke.".
p.s. I'm using half-a-hug in every interaction I have with woman now... it's really fun to see them just sorta accepting it, and then after going: "You're giving me a lousy half-a-hug back" seeing them give this full on hug. Good stuff.
p.p.s. When girls run out of shit to say, their standard response is: "I'm gonna go back to my friends", this does NOT mean she's not attracted. Just say ANYTHING (doesn't matter what) to keep the interaction going. ---> Roleplay, Bait to invest, Move her, Be comfortable with silence
Sunday, April 17, 2011
My Life Purpose
After doing the exercise by Steve Pavlina called: "How to Discover Your Life Purpose in About 20 Minutes", I've come to this conclusion:
What is my true purpose in life?
Become the happiest I can be, by being truly comfortable with myself and my emotions.
And expressing myself so that others can connect with my essence without letting my fears or anyone else hold me back from expressing my core,
while inspiring others to do the same so that they feel the same good feelings as me.
So that someday when we all die, we'll have no regrets in the short and limited time we have on this earth.
It came awfully close to what Steve Pavlina's purpose was, only this was in my own words coming from myself, so there are a lot of different words used.
What is Steve Pavlina's true purpose in life?
To live consciously and courageously;
To enjoy, increase, and share peace, energy, passion, and abundance;
To resonate with love and compassion;
To awaken the great spirits within others;
And to fully embrace this present moment.
p.s. I came to the conclusion by adding various sentences together that I have previously written and highlighted. (e.g. be happy, be an inspiration to others, etc). Also the end result didn't make me cry, but I did get this really strong emotional feeling in my gut when I wrote it. It made me feel really excited.
What is my true purpose in life?
Become the happiest I can be, by being truly comfortable with myself and my emotions.
And expressing myself so that others can connect with my essence without letting my fears or anyone else hold me back from expressing my core,
while inspiring others to do the same so that they feel the same good feelings as me.
So that someday when we all die, we'll have no regrets in the short and limited time we have on this earth.
It came awfully close to what Steve Pavlina's purpose was, only this was in my own words coming from myself, so there are a lot of different words used.
What is Steve Pavlina's true purpose in life?
To live consciously and courageously;
To enjoy, increase, and share peace, energy, passion, and abundance;
To resonate with love and compassion;
To awaken the great spirits within others;
And to fully embrace this present moment.
p.s. I came to the conclusion by adding various sentences together that I have previously written and highlighted. (e.g. be happy, be an inspiration to others, etc). Also the end result didn't make me cry, but I did get this really strong emotional feeling in my gut when I wrote it. It made me feel really excited.
Loads of realisations
Just some quick gibberish for my own viewing:
bait to invest is awesome
bait girls to invest and you can gauge how much they like you
build it up
small investments turn into big investments (same goes for qualifiers)
I am comfortable talking to hot girls
I am comfortable giving statement of intents, they accept them.
Make jokes, be funny, do stupid shit, have a laugh, don't give a fuck
Make stupid role plays, do stupid kindergarden jokes, they're funny as fuck
Find girls who like you, not everyone does, but the ones that do are awesome to hang out with
ESCALATE FFS, pull the fucking trigger, ask numbers, go for kiss closes, pull her the fuck home
you can't "BLOW" it, you can only escalate. If she doesn't go for it, she'll go for it later. It's not the end. She won't blow you out.
Make her invest, be comfortable with silence, you ARE comfortable with silence. When silence drops THEY will invest. They can't handle it and talk. They will qualify.
Don't be scared to get rejected, fuck it. Sure, some will reject you, but the others will be HAPPY to have an awesome interaction with you. Girls are awesome, screw the girls who aren't. They're not fun and you don't want to spend time with them anyway.
SILENCE IS FUCKING GOLDEN.
HALFAHUG IS FUCKING GOLDEN.
See how much investment you can get away with, if she declines. It's no big deal, DON'T TALK ABOUT IT, JUST DROP IT and continue the conversation, then bait her to invest in something smaller.
Come here, do a spin, highfive, halfahug, snakebite, silence, roleplays, statement of intents (YOUR FAULT), etc
Dancefloor game is NOT where you can go out alone, find a venue where you can have conversations with people, there is where you can go out alone.
Talk to EVERYONE, be sexual with girls you find sexually attractive and be SOCIAL with girls that aren't. Find out what their world consists of, their hopes, fears, dreams, what drives them, what makes them special, make them QUALIFY.
You are AWESOME, you don't need approval from anyone to prove this. You KNOW this. Find people who are awesome and who recognize that you are awesome.
Boring people suck, people who don't like you suck even worse, but you know who is awesome? People that are in for a good time. People that laugh at your stupid jokes, people that go along with your roleplays, people that are happy to talk to you and tell you all about them.
FUCKING PULL THE TRIGGER (APPROACH, ITS ON MOMENT (I like you), CLOSE)
She's hot, should I approach? FUCKING YES, and see if she's awesome or boring.
If she's awesome -> ESCALATE. If she's boring -> Leave... it's THAT simple!
It's not rejection, you're just not compatible, she doesn't feel your vibe, she doesn't like your jokes, it's fine, there are millions that do. Screw them and find the ones that actually like you. Don't waste your time on boring people.
p.s. When girls run out of shit to say, their standard response is: "I'm gonna go back to my friends", this does NOT mean she's not attracted. Just say ANYTHING (doesn't matter what) to keep the interaction going. ---> Roleplay, Bait to invest, Move her, Be comfortable with silence
bait to invest is awesome
bait girls to invest and you can gauge how much they like you
build it up
small investments turn into big investments (same goes for qualifiers)
I am comfortable talking to hot girls
I am comfortable giving statement of intents, they accept them.
Make jokes, be funny, do stupid shit, have a laugh, don't give a fuck
Make stupid role plays, do stupid kindergarden jokes, they're funny as fuck
Find girls who like you, not everyone does, but the ones that do are awesome to hang out with
ESCALATE FFS, pull the fucking trigger, ask numbers, go for kiss closes, pull her the fuck home
you can't "BLOW" it, you can only escalate. If she doesn't go for it, she'll go for it later. It's not the end. She won't blow you out.
Make her invest, be comfortable with silence, you ARE comfortable with silence. When silence drops THEY will invest. They can't handle it and talk. They will qualify.
Don't be scared to get rejected, fuck it. Sure, some will reject you, but the others will be HAPPY to have an awesome interaction with you. Girls are awesome, screw the girls who aren't. They're not fun and you don't want to spend time with them anyway.
SILENCE IS FUCKING GOLDEN.
HALFAHUG IS FUCKING GOLDEN.
See how much investment you can get away with, if she declines. It's no big deal, DON'T TALK ABOUT IT, JUST DROP IT and continue the conversation, then bait her to invest in something smaller.
Come here, do a spin, highfive, halfahug, snakebite, silence, roleplays, statement of intents (YOUR FAULT), etc
Dancefloor game is NOT where you can go out alone, find a venue where you can have conversations with people, there is where you can go out alone.
Talk to EVERYONE, be sexual with girls you find sexually attractive and be SOCIAL with girls that aren't. Find out what their world consists of, their hopes, fears, dreams, what drives them, what makes them special, make them QUALIFY.
You are AWESOME, you don't need approval from anyone to prove this. You KNOW this. Find people who are awesome and who recognize that you are awesome.
Boring people suck, people who don't like you suck even worse, but you know who is awesome? People that are in for a good time. People that laugh at your stupid jokes, people that go along with your roleplays, people that are happy to talk to you and tell you all about them.
FUCKING PULL THE TRIGGER (APPROACH, ITS ON MOMENT (I like you), CLOSE)
She's hot, should I approach? FUCKING YES, and see if she's awesome or boring.
If she's awesome -> ESCALATE. If she's boring -> Leave... it's THAT simple!
It's not rejection, you're just not compatible, she doesn't feel your vibe, she doesn't like your jokes, it's fine, there are millions that do. Screw them and find the ones that actually like you. Don't waste your time on boring people.
p.s. When girls run out of shit to say, their standard response is: "I'm gonna go back to my friends", this does NOT mean she's not attracted. Just say ANYTHING (doesn't matter what) to keep the interaction going. ---> Roleplay, Bait to invest, Move her, Be comfortable with silence
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